Law & Order: SVU - Lost
by D M Harper
Summary: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan. Be Warned: F/F storyline. Please be kind and review; it's what motivates the writers to continue.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 1

**Secure Parking Lot**

**St Mark's Hospital**

**1920 hours Wednesday 1****st**** October 2003**

**Chung, chung**

Bathed in a thin film of perspiration, Alexandra Cabot grimaced as she slipped past DEA Agent Jack Hammond and took her place on the rear seat of the black Chevrolet Suburban SUV. Ignoring the sharp pain invading her upper left chest, the five foot ten blonde made herself comfortable, then gingerly rested her sling encased left arm across her stomach.

Six foot two Agent Hammond moved in to close the door and Alex locked onto his weary blue eyes, "Thank you Agent Hammond, I appreciate you taking this little detour for me."

With the smallest of grins, the good looking, bald Agent replied, "You'll have five minutes; that's the best I can allow under the circumstances. We are required to meet your plane at 2000 hours."

Holding back tears, Alex nodded, "That's better than none."

"I know this is hard for you right now Miss Cabot, but it's the only option available."

"I really don't have any other choice or say in the matter, do I?" she mumbled as the Agent secured the door.

Moving around to the opposite side of the vehicle, Hammond climbed in beside Alex then shut the door. "Let's roll Agent Duffy," he ordered the driver before withdrawing the cell phone attached to his belt. Keying in a number, he waited for two rings before his call was answered.

_"Stabler."_

"Detective, Agent Hammond here, I need to meet with you and your partner in ten minutes."

_"What's this all about?"_ enquired Elliot with caution.

"It's about tying up loose ends."

_"Hammond, the case is dead and buried,"_ Elliot's voice broke. _"Just like our former ADA."_

"It's important we meet Detective Stabler," implored Hammond without further detail.

_"Yeah okay, where do you want to hook up?"_

"The Lakes area, Central Park."

_"All right, see you in ten,"_ grumbled Elliot before closing his phone.

"What's he want?" queried his work partner Olivia Benson.

"He wants to close out the case. We have to meet him in Central Park down by the Lake."

With the news, Olivia's hands started to shake against the steering wheel and tears well in her dark brown eyes, "Oh okay."

Elliot, forty one, reached over and gripped her shoulder, "I'm real sorry Liv."

"It's all right El, I'm okay," lied Olivia while swallowing the lump in her throat.

"This is just so fucking wrong," protested the upset detective. "I miss her too and it's okay to cry."

"It's all I've done for the past two days," admitted the thirty four year old with collar length brown hair. "Everything is so surreal and my hearts aches constantly."

"I know Liv," agreed Elliot sadly. "And I'm here for you whenever you need me."

"Thanks El. You and Kathy have been a tremendous help."

Elliot squeezed his best friend's arm, "Little steps."

"Yep, that's what the experts say," responded Olivia before changing the subject. "I'm looking forward to dinner at your place Friday."

"So are Kathy and the kids."

The long-time partners chatted away about Elliot's twins' latest school results until Olivia pulled their dark brown Ford Crown Victoria sedan alongside the kerb. They spotted the tail lights of the Chevrolet Suburban some twenty feet in front of them and alighted from the sedan.

Agent Hammond and two other Agents quickly exited the black vehicle as the two detectives approached.

Hammond walked towards them and shook both their hands in greeting, "Sorry about the clandestine tactics, but it is imperative we not be seen. I need your assurances that what is about to occur is not to be discussed with anyone, including your Captain Cragen."

"Sure, you have my word," replied Elliot impatiently.

Olivia shook her head, "Just get on with it."

Hammond motioned to an Agent and he opened the rear door of the SUV.

"I'll be damned," whispered a shocked Elliot as Alex was helped out of the car.

"Oh my god," cried Olivia while struggling with her emotions and the knees that were determined to buckle underneath her. "Your funeral is tomorrow, I can't believe you're alive."

Alex smiled miserably through her tears at the Detectives, "I apologise for the deception; it wasn't my idea."

Elliot reined in his disbelief and asked, "How ... why?"

"I have to go away I'm afraid, it's the only way to stay safe. If Velez can get to Zapata Gaviria then he can get to me." Teardrops continued to fall from her eyes as she hugged Elliot, "I don't have much time. Take care Elliot and be safe."

He embraced her back, mindful of her injury, "You too Alex and I'm so glad you're alive, but it blows that you have to leave us."

Stepping back, Alex moved to Olivia. The brunette was sobbing and lost for words. Her broken heart healed for a brief moment then shattered all over again.

Alex drew her into a tight clinch and whispered, "I love you so much, but I need you to let go of me. I won't ask you to wait for me. As long as Velez is free I won't be able to return. It could be several years baby and I can't do that to you."

With deep gulps of air, Olivia held on firmly and wept, "I love you Alex and I can't let go now I know you are alive."

Alex leaned back and cupped her distraught lover's face with her right hand, "Please Liv, I won't be able to survive this if I know you are here waiting for my return."

"I understand, but I'll always love you."

"You'll always have my love, be happy Olivia."

Stepping in, Agent Hammond interrupted the two women, "We have to be going Miss Cabot."

Without another word, Alex moved in and captured Olivia's lips in a tender, heart crumbling kiss of goodbye.

Olivia's eyes were still closed when Alex ended their contact. She couldn't bear to watch the woman she loved walk away.

As the car drove off seconds later, she felt Elliot's arms around her shoulders and for the third time in three days, she collapsed to the ground and wailed uncontrollably.

-0-

**Newark Airport DEA Hangar**

**1930 hours 1****st**** October 2003**

**Chung, chung**

The blonde bawled all the way to Newark Airport and only pulled herself together when the car drove into a large hangar. She exited the vehicle once Agent Duffy opened the door for her.

Spotting a white Gulf Stream aeroplane, Alex noticed a tall, dark skinned male approaching her location.

Agent Hammond retrieved two suitcases from the rear compartment and handed them to Duffy, "Put those on board." He passed the stranger a large yellow envelope, "Deputy Hopkins, Miss Cabot is officially under the protection of the U.S. Marshals."

"Thanks Jack."

"We'll be in touch when you are required Miss Cabot for court proceedings," explained Hammond while securing the tailgate.

Duffy returned to the Suburban and the DEA Agents departed the building without further fanfare.

The man Hammond identified as Hopkins extended his right hand to Alex, "I'm Deputy Marshal Hopkins ma'am. If you'll follow me, we'll be under way."

Alex shook the offered hand firmly then followed. She was too stunned to speak and just wanted to be with Olivia and have this nightmare end.

Trudging up the steps, she was directed to take a seat and buckle up.

"That's a little difficult with only one arm," she pointed out.

Hopkins grinned, "Oh yes, sorry about that. I'll help you."

"Thank you."

Alex looked up towards the cockpit area when the door opened. She studied the olive skinned, dark trousers and navy blue polo shirt attired woman for a second then turned away. "I appreciate your assistance," she told Hopkins once he was finished.

He took a seat while the tall, dark brown haired female sat opposite Alex.

A well-toned long arm reached towards Alex, "I'm Deputy Marshal Taylor." After shaking the blonde's hand, she leaned back into the seat and fastened her seat belt.

Instantly, Hopkins handed over the envelope and Taylor opened it up. Placing a manila folder onto the table between her and Alex, she continued, "As of the twenty ninth of September when you were unfortunately shot, life as you know it ceased to exist. Alexandra Cabot is no longer considered alive and you are now Emily Grace Johnson."

The Deputy ignored the blonde's rolling eyes and proceeded, "I know you are tired, so your new identity and cover story can wait until tomorrow morning."

"Where will I be living?" enquired Alex with more than a hint of resentment.

"Wausau Wisconsin."

The information stunned Alex and she burst into tears, "I'm not happy about this."

Brown eyes glistened with sympathy, "Not too many people with WitSec are ma'am. Once we settle you into your new home, I'll go over the procedures with you."

Alex's fury, tiredness and immense heartache combined into an eruption, "I know the protocol Deputy. I'm an ADA and have assisted with numerous witnesses who have required protection. I'm not some idiot bimbo off the streets."

In reply, Deputy Taylor remained professional, "I apologise if I offended you. My statement wasn't intended to imply any disparaging assessment regards your intelligence."

Alex was about to respond when the jet's engines started. Instead she closed her eyes and attempted to block out the calamity her life had become.

-0-

When the aircraft levelled off to cruising altitude, the brunette unfastened her belt and took a seat beside Hopkins. "This is going to be a fun assignment," she complained. "Only five minutes in and I've managed to piss her off."

Hopkins chuckled softly, "That's a new record for you."

"Jesus Lewis, this is the worst part of the job."

"I hear you. At least it's only an hour and a half before we touchdown."

"That my dear friend will be the one and only highlight," quipped Taylor as she stood and entered the galley.

She returned moments later carrying three bottles of Tynant water. After tossing a cobalt blue glass bottle to Lewis, she sat opposite Alex again and said to the teary eyed blonde, "I thought you might like a drink."

Accepting the offered container, Alex mumbled, "Thanks."

"I know this whole situation is unacceptable to you and quite frankly, this is the hardest part of my job."

Alex directed her eyes to the attractive brunette with a clipped English accent and asked, "How so?"

"It's my responsibility to ensure you leave your life behind and pretend to be someone else."

Despite her circumstances, Alex finally relaxed, "I don't envy you your career."

"You have my utmost sympathy and I fully understand how horrific and confusing it all seems right at this moment."

Alex noted the hurt in the Deputy's dark brown eyes and said, "Thank you and I just don't know how I can do this."

"Take all the anger you have towards Velez and put it aside. It will only eat you up inside and trust the DEA and the DA's office to do their jobs and bring your would-be assassin before a court."

Alex nodded slightly, "How long have you be doing this?"

"This is my seventh year as a Deputy and third at having to disrupt people's lives and keep them safe."

Alex's mouth curled upwards, "I guess it doesn't help when your primary behaves like a spoilt brat."

"You were fairly tame compared to others, so don't worry about it."

Feeling more at ease with the Deputy, Alex enquired, "What happens once we arrive in Wausau?"

"They'll be a vehicle waiting for us at the airport then from there it's a short drive to your new home."

"What will happen to my apartment in Manhattan?"

"In time, everything will be sold as per your will instructions."

"Damn it, I was supposed to make several amendments before all this mess occurred."

"If you still want to make those alterations, I can organise it so a copy is discovered in your apartment."

"Thank you, but what if this nightmare is over within the next six months?"

"Your estate will be conveniently held over in rebate for two years just in case that eventuates and your apartment will be subsequently rented out during the interim."

"Can I ask you another question?"

"By all means, go ahead."

"What's the longest period of time someone has been with WitSec before returning to their old life?"

"To be honest, same people never go back, even after the threat no longer exists. For some it's too hard to contemplate starting over again and they are happy with their new identities."

"That won't be me," replied Alex defiantly.

Taylor had heard that statement before from dozens of people and none had returned to their previous lives. She didn't share that knowledge with the former ADA and excused herself to go talk with Lewis.

-0-

**Wausau, Wisconsin**

**2128 hours 1****st**** October 2003**

**Chung, chung**

It was close to nine thirty when Lewis activated the remote controlled garage door of the modest home with three bedrooms and a study and drove inside.

"I'll go ahead and search the interior," offered Deputy Taylor as she opened her door. "You two remain here."

"You got it," acknowledged Lewis.

After scrutinising the house and surrounding yard, Taylor returned to the garage and secured the roller door, "All clear, let's get you settled Emily."

Alex baulked at the sound of her new name momentarily then followed the deputies inside.

"Your bedroom is down the hall, first door on the right," directed Taylor. "I suggest you try to get some sleep and we'll begin your background story in the morning."

Silently, Alex drudged down the corridor carrying her two bags. She returned to the kitchen moments later and found Lewis on the phone.

He finished the call and asked, "Is there something you needed ma'am?"

"No thank you, I was just going to grab a drink."

"Oh okay, there's plenty of beverages in the refrigerator. The house has been fully stocked."

"Yes, I noticed the new linen in the furnished bedroom. Where is Deputy Taylor?"

"She's doing a perimeter check before turning in. I'll be taking first watch, so don't be alarmed if you hear me walking around."

Alex opened the fridge and fetched a bottle of water, "How long will you be here?"

"Two weeks then it will just be Deputy Taylor with you full time until it is deemed you are no longer under extreme threat."

"Oh I see, well goodnight Deputy," replied Alex as she headed for her room.

"Goodnight ma'am."

Collecting her toiletries and sleepwear, Alex entered the bathroom and took a long shower.

She nearly bumped into Deputy Taylor in the hallway on her way back to the boudoir.

"Goodnight ma'am," said the brunette. "If you require anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

"I won't and goodnight."

Once Alex was settled in the unfamiliar bed, her thoughts turned to Olivia and she cried herself to sleep.

-0-

It was well past nine when Alex woke the following morning and prepared for her first day as Emily Johnson.

Entering the kitchen, she found Deputy Taylor sitting at the breakfast counter typing away on a laptop. She looked up and smiled, "Good morning ma'am, there's bacon and eggs in the oven."

"Thank you and good morning. So how does this work?"

"After you've eaten we have to dye your hair then I'll explain all about your cover story."

With an expression of horror, Alex ran a hand through her long tresses, "My hair?"

"Yes, we need to disguise you in some way."

Collecting some food, Alex sat down at the dining table. She remained quiet throughout the meal and sobbed when Taylor helped her colour her hair to a shade of light brown.

"I'm really sorry you had to go through that," commented Taylor when the two women returned to the kitchen and took a seat at the counter.

As a dense sorrow befell Alex, she finally snapped, "Stop apologising, it's not your fault. Let's just get on with it Deputy."

"My name is Erin," replied the Deputy as she opened the folder and attempted to lighten the burden for her primary. "Okay, your new date of birthday is November fourth 1976."

"Great, I get to be twenty-seven twice this year."

"Once your hair is dry, I'll take photos for a new driver's licence and passport then send them to the U.S. Department of Justice so all the authentic documents can be organised. You start work next month on the fourth as a claims adjuster with Tower Insurance. Your work office is located at 706 West Thomas Street which is a six minute drive from your present location."

"Wow, that sounds absolutely riveting," scoffed Alex deadpan.

"It's the best we could do under the limitations of available time. Your home address is 20 Grant Street and I have to remind you that you are prohibited from owning a cell phone or have internet service until such time as it is considered no longer a risk to use those forms of communication."

"I'm aware of that, they're far too easy to trace unless they're fitted with a scrambler program."

"Correct and your car will arrive tomorrow and for all intents and purposes, I am your cousin from Tulsa. I will be your only contact with the Marshals Service once you are left on your own and I will be checking in with you randomly."

"So I'm just expected to build a life here until further notice?"

"Unfortunately that's a yes."

"Anything else," asked an irritated Alex.

"I'm your only living relative."

"Well that cuts back on the learning process."

Erin stood and walked away from the counter, "I'll give you some space and allow you to finish your coffee. I only seem to be upsetting you."

Alex felt terrible about her behaviour and was about to apologise when the Deputy's cell phone rang. She watched as the five foot ten, slender frame moved down the hallway.

"Taylor," Erin answered.

_"Bradford here,"_ replied her immediate supervisor. _"I need an update."_

"Yes sir. The primary is having difficulty in adjusting which is understandable."

James Bradford chuckled at the statement, _"Well there's a surprise."_

"Yes sir."

_"Do you think you can carry out the transition without Hopkins?"_

"Yes sir, I can handle the situation solo."

_"Good, I need your partner on another case. When he wakes can you inform him his is required back here?"_

"Yes sir and he is due to wake at 1100 hours."

_"Okay, I'll leave it in your capable hands Erin and speak to you at the next check in."_

"Yes sir."

Erin returned the phone to her belt and reached for her Glock 24 in the holster tucked under the back of her black polo shirt when there was a knock on the front door. She ran to the kitchen and motioned for Alex to go into her bedroom and wait.

Alex didn't hesitate to comply, understanding the look of urgency etched on the face of the Deputy.

Going to the entrance and peeking through the spy hole, Erin recognised the woman in her mid-sixties as Mrs Irene Calder, the next door neighbour.

Holstering her gun, Erin calmly opened the door, "Hello, can I help you?"

"Oh hello dear, I'm Irene Calder from next door. I saw the lights on last night and thought I'd welcome you to the neighbourhood." She handed over a plate of home baked cookies, "I won't bother you because I know you'll be busy settling in."

"That's very kind of you Mrs Calder. I'm Erin, but I'm only here helping my cousin Emily move in."

"Oh then I look forward to meeting her another time. If you need anything, don't be a stranger."

"Thank you for your hospitality Mrs Calder."

"You are welcome dear, goodbye."

"Bye."

Erin secured the door then placed the biscuits on the counter. She went and rapped on Alex's door, "You can come out now."

Alex opened the door, "Thank you."

Turning heel, Erin went to the refrigerator and retrieved a bottle of water.

Minutes later Alex finished her coffee then joined Erin in the living room. She was carrying the dossier and passed it to Erin, "I guess we better get on with it."

-0-

Lewis departed in a taxi a little after 1130 hours and a 1990 Honda Civic was dropped off in the drive ten minutes later.

Erin went outside and spoke to the tow truck driver then handed the keys over to Alex, "I know it's nowhere near as nice as your BMW, but your new salary doesn't allow for luxury items."

"I'm sure I'll adapt Deputy."

The two women returned to work and took a break for lunch an hour later. Alex volunteered to make sandwiches while Erin checked in with Lewis.

For the next three days Alex went over her new background time and time again before she felt confident.

Erin noted the sadness on Alex's face after dinner and remarked, "It's hard to leave a lover behind."

Alex put down the file and locked eyes with her guardian, "It breaks my heart every day I'm without her."

"For that, I am truly sorry." Erin stood, "If you'll excuse me, it's time for my security checks."

Alex and Erin fell into a comfortable routine and by the second week, Alex's new identity was put to the test when Mrs Calder invited the pair to dinner.

After being introduced to her husband Walter, the questions began.

"You're not from England then Emily?" asked Irene.

"No. Erin's father, my Uncle George, was on holiday in Europe when he was twenty and met his future wife in London."

Erin continued with the remainder of the story, "It was love at first sight and they had a whirlwind romance and my father ended up living in England for several years. They married a short time later and two years on, I arrived."

"That's a wonderful tale," declared Irene. "Do they live in Tulsa too?"

"No, they are both deceased."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry dear."

"It was a long time ago."

Alex caught sight of the tears in Erin's eyes and changed the topic, "You have a lovely home Irene."

"Thank you. Since Walter retired from the Navy last year, we've had time to renovate. If you don't mind me asking, what did you do to your arm?"

Alex glanced down at the sling, "Oh, I was clumsy while packing and managed to dislocate my shoulder when I fell off a stepladder."

Walter grimaced, "That's a painful injury; I've suffered it myself." He went on to share his many career adventures and the evening drew to a close at eleven.

Alex went straight to bed while Erin carried out her usual sweep of the house and yard before settling on the couch. She was still wide awake when Alex tiptoed into the kitchen some sixty minutes later.

She was wearing a light blue satin nightgown and Erin watched her graceful movements for several seconds before saying, "I'm not asleep and even if I was, I'm a light sleeper."

Alex fetched a bottle of water and walked over to Erin, "Aren't you tired?"

"Yes."

Alex looked down at the Deputy, "I know it's not a good idea for you to disclose any personal details, but I saw the pain in your eyes at dinner. You've lost your parents, right?"

Erin's reply was a soft whisper, "Yes, back in 1991."

"Apart from the names, that was a true story you told Irene and Walter?"

"Yes, it's easier for the emotion to be genuine if I recall an actual experience."

Alex perched herself on the armrest of the couch, "You must have been a teenager when it happened."

"You should go to bed Emily," suggested Erin unwilling to cross the professional line and divulge any more information. She was on the job and was not going to have a friendly conversation, even if she felt the urge to tell the woman everything.

With resignation, Alex sighed, "Yes I should and sorry for putting you in an awkward position."

"That's fine; just remember this is work for me."

Standing, Alex agreed, "I know how the lines can become blurred sometimes, goodnight Deputy."

"Goodnight Emily."

Erin pulled the sheet up over her head and recited the U.S. Marshals motto of justice, integrity and service over and over to eliminate the desire to be friends with her primary. Exhaustion finally won out and she drifted into a light sleep.

-o-


	2. Chapter 2

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 2

**20 Grant Street, Wausau, Wisconsin**

**3****rd**** November 2003**

**Chung chung**

The day before Alex was due to commence work, Erin tested her knowledge and was impressed with the responses.

"You've nailed every question Emily. I'd say you're more than equipped to proceed."

"Thank you and I doubt I would have done so well without your patience and tutelage."

Uneasy with the compliment, Erin got off the couch and went to make dinner.

Alex joined her and set the table. She collected a bottle of red wine from the pantry and poured herself a glass.

"I'll be leaving at the end of the week," announced Erin.

"I'll miss your company," admitted Alex truthfully. "I've definitely grown very comfortable with your presence."

Not showing any reaction to the admission, Erin asked, "I don't usually make the offer, but is there anything you'd like me to do for you when I return to New York?"

Dark blonde brows arched, "Why would you do that?"

"Because I'm an idiot and feel the need to make this relocation easier on you."

Alex reached out and gripped Erin's left arm briefly, "I appreciate it, but I wouldn't want to jeopardise your career."

Erin skipped right past the comment and pressed on regardless, "Detective Olivia Benson is mentioned as your partner in your file."

"Oh, I guess my goodbye to her let the cat out of the bag."

"It did and I appreciate how difficult it has been for you." Erin made the final touches to the pasta dish and handed Alex a plate, "Olivia has called in all her favours and tried to locate you."

"Shit, I don't know whether to be happy or angry with her. I told her to let go of me and move on."

"She doesn't appear to have taken that advice. Fortunately, she didn't get anywhere with her enquiries and I have to speak to her when I return."

"So you want to know if I have a message for her?"

"Yes."

Alex sat at the counter and drank the last of her wine, "Will you be honest with me?"

"Yes."

"How long do you think I'll have to endure being Emily?"

"At least a year at best, it will take that long before any investigation into who it was Velez ordered to do the hit on you will conclude, then go before the courts."

"Thank you and tell Olivia I love her and still don't want her to wait. I can't expect her to put her life on hold in the hope I may one day be free to return to New York."

"All right, I can to that for you."

Both women ate in silence, consumed by their own inner turmoil.

An hour passed and Alex emptied the bottle of wine before staggering off to bed. Erin shook her head and retired to the couch for the evening.

A short time later she sprang to her feet and grabbed the gun from under the pillow when she heard a thud in Alex's room. Barging through the doorway, she stopped when she turned on the light and saw Alex in a heap on the floor.

"Are you okay?" she asked while reaching down and helping Alex to her feet.

"Yes, I'm a little drunk and wanted to use the bathroom."

"I'll lend you a hand."

"Okay, do you have any siblings?" blurted out Alex as she moved into the hall.

"No, I am an only child."

"I am too."

"I know; it was in your file." Erin opened the bathroom door, "There you go."

Alex stumbled past her, "Thanks, I'll be fine from here."

"I'll wait outside and make sure."

Closing the door, Alex attended to her needs and re-emerged minutes later, "You don't smile and are always serious."

"That's because I'm on the job." Erin grasped Alex's elbow and led her back to her room, "Here you are."

"I'd like to see what you are like off the job," admitted Alex as she crawled into bed.

"I'm as funny as a barrel of monkeys," remarked Erin deadpan. "Now go to sleep."

"Yes Deputy."

Erin was trying not to laugh as she closed the bedroom door.

-0-

Erin kept surveillance on Alex for the next week at a discrete distance as the former ADA started to settle into her new occupation.

On Saturday morning she bid Alex goodbye with strict instructions of the correct protocol to follow if she felt in danger or her cover was in any way compromised.

The Deputy was back at the Southern District of New York Office by noon and filed her latest field report without delay.

Afterwards, she caught up with Lewis, his wife Millie and their two boys, Joseph and Tyrone.

Sunday was spent doing housework and laundry before going on a ten mile run. While on assignment in Wisconsin, Erin had missed her workouts and was now making up for lost opportunities.

-0-

Alex continued to ease into her new career, but began to feel homesick and lonely two weeks later. It was Saturday morning November twenty second when Erin phoned to advise her she was at the airport and would be at the house shortly.

Alex felt a wave of anticipation wash over her. She had missed the brooding Deputy and was eager to tell her about the new job.

She raced to the door when she heard a car pull into the drive a short time later. Waiting patiently, she looked through the peephole and opened the door when she saw Erin on the other side.

"Hello Deputy Taylor," she said while motioning for Erin to step inside.

"Hello Emily," replied the brunette. She was carrying a travel bag, "I hope you don't mind, but I'll be staying for two days."

Alex smiled congenially, "It will be good to have the company and will prevent Mrs Calder from trying to set me up with her son."

Moving forward, Erin tried not to titter, "I'll take my gear through to the spare room then you can tell me how you've been doing."

"That will take all of ten minutes; I live a very quiet life."

"We'll discuss that in a minute." Erin offloaded her bag and returned to find Alex in the living room sitting on the couch.

The Deputy took off her black leather jacket and draped it over the back of the armchair before sitting down.

"Before you ask," pre-empted Alex. "Work is as boring as all hell and I'm lonely for my old life."

"You do realise it's okay to socialise," suggested Erin. "You don't have to hide away in the house. You have to live your life and not obsess about being in danger from Velez."

"I'm well aware of that, but this is so far removed from who I used to be. I can't stop thinking like an Attorney or expect to wake up from the nightmare."

"I wish it was different, but as time goes by it does became easier." Erin turned to her jacket and retrieved an envelope, "I spoke to Olivia and she asked me to give you this letter. When you've read it, please secure it in a safe place. No names are mentioned, but she wanted to say goodbye properly." Handing it over, Erin then stood, "I'll give you some privacy while I report in."

Alex's tears flowed freely, "Thank you." With shaking hands, she opened the satchel and withdrew the correspondence.

_**I understand your desire to protect me and to stop**_

_** me from holding onto hope. **_

_**Because of my love for you, I will release you. **_

_**Although my heart is broken, I realise I can't keep**_

_** you from finding your own happiness in the future.**_

_**I want you to be safe and out of harm's way and **_

_**will not jeopardise your new life by making further **_

_**enquiries.**_

_**You will be forever in my heart and I will treasure **_

_**our three years together. I wish you love and inner**_

_** peace.**_

_**Farewell my darling,**_

_**Love always,**_

_**O**_

Alex's chest tightened and the ache was unbearable as her inhalation shortened and she was forced to gulp for air.

Erin appeared with a glass of water and knelt in front of her knees, "Slow your breathing and take small sips."

Alex did as directed and several minutes later her heart rate levelled out, "You must be tired of seeing me at my worst?"

"I wish I could be more supportive."

"You've been very helpful Erin."

Standing up, the Deputy enquired, "How about I take you out for some fresh air and buy lunch?"

Alex wiped her eyes dry, "Is that protocol?"

"It's comes under the banner of adjustment therapy."

A small smile graced Alex's face, "Well, you're the expert."

Erin grinned, "Unfortunately that is true."

"Give me a moment to freshen up."

-0-

Erin took Alex to a local diner and asked about her work. The Marshall giggled at the funny stories and offered sympathy at the appropriate times.

Later, Erin surprised Alex with two tickets for a concert at the Performing Arts Centre.

When the pair arrived home, Alex hung up her coat and looked at Erin, "Was this evening part of normal protocol too?"

Smirking, Erin put her overcoat on the hook, "No, that was my way of showing you another side of me and to prove that it's okay to be out and about."

Alex gave her a warm smile, "I appreciate your thoughtfulness and I prefer this version of you. Would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks."

"All right then, thank you for a wonderful evening and I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Emily."

Erin prepared for bed with the knowledge she would probably have to arrange with Lewis to conduct the next visit to allow herself time to adjust and take a step back. She had already crossed the line twice now for her primary with the intention to make it easier on Alex to adapt, but professionally it was no excuse. There was no denying she was enormously attracted to the ex-ADA and that would only lead to career and integral suicide.

Wrestling with her emotions, Erin took some time before finding sleep and relief from the turmoil she was guilty of creating for herself. Although resigned to the fact she had to reschedule her return to New York, Erin made a call to the airline company and changed her flight details. She left Alex's house three hours earlier than planned and basically compartmentalised her feelings for the woman that had become an important fixture in her life.

-o-


	3. Chapter 3

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 3

**1820 hours 3****rd**** January, 2004**

**20 Grant Street, Wausau**

**Chung chung**

Against her better judgement, it was the third day of January when Erin returned to Wausau. She was happy to see Alex was more relaxed and no longer openly displayed signs of sadness or depression. The Deputy was only staying for two hours and was relieved when Alex confided she now had a social life which included becoming friends with several people from work.

"I missed you during the last check-in," confessed Alex as she led Erin to the front door after the assessment.

Averting the other woman's eyes, Erin explained, "Uhm, that's why I sent Lewis."

Alex tittered, "So, I didn't misinterpret the signs then?"

"No and for me to say anything else would be totally unprofessional. Lewis will be your contact from now on, but I wanted to tell you in person."

"I'm disappointed I won't be seeing you. Your visits have been the highlight of the past three months."

Erin grinned for a split second, "Thanks, but you need to realise nothing is going to happen on my behalf."

"I'm fully aware of that Erin and thank you for everything you have done for me."

"I was only doing my job."

Alex leaned in and wrapped her arms around the brunette, "You're someone very special and when all this crap is over, I'm going to call you with the full intention of getting to know you better."

Erin returned the embrace with a challenge, "I may beat you to the punch."

"Be safe Deputy Taylor."

"You too Emily and I wish you the best of luck with everything."

Erin pulled out of the clinch and opened the door. Getting into the taxi, she asked the driver to take her to Wausau Airport. She was due to board a plane for Houston in an hour's time. When the opportunity of an eight month secondment with the Fugitive and Apprehension Team became available, Erin had applied and was successful. She was looking forward to returning to an investigative role and leaving behind the WitSec program for a short time.

After losing a small percentage of her integrity with Alex Cabot, she was relieved to be going to a position that would occupy her time more often and give her less opportunity to think about the attractive former ADA from Manhattan.

-0-

Her apartment on Hadley Street was small, but Erin wasn't concerned as she planned on only using it for the purposes of sleep and the occasional day off.

After settling in and unpacking, Erin walked to PJ's Sports bar three minutes away on West Gray Street. She sat at the counter and ordered a meal along with a bottle of Budweiser. The beer was the first she'd partaken of in over a year and she thoroughly enjoyed the cold fluid while watching a baseball game on the large television screen above the bar counter.

Before her dinner arrived, a tall blond with a crew cut wearing jeans, a checked shirt and carrying a black cowboy hat sat down beside Erin and said, "You must be a visitor to town, I know all the pretty women around these parts, but have never seen you in here before."

Erin nearly choked on her beer, "Oh mate that has got to be the worst pick up line I have ever heard."

A cheesy grin greeted her stare, "I've had no complaints before. Can I buy you a drink and that accent is real cute?"

Erin shook her head, "No thanks, I prefer my own company."

"Maybe I could show you around town."

"I don't think so and I'm not here for a vacation."

Blond brows rose up in question, "The name's Mark, what's yours?"

"Listen, I'm not interested in idle chit chat. I'm just here to enjoy a meal and have a quiet drink on my own without interruption."

"That's why I'm here except for the alone part. I thought I could combine the two with a pretty lady."

Mercifully, Erin's food arrived, "Looks like you're out of luck. I'm sure someone else would find that offer appealing, but not me. So, can you please leave me alone?"

Undeterred, Mark continued, "You know honey, I just might be the guy of your dreams."

"Persistent bugger, aren't you?" Erin was not in the mood to have her plan disrupted, "And I can assure you that statement is far from the truth."

"Come on, I'm a nice guy. So, what do you do for a living?"

Erin stood up from the stool and waved to the bartender, "Could I trouble you to have my meal put in a takeaway container?"

"Sure, that's not a problem."

Mark the cowboy didn't take the hint well, "You leaving on account of me?"

"I certainly am and thanks for reminding me why I don't frequent bars that often."

"Whoa there little lady," he started to protest.

"I'm taller than you mate and definitely no lady when it comes to defending myself. I've seen this act before a hundred times and wasn't impressed then either."

The bartended returned and handed Erin her dinner, "There you go."

Mark rose to his feet, put his hand on Erin's elbow and offered, "I'll walk you to your car."

Erin turned around and calmly stated, "Please remove your hand and I've already told you I'm not interested."

Tightening his grip, the cowboy with no clue retorted, "You know, lots of women would be thrilled to have my attention."

Erin placed the container on the counter, "Remove your hand now or I'll do it for you."

Mark grinned at the suggestion, "I doubt you're capable and I like my women with a little fire in their bellies."

Erin gripped his wrist and had him bent over the counter before he could react. His right arm was pulling at the shoulder blade and Erin had control over the restraining hold, "You're an idiotic predator and bully. You need to learn the meaning of the word no."

The bartender raced over, "Do we have a problem here ma'am?"

"No," answered the brunette as she released the clench, picked up her meal then headed for the door.

She was one block from the bar when she heard footsteps behind her. Pulling out her cell phone, she called Houston PD and requested a patrol car to her location. Reattaching the phone to her belt, she stopped walking and turned around.

Mark was only five feet away and leering at her, "You think you are going to get away with that? I'm an FBI Agent and can arrest you for that shit."

"If that's the case, show me your ID and shield."

"I don't have them on me."

"Well isn't that bloody convenient. Tell me, who is your Assistance Director?"

"I don't need to tell you shit, but I'll let it slide if you have a drink with me."

With hands by her side, Erin asked, "Let me get this straight. You've identified yourself as a Federal Agent and tried to hit on me at the bar then manhandled me when I refused. Now you're telling me you'll forget it if I have a drink with you?"

The cowboy grinned with an air of arrogance, "Yup that sounds about right."

"Oh good; I didn't want there to be any confusion," explained Erin while putting her dinner on a nearby bus stop bench.

With a lopsided grin, Mark enquired, "Your place or mine?"

"Neither," answered Erin as she retrieved her identification wallet from the back pocket of her jeans. Flipping it open, she continued, "I am a Deputy U.S. Marshal and you are under arrest for assaulting and stalking a Federal Agent. Up against the wall and lock your fingers behind your head you daft bastard. You are also under arrest for impersonating a Federal Agent."

"You are shitting me. How about I just walk away? You won't stop me."

"I'll chase you if I have to, but the officers from the South Central Division pulling up behind you in the patrol car may get a little angry if they have to run."

Realising his avenue for escape had just taken a nonnegotiable nose dive; Mark yielded and turned to face the building front.

Erin moved in behind him and requested a pair of handcuffs from the older of the two officers when they joined her.

-0-

Two hours elapsed before Erin finally made it home from the police station at 2202 St. Emanuel Street and after reheating her steak and vegetables, she grabbed a bottle of beer and sat at the kitchen counter and ate.

Enjoying the silence, her thoughts turned to Alex and how much she would miss their assessments. Laughing out loud at the silly notion; she quickly cleaned up the kitchen then prepared for bed.

As Erin turned off the bedside lamp seven minutes later, Lewis called her cell phone. "Hey Lew," she answered.

_"Hi Erin, sorry to call so late, but I wanted to make sure you settled in okay."_

"Yes, I'm squared away and thanks for the check-up."

_"Well expect a few calls while you're there."_

"You trying to tell me you'll miss me?"

_"Hell yes. I'm partnered with Farrell during your absence."_

Erin tittered briefly, "At least you're the senior Deputy and can boss him around."

Lewis chuckled at the comment, _"That does ease the pain somewhat."_

"How are Millie and the boys?"

_"They are just great. Tyrone asked if he can come visit you so he doesn't forget what you look like."_

Erin giggled at the image, "You tell him he is more than welcome any time."

_"Millie told him you were going to be busy and just look at your picture frame when he gets lonely."_

Guffawing loudly, Erin asked, "How'd he take that suggestion?"

_"He dropped his bottom lip and said the picture couldn't hug him or buy him ice cream."_

Wiping away a tear from her eyes, Erin stopped laughing, "That boy of yours is priceless. I wish I could find a woman like that."

_"Speaking of which, a certain person is the real reason you took this transfer, right?"_

"Yes and the fact it looks good on my record when it's time for promotion."

_"The last time I checked in with her, all she did was talk about you."_

"Yeah, classic example of Stockholm syndrome, besides she is doing much better now."

_"It's a shame."_

"Why's that?"

_"You'd make a cute couple."_

"That's enough balderdash out of you."

"_I'm just saying."_

"Yeah, I know what you implied and it is never going to happen."

"_I suppose I better let you get some sleep then."_

"I'll talk to you soon Lew and give my love to your family."

_"I will. Goodnight Erin."_

Before Erin fell asleep, her last conscious thought was of Alex's promise to contact her once she was released from WitSec.

-o-


	4. Chapter 4

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review and toss a little love to the Muse!

* * *

Chapter 4

**Southern District of Texas**

**U.S. Marshal Service**

**515 Rusk Street, Houston**

**Chung chung**

Erin was kept busy for the next two months locating three of Texas' top ten fugitives. Chasing down leads and finally apprehending the last of the trio, Erin had worked every day and managed to eradicate all thoughts of Alex Cabot from her mind.

When she arrived at work March the first, she was introduced to Deputy Annie Frost by her supervisor Tad Malone. Erin took in the attractive blonde's slender, tall frame and shook her hand, "Pleased to meet you Deputy Frost."

"I've been on leave and it sure is nice to have another female in the office."

Six foot, dark haired Malone interjected, "Taylor, I'll leave it up to you to bring Frost up to speed on the Washington case. You two will be working on it together."

"Yes sir." She handed a folder to Annie and got to work. "Nigel Washington AKA Nigel Grace was captured on surveillance camera robbing a store over in Abilene early this morning. Local uniforms lost him during a chase, but it's obvious he has returned home."

Annie studied the file for a moment then commented, "I remember this guy. Murdered his drug trafficking partner then skipped bail only to kill the one witness to his crime."

"That's him. He likes to use a knife and leave horrific wounds."

"Any leads?" enquired the Deputy in her early twenties.

"Yes, I think he'll drop by the ex-girlfriend's place and hide out there until the heat settles. Unis have the house under surveillance, but I think it's only fair we go stake the place out now."

A smile spread across Annie's chiselled features, "Oh, my favourite part of the job."

"Mine too and we can pick up some decent coffee on the way."

"You're buying," suggested Annie as she went to her desk to collect her radio and ear piece.

Erin nodded, "Sure, I'll meet you in the car park. I just have to pick up some extra ammo clips."

-0-

Annie finished the last of her Latté and deposited the container in the centre console cup holder, "How long you been on the job?"

Without taking her eyes off the subject's house, Erin answered, "Seven years and you?"

"Three and Malone mentioned you're on secondment from New York."

"That's correct."

"I like your accent. Where in England were you born?"

"Essex, I moved to New York when I was nineteen. My father was American."

Annie was about to ask another question when she spotted a short male dressed in a black tracksuit hurry along the sidewalk towards Macey Edwards' home.

"That's our boy," declared Erin before making contact with the two Deputies positioned in the adjacent alleyway.

Two minutes later, the four Deputies converged on the house with Erin and Annie taking the front entrance.

As the senior Agent, Erin took the lead and knocked on the door as she identified herself.

Seconds later, twenty-six year old, auburn haired Macey Edwards opened the door and looked bug eyed at the two Deputies.

"He's in the bathroom, second door on the left."

"Thank you ma'am," replied Erin. She passed a folded sheet of paper to the home owner, "That's a Federal warrant to search your house. Can I please ask you to vacate the premises and go stay at the black GMC SUV four houses to your left?"

"Yes and Nigel has a gun and knife. I didn't want him in my house, but he called and told me he was on his way."

"Understood and thank you ma'am."

Erin activated her collar microphone, "Deputies Graves and Sutton, fugitive is in the bathroom, second door to your right. Subject is armed with a gun and a knife. On my mark ... go ... go!"

With weapons drawn, Erin and Annie entered the hallway and Erin hand signalled to Graves and Sutton and indicated she would kick down the door while they covered her.

They both nodded in acknowledgement and Erin rocked back onto the heel of her left foot, raised her right leg and smashed in the wooden frame with her boot.

"U.S. Marshals," she announced while aiming her Glock at the startled man in the shower. "We have a warrant for your arrest."

Annie moved in beside Erin and slid back the glass screen door.

"Hands up where we can see them Washington," instructed Erin.

Washington complied, "Enjoying the view ladies?"

"Step out and dry yourself," directed Erin.

Grinning broadly, the thirty year old male strutted out of the stall and causally reached for a towel on a nearby rack.

Erin detected the man's rising excitement and gave directions over her shoulder, "Sutton, take my position. Graves take Frost's."

Once the Deputies had exchanged places, Erin turned to Annie in the corridor and remarked, "That will make for a good report."

"Yeah and you didn't need to get me out of there. His small standing ovation didn't offend me."

Erin's right brow arched up, "I removed us so the bozo couldn't slap us with a sexual harassment complaint."

A cheeky smile graced Annie's features, "Oh, I just thought you were looking out for my virtue."

Erin grinned, "I doubt that's possible."

The banter was interrupted when a handcuffed and fully dressed Washington was escorted out of the bathroom.

Sutton handed Erin three evidence bags, "There's his weapons and twelve hundred dollars. He hid them in the cabinet under the sink."

"Good work, get him back to the office and I'll take a statement from Miss Edwards."

"See you there."

-0-

By 1720 hours Washington had been interviewed, booked and held in lockup to await arraignment the following morning.

Erin was finishing up her paperwork when she noticed Annie talking to Assistant U.S. Attorney Michelle Lawnton. She detected the intimacy of their closeness and smirked when Annie strolled over towards her desk moments.

"It's nice to see you are on friendly terms with the AUSA."

Annie collected her car keys from a drawer, "We used to date and Michelle is now seeing a doctor. You want to grab a drink and some dinner?"

"Sure, I could do with a beer after Washington's dancing penis act."

Annie burst out laughing, "I can't believe the imbecile asked you out during the interview."

"Sutton and Graves are still chuckling over it. What bar do you want to go to?"

"What about Lucky's Pub?"

"Sounds good to me, I just have to hand over my report to Malone first."

"No problem, I'll meet you downstairs."

"You got it."

-0-

Erin was halfway through her second beer when Annie asked, "Are you seeing anybody?"

"No, it's been a while and I like it that way."

"That sounds pretty boring and a waste."

Shaking her head, Erin explained her rationale, "I'm only here for another six months, so it wouldn't make sense to date."

"Oh, so you're not into casual arrangements then?"

"No."

"I bet you get plenty of offers though?"

Erin smirked at the question, "I do."

"You want another beer?"

Erin held up her hand, "No thanks, two is my limit and it's time for home."

"Good thinking, I'll settle the check. You can get the next one."

"Thanks Annie."

"You're welcome."

Three minutes later, the two women were walking to their cars and Erin unlocked her Ford Explorer before turning to Annie, "I'll see you in the morning."

"No you won't; I've got court testimony and probably won't be at the office until lunch time."

"Okay, see you then, bye."

"Goodnight Erin."

-0-

Erin and Annie worked closely together over the next two months and on May fifth, the pair found themselves in Lexington Kentucky. They were following a lead on information received from the local police department that fugitive Roy Elms, who was wanted for terrorist acts, was seen visiting his mother.

The initial search came up empty and the two Deputies were currently positioned outside Sharon Elm's modest two bedroom house.

Annie glanced at her watch before commenting, "Thank crap our relief will be here in ten minutes, I'm exhausted."

"I hear you; it's been a long night." Erin suddenly sat up straight, "There he is. Let's get him before he enters the house."

"I'll take the left," suggested Annie as the duo alighted from the car and quickly approached the house.

As Roy Elms put the key into the front door lock, Erin announced, "U.S. Marshals, Roy Elms we have a warrant for your arrest. Get your hands up where we can see them."

"Fuck!" exclaimed Elms while jumping over the railings.

"I don't have a shot," declared Annie as Erin gave chase.

Annie followed closely behind.

Erin hurled herself over a fence and landed on top of Elms. As they both crashed to the ground, Elms clutched at his left ankle and swore.

Hearing Annie approach to the wooden fence, Erin yelled out, "LOOK OUT BELOW."

Annie stopped at the top and looked down, "Guess I better call for a bus."

Erin Mirandised Elms while handcuffing him then got to her feet and dragged him upwards by his left arm.

The ponytailed Frost lowered herself off the fence as Erin was frisking the fugitive. She helped Erin haul the escapee to the front yard and phoned for an ambulance.

"At least you had a soft landing," she quipped before speaking to the operator.

Elms stood on one leg and whined, "I think it's broken."

"More than likely and that's what you get for running away," deadpanned Erin.

"Yeah, well it took you three months to find me."

"Actually, it only took us two days," corrected Annie with an absence of bravado. "We just took on your case."

"So who ratted me out," queried Elms.

"We are not at liberty to disclose that information," replied Erin gruffly. "And stop pulling on my arm."

"Hey, I'm just trying to keep from falling over."

Tightening her grip on Elm's arms, Erin suggested, "I'm going to ease you down to the ground."

"Okay, ah shit that hurts," complained Elms as he sat on the lawn.

Moments later two Paramedics arrived and after examining Elms' ankle, one declared it was fractured.

Erin rode in the back of the ambulance while Annie drove their SUV to the hospital.

After notifying the local police captain of Elms' capture, Erin organised for their prisoner to be held at the station until his transportation flight back to Houston in the morning.

-0-

**Lexington, Kentucky**

**6****th**** May, 2004**

**Chung chung**

It was ten past two in the morning when Annie pulled into the parking bay of the Holiday Inn hotel, "I'm starving. How you would you like to join me in my room for some room service?"

"If that offer includes a cold beer, you can count me in?"

The duo got out of the SUV and headed directly to Annie's room. When she opened the door, she enquired, "What do you feel like?"

"I'm happy with a cheese burger and fries. I'll just go back to my room and shower."

"Okay, I'll order."

Erin returned wearing a dark blue service tee shirt and basketball shorts. Annie had showered and was dressed in a Houston Texans football jersey and white cotton briefs. Erin stared at the shapely legs then swiftly looked away.

"Food will be here shortly," announced Annie while withdrawing two beers from the bar fridge. Handing one over, she added, "So that's what you look like underneath your work clothes, very nice Deputy Taylor."

Looking down at herself, Erin blushed, "Thank you." She took a drink and felt blue eyes focus on her.

"You do realise I'm very attracted to you, don't you?" queried Annie.

"No," replied Erin honestly.

"Well I am, but I know enough about you to know you won't cross that line."

Erin put her beer on the counter, "Annie, you're a very good looking woman and you are right, I won't fraternise with a co-worker. I've made that mistake before and it turned to shite in a big way."

"What happened?"

"It was three years ago with a woman in my team. I resisted her for weeks, but after a case went south and resulted in the death of a team mate, we sought comfort in each other's arms. We ended up sleeping together and the next day she couldn't look at me."

"Oh that's a shame."

"It turned out she had a girlfriend she conveniently forgot to mention and had a sudden attack of the guilts."

"So she cheated?"

"Yes and I was clueless until she confessed it all to me two days later."

"Damn."

"She ended up transferring out and moving with the girlfriend."

"Well I can relate to your reluctance to date a fellow Deputy."

"It's just not that Annie. I've four months left with the unit and it would be wrong to get involved with you."

Annie stepped in closer, "Erin, I'm not seeking a long term commitment."

"I don't do casual, that's just not me and you are aware of that. I like to date first then progress from there."

"Fair enough and I'll put my desire for you away."

Erin rolled her eyes, "That's not playing fair."

Moving in, Annie placed her hands on the other woman's hips, "I'm single and not interested in a relationship at the moment. I am however, extremely engrossed in you."

"I'm flattered, but not available for what you want."

Annie's voice lowered, "What I want is to be with you at this precise moment in time."

"Don't ruin our work relationship by doing what you plan," warned Erin before stepping back.

There was a knock on the door and Annie shrugged her shoulders, "I guess you're right."

"I know I am; besides I don't want the added pressure of looking out for you during work."

"Okay you win and I apologise."

"It's fine, but now that we have an understanding, can we eat?"

Annie laughed and headed to the door, "Coming right up."

-0-

Despite the underlying sexual tension from Annie, Erin continued to work well with the constantly flirtatious Deputy and as May gave way to June, the two women found themselves up to their elbows in a standoff between two drug cartels in Miami.

Four Houston Marshals, including Erin and Annie, had chased down the whereabouts of a fugitive wanted for four murders, arms dealing and drug supplying, to Florida four days earlier.

The search led them to Miami and cooperation with FBI Agents investigating the fugitive's rival in drug trafficking.

The Marshals, six FBI Agents and ten Miami-Dade police officers were currently trading fire with Juan Valens and his ten offsiders along with Jackson Poole and his gang of twelve.

The gun battle was taking place in an old abandoned warehouse that Valens had commandeered as his drug factory.

Erin and Annie were pinned down behind a storage crater by heavy gunfire coming from above them on a catwalk.

Deputies Wallace and Cruz were to their right and drawing their own fire exchange.

There was a brief lull in the trade and Erin realised the men above them were reloading. She bounced up and aimed for the first of six shooters. He tumbled down the ramp as she fired off two more rounds.

Annie and the other two Deputies followed suit and disposed of the remaining five.

Clear to progress to the section where the FBI Agents and police officers were positioned, the Deputies hurried through the maze of containers and drug production tables.

"We need to get to higher ground," suggested Annie.

Running to the nearest stairwell, the Marshals crept along the platform and into the next room. They were greeted by a volley of bullets until Cruz took out the culprit.

Advancing through the doorway, the Deputies halted and surveyed the situation.

"Wallace, you're with me," instructed Erin. "We'll flank the hostiles while Frost and Cruz continue along the walkway."

Once Erin and Wallace were closer to the action, they opened fire as did Annie and Cruz. Creating a diversion, it allowed the Agents and officers the freedom to move in and confront the perps.

Erin spotted an attacker take aim at Wallace and quickly dove to her left and fired. The assailant went down, but not before discharging his rifle. Erin felt the bullet tear into her right thigh and fell to her knees.

Wallace was by her side instantly, "Taylor, how bad?"

In reply, Erin steeled herself against the pain and stood up, "I can walk, let's move."

Within ten minutes, the firing had ceased and Juan Valens was taken into custody along with four surviving gunmen.

-0-

Once she was outside the building, Erin made her way over to a Paramedic and sat down on the rear step of the ambulance, "I took one to the leg. It's a through and through, so can you just patch me up?"

The dark haired medic cut through the open hole in Erin's fatigue trousers and examined the entry wound, "You're going to need a little more than a Band-Aid. You're bleeding heavily and require suturing."

"Great," snapped Erin disdainfully. "I just love hospitals."

After speaking with Wallace, Erin was transported to Dade General. X-rays revealed a fracture to the femur that required surgery and there was also damage to veins and muscle.

"Is there anybody you'd like us to notify Deputy?" enquired the ER nurse.

"Yes please, my best friend Lewis Hopkins. His number is speed dial number two on my cell phone."

"Okay, we are taking you up to theatre now."

"Can you tell Lewis not to worry or rush down here?"

"I can, just relax and let those pre-op meds take effect."

"Yes ma'am."

As she started to drift off, Erin thought of Alex and wondered if she'd ever see the beautiful blonde again.

-0-

A deeply groggy Erin opened her eyes to see Annie, Wallace and Cruz sitting around her bed. "Hi," she said with a wave.

"How you feeling?" asked the blonde with a grin.

"Rather good, I gather that's the drugs."

Malcolm Wallace smiled, "They gave you the good stuff."

"Yeah, so let's have a SitRep Cruz."

Eldon moved his chair closer, "One of the crew gave up Valens and is willing to testify."

"For exchange in WitSec no doubt," queried a tired Erin.

"Yes, Malone and AUSA Lange signed off on the deal this afternoon."

Erin's eyes widened at the news, "What time is it?"

"It's 1839 hours Wednesday," answered Malcolm.

"Bloody hell, I've been out a whole day?"

"Yes, but you are doing well," replied Eldon. "The doctor said you'd be allowed to fly back to Houston in two weeks."

"Bugger."

"We fly out with Valens in two hours," explained Malcolm. "In fact, we better be on our way. Take care and see you soon."

Standing, Malcolm leaned over and kissed Erin's cheek, "Thanks for saving my butt yesterday."

"Don't mention is, but you do owe me a beer."

"You got it, see you soon." He left the room with Eldon.

Erin turned her head to Annie, "You've been awfully quiet."

"I was worried about you," she confessed while getting to her feet.

"I'm fine and will see you soon."

Annie bent down and kissed Erin's lips, lingering for a split second, "I'll visit you when I can."

"Uhm yeah, have a good flight home."

"Get some sleep Erin, bye."

Erin watched Annie leave as a doctor and nurse entered the room.

"Hello, I'm Doctor McIntyre. How are you feeling?"

"Tired and relieved to be okay."

"That's to be expected after significant blood loss and lengthy surgery."

"What's the prognosis?"

"Well, you'll be off your feet for two weeks to give your leg bone time to knit without any pressure then I'll remove the rods and frame and you'll be plastered up. You can go home to Houston at that time."

"How soon before I can walk?"

"You'll be assessed at Texas Orthopaedic Hospital on June thirtieth then hopefully begin physiotherapy at that time. After that you should be back to work within two weeks as long as there are no complications."

"Thank you Doctor McIntyre."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Actually, can you pass me the cards off the flowers so I know who sent them?"

"Of course I can."

The doctor collected the envelopes from the five bouquets and handed them over, "I'll check in with you in the morning."

"Okay and thanks again."

Making a notation to the medical chart, McIntyre exited the room while the nurse stayed behind and carried out the Obs.

Erin opened the first card and saw it was from the Southern District Office. The next was from the Houston Office. The third was from Lewis and family and the forth from Annie. Erin smiled at the short note for a speedy recovery then gasped as she opened the last card.

_**Dearest Erin,**_

_**I was saddened to receive news of your injury.**_

_**If you require a quiet place to recuperate I **_

_**have two spare rooms available.**_

_**Get well soon,**_

_**Fondest regards,**_

_**Emily xx**_

"Jesus," whispered Erin as a sharp pain stabbed at her chest. The long repressed feelings for Alex Cabot came hurtling back with all the speed of a rollercoaster and caused Erin's eyes to sting with tears. "Bloody drugs," she mumbled as her phone rang. Reaching for it on the table, she read Lewis' number and answered, "Hello and thanks for the flowers."

_"Hi and how are you?" _

"I'm doing all right and can you explain to me how Emily Johnson knows I'm here?"

_"The hospital called while I was with her for the five month assessment. She saw I was upset and knew it had something to do with you. I swear, I didn't tell her anything Erin."_

"She must have figured it out and offered her place for my recovery."

_"You should take up the invite."_

"I can't do that, it's highly unethical."

_"Oh, who gives a rat's ass? She's obviously interested in you and I know you return that interest."_

"You know why I can't pursue her."

_"Yeah, I do."_

Lewis spent ten minutes talking about his family before Erin grew weary and went to sleep.

-0-

At the end of the following week, Erin was back in her Houston apartment and Annie was visiting her nightly. She drove Erin to Texas Orthopaedic Hospital on Wednesday for her scheduled examination and x-rays and the friends celebrated the encouraging results with a meal cooked by Annie.

"I'm really grateful for all you've done for me," commented Erin as she manoeuvred herself to her front door on crutches to see her guest off.

"I'm just happy you're recovering so well and will be back to work in a month."

"I am too and I'm glad you are seeing Michelle again."

Blonde brows crawled upwards, "How did you know?"

"Eldon told me during his last visit."

Annie smiled brilliantly, "Yeah it is good and we are both happy."

"That's excellent, now get out of here and go see her."

"Okay, see you soon Erin."

"Goodnight Annie." Erin closed the door and made ready for bed."

-0-

After fourteen days of intense physio, Erin limped into the office on July thirteenth minus the bright blue fibreglass cast and was immediately besieged by work colleagues. The next eight weeks flew by and Erin prepared to fly home to New York.

She walked into her apartment late Tuesday night and offloaded her luggage into the main bedroom before flopping onto the mattress. The drinks she's consumed at her farewell caught up to the two beers she'd had on the plane and she suddenly felt very worn-out.

Withdrawing her cell phone from the pocket of her jeans, she called Lewis.

_"Hey Erin, is everything all right?"_

"Yep, I'm a little on the inebriated side, so can you pick me up in the morning?"

After chuckling, Lewis replied, _"Sure, I'll see you at seven-thirty."_

"Thanks Lew, goodnight."

_"Night."_

Erin fell asleep straight away and woke at six-thirty the following morning. She was dressed in denim jeans, boots and dark blue service polo when Lewis picked her up from the front of her apartment building.

"Good morning," she said while buckling up.

"Hey welcome back."

"It's good to be home. What's on the agenda?"

"We have a possible sighting of fugitive Mac Dwyer."

"Oh, that's good. It's about time we caught up with him."

By 1710 hours, Dwyer was safely behind bars and Erin was ready for home. She was walking to the lift with Lewis when Supervisory Deputy Marshal James Bradford approached them.

"Wait up," he said with a wave of his right hand.

"Yes sir," replied Erin and Lewis simultaneously.

"Hopkins, I've just received word that the mother of one your witness' has passed away."

"Oh, who would that be sir?"

"Emily Johnson and she'll need to be informed A-SAP."

Erin turned to her partner, "I can handle the notification for you Lewis; you have your anniversary dinner tonight."

"Thanks, I owe you one."

"Okay Taylor, your flight leaves at 1830 hours. It will be an overnight stay and you'll be flying home at 0900 hours. Come to my office and I'll hand over all the available information."

"Yes sir. I'll see you tomorrow Lewis and have a great night."

"I will and thanks again."

Erin followed her boss into his office and took possession of the e-mail printout, "I'll see you tomorrow sir."

"Sorry I haven't had the chance to talk to you today. How is your leg?"

"Fully recovered apart from a slight limp and that will disappear in time."

"I'm relieved to hear that and have a safe trip."

"Thank you sir."

Erin raced to her locker and changed into a black pants suit and sky blue shirt. She was airborne within sixty minutes and mentally prepared herself to deliver the heartbreaking news to Alex.

-o-


	5. Chapter 5

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 5

**2100 hours 1****st**** September, 2004 **

**Emily Johnson Residence**

**20 Grant Street, Wausau, Wisconsin**

**Chung chung**

Alex turned on the porch light and peered through the peephole. She was surprised to see Erin and was hopeful of receiving good news. When she opened the door, the sullen expression on the Deputy's face dashed that expectation.

"Hi Erin, this is unexpected visit."

"Sorry to arrive unannounced."

"Come on in," offered Alex as she stepped aside. She watched as Erin moved past her with a limp to her right leg.

"Can I trouble you for a drink Emily?"

"Sure, I was just having a red wine, will that do?"

"Yes please."

"I see you have a bag, are you staying the night?"

"Yes, if it's not a bother."

"No it's not and I'm pleased to see you. Go on through to the living room, I won't be long."

Erin got herself comfortable on the couch and waited.

Alex eased down beside her a moment later and handed over a glass.

Taking a sip, Erin put the goblet down on the coffee table and sighed.

"Okay, something is definitely not right," observed Alex. "You never drink alcohol when you visit and I'm not due an assessment. The look on your face tells me it's not good news you've come to deliver, so just get on with it."

Erin reached over and placed her hand on Alex's arm, "It's your mother."

"Oh dear god no," cried Alex in shock.

"She passed away a St Marks Hospital after suffering a heart attack at 1410 hours this afternoon. I'm deeply sorry for your loss."

Alex got to her feet and started pacing the floor, "Fuck, I should have been there for her."

Standing, Erin stood in front of Alex, "There was nothing you could have done. Her maid discovered her in the kitchen and called 911."

"This is entirely all my fault; she died thinking I was dead."

Erin gripped Alex by the shoulders, "You did what was necessary at the time and it wasn't your idea. You protected your mother from Velez's threats."

"A fucking lot of good that did, she's dead anyway. Oh god, my mother is gone."

Erin's heart crumbled as she watched Alex fall apart. She wrapped her arms around the shattered woman and embraced her tightly, "This isn't your doing."

Alex sobbed heavily into shoulder on offer, "I won't be able to go to the service, will I?"

"I'm sorry sweetheart, the DEA have forbidden it."

"Fuckers," wailed Alex as she started to collapse to the floor.

Erin went with her and gently held her to her own chest, "Let it out sweetheart, I know how much it hurts."

Alex pushed back with anger flaring in her eyes, "How could you possibly know how I feel?"

Without reservation, Erin disclosed a part of her personal life, "When my parents and girlfriend were assassinated by a drug cartel boss, I wasn't allowed to attend their funerals either."

Blue eyed resentment diminished, "Oh god Erin, I didn't mean to hurt you with my words."

Erin drew Alex back onto her upper body, "I know you didn't."

Alex cried for twenty minutes before she pulled back and gazed into Erin's deep brown orbs, "Tell me what happened."

Erin dried her own tears and commenced, "My father Peter Greenfield was an FBI Agent working on a case that led him to England. He was attached to the London Branch of the Agency in 1970 to continue with the investigation as his Unsub was thought to be a British citizen."

Taking a breath, Erin continued, "The Unsub was eventually identified as Shawn McGill. McGill was wanted for arms smuggling between the two countries. He was captured trying to flee to France and received twenty years imprisonment. Dad met my mother Juliette four weeks after arriving in London. It was love at first sight and they married six months later. Dad applied to stay in London and I was born in 1972. There were complications with the birth and mom was unable to have any more children."

Alex reached out and traced her fingertips along Erin's jaw line, "I'm sorry."

"My parents doted on me and I had an exceptional childhood. When I turned thirteen I informed them I was gay and they were accepting of my sexuality. The following year, I fell in love with Chelsea Myles. She was the daughter of dad's work colleague and friend Nick."

Unchecked, tears rolled down Erin's face and she paused for a moment, "Five years on McGill was released from prison and he tracked my father down. He broke into our house while Chelsea and her parents were there for dinner. McGill shot us all and I was the only one who survived his onslaught."

She unconsciously touched her left shoulder where she had been shot all those years ago.

Alex gripped her trembling hand and placed it over the scar above her heart, "We have much in common Erin."

"Yes and after the trial I was given a new identity and came to the States. McGill died in prison seven years ago, but by then I'd made a new life for myself here."

"Is that why you became a Deputy Marshal?"

"Yes and it's also the reason why I have to distance myself from you. I know firsthand how dangerous it would be for you if I was traced back to you."

"I understand your reasons. I don't like it, but I accept it. I'm glad you told me about your past and brought me the news of my mother."

"If it was up to me, I would take you to the funeral."

Alex squeezed Erin's hand, "I appreciate your consideration."

"Can we get up now, my right leg is aching?"

"Oh, I forgot about your recent injury." Alex stood and offered her hand.

Erin took it and rose to her feet, "Thanks."

"I need another drink, what about you?"

Erin knew better, but nevertheless, couldn't stop the words from tumbling out, "I need you."

Alex smiled sweetly, "I've waited a long time to hear you say that to me."

"I'm officially off duty and I've wanted to tell you how I feel for a while."

Alex moved into Erin's embrace, "How do you feel?"

"I'm drawn to you. I admire your strength and courage and am attracted to your beauty and intelligence."

Pressing in closer, Alex felt the outline of Erin's badge and gun against her left hip, "I wanted you the night you revealed a little of yourself when you took me out."

"I don't know what the future holds for us, but I can't expect you to be content with a visit from me every five months and the occasional phone call. That's not fair on you."

"Are you comparing yourself to Olivia?"

"Yes."

"I've come to accept the fact you don't cross the line, so I will not ask for anything more than your friendship."

"Thank you Emily and I apologise."

"It's not your fault."

Alex stepped away and picked up the two empty glasses. She returned with them refilled and sat down beside Erin.

"Thank you for the flowers while I was in Miami and I'm curious about how you found out?"

"I called your office two weeks after your last visit and was informed you were on assignment then when Lewis received the call while he was here, the reaction told me it was bad news about you. He is not as adept at covering his feelings as you are. Later that night there was a news report of an unidentified female Deputy U.S. Marshal being injured in the line of duty in Miami."

"So, you just put it all together?"

"Yes and when I sent the flowers I was hoping it would spark a response from you."

With a sly smile, Erin confessed, "I was so tempted."

Alex grinned at the admission and dropped the subject, "Are you hungry?"

"Yes."

"I'll order in some Chinese."

When Alex got up, she lightly traced her hand through Erin's hair.

Erin shivered under the touch and closed her eyes. She moaned when Alex changed direction and unexpectedly straddled her legs.

"I'd never forgive myself if I never kissed you at least one time."

Eyelids fluttered open, "Can you stop at just one kiss?"

"Let's find out, shall we?" challenged Alex huskily before lowering her lips to Erin's.

The kiss was soft and slowly ignited with months of longing. Erin opened her mouth and wrapped her arms around Alex's hips. She allowed the probing tongue entry and was promptly mesmerised.

Her body betrayed her mind as it reacted to the intrusion and began a simmering dance of seduction. After denying herself the pleasure of another woman for over three years, Erin surrendered to the kiss. Her hands caresses up Alex's back and came to a stop at her neck.

Alex groaned as strong fingers massaged the taut muscles of her throat and the heat between her legs rose a hundred degrees. The need to consume the woman underneath her overpowered all her senses as she reached for Erin's jacket lapels. Leisurely, she pushed the coat up and over Erin's shoulders.

Erin moaned as her outer garment was lifted up. She raised her arms and allowed herself to be divested of the material. She returned her hands to Alex's neck and ran her fingers through the soft strands she found there.

Alex's fingers blindly sought out the buttons on Erin's business shirt as her mouth continued to assault the Deputy's lips.

Erin's brain flashed an image of Olivia Benson as she cried and made her promise to protect Alex. The thought was enough to bring her to her senses and dampen her desire. She let go of Alex and pushed her backwards. Locking onto dilated pupils, Erin's voice broke, "That's your one kiss."

Shock registered on Alex's face, "You have got to be kidding me?"

"No Emily, I'm not. If we continue, I'm breaking all the rules and the pledge I made to protect you."

"Jesus Erin, you're not on the job now and you can't deny there is something between us?"

Erin grabbed Alex by the shoulders and lifted her up, "No I can't, but we've discussed our position."

Alex pushed Erin's hands away and stood, "I don't believe this. This nightmare just keeps on getting better. You're nothing but a fucking tease Deputy Taylor."

Getting to her feet, Erin glared at Alex, "Now hold on a minute, you sat on my lap and kissed me; I didn't start this."

"I didn't see you objecting and we both know you are much stronger than me physically."

"It was wrong of me to come here and I apologise."

"Yes, I agree. It was a huge mistake Deputy."

"This is not what I wanted."

"Well, you've done your duty, so just piss off Deputy Do Good."

"Will you just stop with the insults? Think about how it will affect us if we sleep together."

"If there's one thing I've learnt the last eleven months, it's that you have to live for the moment because you don't know what tomorrow will bring."

Erin neared Alex, "That's a good lesson, but I don't want to hide my feelings for you and in this situation, that is exactly what I would have to do. Are you prepared to be out about us?"

Alex pondered the question for a moment before saying, "It wouldn't be allowed and I know you could lose your job."

"Correct."

With her anger cooling, Alex joked, "In that case, I better order dinner and forget all about kissing you again."

Erin smiled and acknowledged, "It was some kind of first kiss though."

"Definitely and hopefully one day there'll be a second one."

"Maybe," replied Erin. "But not at the moment."

Alex smirked, "This really is a crappy state of affairs."

"I agree and wish it was different."

Alex went into the kitchen and placed an order.

"Thirty minutes," she announced while sitting back down on the couch. "Who did you make the promise to?"

"It's not important."

"How do you manage to turn off your feelings?"

"It's not easy Emily, but it was engrained into me at an early age."

"I haven't figured out how to yet."

"I know, but time and distance does help."

"Tell me about your injury."

Erin did then their dinner arrived.

Alex asked about Houston and Erin answered her questions. By the time they'd done the dishes Alex was yawning.

"Time for bed," she declared while grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator. "You want one?"

"No thanks Emily. Do you still go running at six?"

"Yes, some old habits are hard to break."

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"No, the company would be good. What about your leg?"

"It's fine. I started running a week ago without any problems."

Alex smiled, "I usually run eight miles, but I can cut it short if you like?"

"You already have," countered Erin with a grin.

"Oh, so you run more?"

"Yes, between ten and fifteen."

"Good grief."

"Eight is fine for now; I don't want to overdo it. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight Erin."

Erin took her time in going to bed. The confrontation with Alex had unsettled her greatly. Her emotions had always been conflicted about the woman and it took all she had to stop herself from jeopardising her career once again. She laid awake going over the conversation and devising the best option for walking away with her heart and integrity still intact.

-0-

Alex was walking out of a bar with Liv and Elliot when Elliot asked if she needed a cab. She decided it was not far to her apartment and would walk. Alex apologised for being a buzz kill and ending the evening early.

Olivia looked at her with eyes that were asking her if she wanted company, but instead said, "Oh don't be silly. It's late and we've got work in the morning."

Alex noticed the black SUV pass her and stood in shock as a masked gunman started shooting at them. She felt a sharp hot pain pierce the left side of her chest and she fell to the sidewalk as Olivia and Elliot dropped down.

She heard Elliot shouting, "GET DOWN, GET DOWN!"

The gunman yelled to the driver, "GO, GO, GO."

Time slows down for Alex and she is aware of Elliot chasing after the SUV and Olivia calling her name.

Her lover crawls along the concrete path towards her and leans over her. She presses her hand over the gunshot wound, but can't stop the blood from seeping between the webbing of her fingers.

Alex feels the warm fluid flowing over her suddenly cold skin and closes her eyes. She opens them again as Olivia cries out the words _"no"_ over and over again.

_"SOMEBODY CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE! CALL 911 NOW!"_ shouts Olivia. Her tear stained brown eyes focus on Alex, "It's okay Alex. Baby, look at me. It's okay sweetie, stay with me baby. They're coming right now."

Alex stares into her girlfriend's eyes and regrets they didn't have enough time together. She is aware Elliot has joined them and listens to Olivia's words.

"You're going to be okay sweetie. You're going to be okay. Look at me; you're going to be just fine. You're going to be just fine. Now, just stay with me."

Olivia looks to Elliot with tears streaming down her face then looks back to the ADA, "Alex baby, it's okay. Look at me, look at me."

Alex tries to talk, but fades into blackness.

-0-

Erin flew out of bed when she heard Alex scream. Reaching for her weapon and with her adrenalin pumping, she ran to the main bedroom and turned on the light.

Alex was sitting up in bed with her knees pressed against her chest and sobbing heavily.

Without thinking, Erin lowered her gun and approached the bed, "Did you have a nightmare?"

Alex was close to hyperventilating and nodded her head.

Erin sat on the edge of the bed and drew Alex to her chest, "Just take slow breaths. That's it, I've got you."

Alex's racing heart began to even out as she held onto Erin.

"You're safe now, it was just a dream."

"I ... it ... was when ... I ... got shot," stuttered Alex in explanation.

"It's over now and you survived. How often are you having night terrors?"

"Maybe once or twice a week."

"You should have said something earlier."

"I don't want to be sent to a shrink."

"You can't do this on your own. I'll set up an appointment with a Psychiatrist before I leave in the morning. My flight doesn't take off until 1100 hours."

"I suppose it's non-negotiable?"

"Correct, you have enough to deal with." Erin smoothed her hands down Alex's back, "Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?"

"No."

Leaning back, Erin looked at Alex, "So, you want me to leave?"

"Yes, but only so you can go put on a shirt. Although I have to say, your erect nipples pressing into my chest are a pleasant distraction."

Erin looked down, "Oh shite, I didn't realise I was topless."

"I'm certainly not complaining Erin. They're very nice by the way, but I really don't think you need me ogling them."

"In another time and place I'd enjoy this moment. I'll be right back."

"_You bloody idiot,"_ mumbled Erin to herself as she left the room. She returned wearing a white tee shirt and sat down on the bed, "Do you want to talk about your dream?"

"No, I'd rather find out why you were only wearing boxers."

Tagging at her shirt, she explained, "I don't like the feeling of a collar around my neck when I sleep and usually wear a tank top, but I didn't have a clean one in my bag."

"Oh I see," Alex giggled. "Actually, I really did see."

"I'm glad my boobs make you laugh," taunted Erin.

Alex yawned, "I'll be okay now and thanks for the hug and show."

Erin got up, "Goodnight."

"Night."

-0-

Alex made breakfast after the run then prepared for work. "I'll drop you to the airport Erin," she suggested several minutes later while collecting her car keys. She turned and looked at Erin who was dressed in jeans and a navy blue polo. Her star shaped badge was attached to her belt and to the left of her gun holster.

"Good god you make that outfit work," she remarked.

Erin responded with a cheesy grin.

"That doesn't help," chided Alex.

"Come on let's go before I do something totally unprofessional and make us both late."

"I'd like to see that."

"You have an appointment tomorrow at five with Doctor Fry. I left the details on the counter."

"Thank you and seriously, you look great."

Erin stepped into Alex's personal space, "You are beautiful." She cupped her hands over the sides of Alex's face, "You are so wonderful and I want you to find some happiness."

"I could find it with you."

"No, not like this, not here."

Alex nodded, "You better get into the car before I raise the door."

"I'll be putting on my jacket to hide my gun and badge. We don't want people to see you dropping me off with my credentials on display."

"Is it okay if I called you every now and then?"

"Yes, but not from your house phone, use your encrypted cell to call my office. The number is 212 331-7200 extension 421."

Alex repeated the number twice, "Okay, got it."

Erin pulled on a navy blue blazer then hugged Alex before heading to the garage side door.

-o-


	6. Chapter 6

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 6

**20 Grant Street **

**Wausau Wisconsin**

**Chung chung**

Alex was sitting up in bed reading when her cell phone rang. Reaching for it, she answered, "Hello."

_"Hello Emily, it's Erin."_

"Oh hey," rejoiced Alex as she put down the novel.

_"I'm just calling to ask how your session with Doctor Fry went."_

"There are a lot of issues for me to deal with."

_"I'm glad you kept the appointment."_

"I am too, how are you doing?"

_"Good, but busy, I'm actually still at the office. Looks like I'll be pulling an all-nighter."_

"That's too bad."

_"It keeps me out of trouble. Look, I have to go. Take care and I'll talk to you soon."_

"Thanks for the call, bye."

Lewis tapped his partner on the shoulder, "The raid's a go."

"Excellent, let's go."

-0-

Erin called Alex again on Friday October first and waited for an answer.

Alex finally picked up, _"Hello."_

"Hello Emily, Deputy Taylor here. I'm calling to inform you I will be at your residence in half an hour."

_"Okay."_ Alex knew by the formality of the call Erin was probably not alone. _"See you then."_

"Goodbye."

Alex had been expecting Lewis to visit and was pleasantly surprised to be seeing Erin instead. She quickly threw a casserole together and placed it into the oven when she heard a car in the drive.

Once she ascertained it was Erin behind the door, she greeted her with a hug, "It's good to see you."

Erin flinched as arms wrapped around her shoulders, "How have you been?"

Alex leaned back in alarm, "Are you hurt?"

"I have some lacerations and abrasions to my back. It's nothing really."

Alex released her hold, "Oh my god, were you involved in the bombing of the building in Utah? I saw the report on the news."

Erin put down her duffle bag, "Yes, so was Lewis. It was our investigation."

"I'm sorry you lost two Deputies."

"It was unavoidable and their heroic actions saved countless lives."

"How about you get settled Erin, dinner will be ready in an hour."

Erin silently walked down the hall. Shedding her suit, she went to the bathroom and showered. She was dressed in black cotton boxers and a white tank top when she re-joined Alex in the living room.

"So tell me how everything is going?" she enquired while taking a seat.

Alex talked about her sessions with Doctor Fry and work.

"How are the Calders doing?"

"Good, I had dinner with them last night. You look tired Erin?"

"I'm exhausted. It was a long week in Utah."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Thanks, maybe a little later, but not right now."

"How about a beer instead?"

"I'll grab them and I need to file your assessment report first."

Erin came back with two Buds and her laptop. She quickly furbished a detailed statement then closed the computer.

Alex leaned back and examined the exposed skin of Erin's shoulders. The flesh was mottled with small to medium sized cuts, "Do you need to apply any ointment to your back Erin?"

"Yes."

"Go get it and I'll rub some on, I don't want you getting any infections."

Returning with a tube of antiseptic cream, Erin sat down and faced away from Alex. She stripped off her top and held it to her chest.

"Oh dear god Erin, you're back is a mess."

The well-toned shoulders and back were blemished with at least a hundred wounds. Many lacerations criss-crossed each other and Alex tenderly applied the salve and bit her bottom lip while trying not to cry.

"Tell me if I hurt you?"

"I will."

"Did you see a doctor?"

"Yes."

Alex noted the short answers and asked, "Were you given medication?"

"Yes."

"Have you taken any?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Before."

"Before what?"

"I arrived here."

"I assume you were sprayed with shrapnel and debris."

"Yes."

Alex continued to smother the wounds with cream in silence. Erin flinched several times and Alex snapped, "What do I have to say to make you talk to me?"

"Just leave it. I'm here to make sure you are doing okay, not converse with you."

Alex replaced the lid on the tube and placed it on the table, "You're done." She stood up and went into the kitchen. "Why did you come here instead of Lewis?" she inquired while checking the dish in the oven.

Erin put on her shirt and finished her beer, "He couldn't make it."

Alex closed the range door with a thud and returned to Erin, "You are really beginning to frustrate me with all your cryptic replies."

Erin hung her head and tears dropped onto her thighs in a steady stream.

Alarmed, Alex knelt in front of her knees and rested two hands on her legs, "Erin, please talk to me. I thought I was your friend and quite frankly, your behaviour is scaring me."

"Lewis was hurt pretty bad in the blast. Deputies Franks and Jones located the bomb and Lewis and I were running to their location to assist. They'd managed to evacuate the building beforehand. I caught sight of our fugitive just before we reached Franks and Jones. Jones informed us there was only three minutes until detonation. I ordered them to stay and disarm the bomb while Lewis and I gave chase to Hector Gross."

Erin inhaled deeply, "I tackled him moments later and was dragging him to his feet when he said, "_You're out of time."_ I radioed Franks to get out of there when everything came down around us."

"Oh dear god."

"When I came to, the place with in semi-darkness and I was lying on top of Gross. He was unconscious, so I cuffed the bastard to an exposed steel girder and went in search of Lewis. I found him several feet away under some concrete slabs. When help arrived, I went to find Franks and Jones. They were about a hundred yards away and deceased.

Alex placed her finger under Erin's chin and lifted up until she could see her face, "I'm so sorry."

"Lewis is in a coma," stated Erin before sobbing harder. "And it was my direction that killed Franks and Jones."

"Jesus no Erin and it wasn't your fault."

"My best friend's brain was swollen from heavy trauma to his skull and the doctors had to operate."

"Oh baby."

"Bradford ordered me to come here then take three days leave."

"You should be with Lewis."

"No, there is nothing I can do for him. The doctors are keeping him sedated until Monday."

"Do you want to stay here?"

"I don't want to be alone and I have nowhere else to go."

"I want you here." Alex had never seen Erin so venerable before and felt the need to look after her, "You're in no condition to leave." She cradled her hand around Erin's cheek, "I know you're hurting right now, but your lack of sleep is not helping. Go to bed and then call Millie in the morning for an update."

Erin got up and held her hand out to Alex. She took hold and rose to her feet.

"Thank you Emily and you're right about sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning."

Alex let go and walked into the kitchen. She ate dinner alone and ended up going to bed a little before eleven.

-0-

Erin woke early and collected fresh clothes from her ready bag. Once she was showered and dressed, she put her dirty clothes from Utah in the washing machine.

Going to the kitchen, she prepared a batch of pancakes and switched on the coffee machine.

Alex staggered into the room and asked, "How long have you been awake?"

"An hour, I hope I didn't wake you?"

"No, the rain on the roof did."

"I wanted to surprise you," confessed Erin while pouring Alex a cup of coffee.

"You have and this is something I could get used to."

"Would you like to go out to dinner and a show tonight?"

Alex's forehead wrinkled, "As in a date?"

"Yes," replied Erin as she flipped the pancakes onto a plate.

"I'm sorry Erin, but I already have plans."

"Oh okay and it was presumptuous of me to assume you were free."

"I should have told you last night."

"No Emily, it's absolutely fine. You should be able to live your life without the U.S. Marshal Service knowing every little detail. Now, hurry up and eat before it gets cold."

Erin dismissed her disappointment and ate in silence, not willing to look at Alex in case she saw the tears in her eyes.

When Alex went for a shower, Erin hurriedly retrieved her wet clothing from the washing machine and packed. Calling a cab, she left a note by the coffee machine then rushed outside to wait.

-0-

Alex exited the bathroom ten minutes later and went into her bedroom to dress. When she entered the kitchen, she found a note on the counter.

_**Thanks for the chat last night **_

_**and good luck for tonight.**_

_**I'll speak to you soon.**_

_**Erin**_

She grabbed her phone and called Erin only to receive a notification message informing her that the phone she was trying to reach had been turned off. Alex assumed Erin was on a plane, she wasn't.

Erin was at the local Laundromat drying her clothes. Once she was done, she repacked her bag and headed for the nearby car rental company. She leased a vehicle and drove home to New York.

-0-

Erin opened her apartment door and turned on her phone. She deleted the five messages from Alex then called Millie. Lewis was resting comfortably with no signs of swelling and Erin cried with relief from the news and promised to visit on Monday.

She spent the next two days working out and redecorating her bedroom.

By Monday morning the wounds on her back had scabbed over and she was moving freely without discomfort. She stayed at the hospital for three hours before Lewis was brought out of his sedated state. It was another hour before he was coherent. He was happy to see Erin was okay, but broke down when informed of Franks and Jones' deaths.

"What happened to Gross?" he asked once he'd regained control over his emotions.

"I'm not allowed to discuss him," admitted Erin.

"What?"

"I've been suspended Lewis."

Millie excused herself and went for a coffee.

"Okay, cut the crap and tell me what happened," demanded Lewis crossly.

"Gross only received a few cuts to his arms and legs during the explosion. When he came to, he was just lying there grinning at me. He got off on telling me the timer was a decoy."

"The fucking bastard planned on taking out hundreds."

"Yes, but Franks and Jones saved them."

"That doesn't explain why you are suspended."

"I tossed Gross down the fire escape stairwell as I escorted him out of the building."

"So, he tripped?"

"That's what appeared in my report."

"Did Gross make a complaint?"

"No, he backed up my version and said he slipped. Bradford knew how angry I was and suspended me because he knew it was the only way I would take a step back. I'm due back tomorrow."

"Did you go see Emily?"

"Yes, the assessment's been done for you."

"Thanks."

"I better get going and give your lovely wife some privacy with you."

Erin stood and kissed her partner goodbye, "See you soon."

"Thanks for visiting Erin, bye."

Driving home, Erin ate dinner then went straight to bed.

-o-


	7. Chapter 7

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 7

**Manhattan, New York**

**1145 hours February 15****th****, 2005**

**Chung chung**

"Acting Supervisory Deputy Taylor," answered Erin when her phone rang.

"_Hello Deputy, Agent Hammond here."_

"What can I do for the DEA today?"

_"We need to set up a meeting with Emily Johnson."_

"Has there been progress with her case?"

_"Yes and we can discuss it over lunch. I'll meet you at Josie's Diner at noon."_

"Okay, see you then."

Erin closed her phone and exited the office. Walking over to Lewis' desk, she asked, "Are you free for lunch?"

"I certainly am Boss."

"Don't call me that," protested Erin with a scowl.

"Hey, when you act-up in the big chair, you inherit the nickname."

"I'll be glad when Bradford returns from leave."

"Come on, you love the higher duties."

Erin countered with a smirk, "Yeah, I do."

"So are you taking me to lunch?"

"Yes along with DEA Agent Hammond. He wants to discuss a development with the Emily Johnson case."

"Really?"

"No Lewis, I just made that all up."

"Oops, I asked for that."

"Yes you did."

"Hey, did you ever call Emily back after she phoned me to wish us a Happy New Year?"

"No I didn't and that's the end of that. I need the Reid report A-SAP."

"Yes Boss, coming right up."

-0-

Once formal greetings were dispensed with, the two Marshals and Agent sat down at a secluded table in the corner.

Jack Hammond slid a beige manila folder across the table to Erin, "Elena Brevet, twenty seven and co-owner of Brevet Investments. She was beaten, raped and tortured with seventeen knife cuts before bleeding out as a result of a slashed throat."

"What type of investment did she deal in Jack?" asked Lewis.

"Private hedge fund, worth over 700 million in assets and reported a twenty percent return last financial year."

"Jesus, that's some serious cash," remarked Erin while viewing the autopsy photos. "Who's the guy?"

"That's Jason Brevet, husband and co-owner. He was discovered at their home several hours later. He'd been tied to a chair, stabbed and tortured then killed in a similar fashion as the wife."

"So who was killed first?" enquired Lewis.

"The wife by about thirty-six hours."

Erin looked up from the M.E.'s report, "The doer was meticulous with both bodies and left no trace of evidence."

"That's correct. The killer lifted the house keys from Elena's pocket and let himself into the house. The guy stayed in the house the entire weekend until the husband arrived home after attending a client's party in Miami."

"The torture suggests the perp was after something specific," noted Erin.

"Yes, the combination to the safe in the Brevet's home office. Chromatograph analysis of the safe indicated over one million dollars was taken."

"I see Manhattan SVU caught the case," noted Erin.

"Yes and forensic accountants discovered Brevet Investments was nothing more than a high-end pyramid scheme. The couple was strapped and in debt with both their credit cards maxed out and the two houses they owned were mortgaged. The company profits were bogus and the books cooked."

"So how do you explain the stolen cash?" asked Lewis with a grin.

Erin answered, "Money laundering and skimming a little off the top."

"That's right," said Hammond. "Specifically from a Columbian shell company by the name of Casa Vega Enterprises."

"I'll take a guess and say it's a front for drug trafficking," quipped Erin.

Hammond explained, "The Brevets were exchanging the dirty money with cheques made out to Casa Vega as were some of their so called investors."

Erin flicked through more autopsy pictures, "Are these more investors?"

"That's Sergio Montoya, the Brevet's middle man. The other is his wife. The killer shot them then their eight year old son Antonio in the head, but the slug deflected off the front of his skull and he survived. He stated a _"Ghost"_ killed his parents."

"So where does Emily Johnson fit into all of this?" enquired Erin.

"The bullets retrieved from the Montoyas matched the slug taken from ADA Alex Cabot."

"Dear god, you've finally got a lead on the bastard," whispered Erin.

"Unfortunately it's not that simple."

"Then go on," urged a disappointed Deputy.

"As you know, Cesar Velez ordered the hit on her because she was prosecuting one of his employees Zapata for rape. Velez was also responsible for the bombing death of DEA Agent Tim Donovan who was working that case."

"Yes I remember."

"The theory is Velez is Casa Vega Investments and when he discovered he was being short changed to the tune of millions by the Brevets and Sergio Montoya, he ordered a hit on them. NYPD Detectives tracked down the _"Ghost"_ as a Liam Connors. He was born in Belfast and is a known IRA hit man. He turned up in Columbia about five years ago."

"I suppose with the cease fire in Northern Ireland, Connors had to find alternative employment," reasoned Erin.

"Precisely and the only witness, Antonio Montoya identified Connors in a line up after Connors was arrested at a fuel depot in Gowanus."

"So he's set for trial?" asked Lewis as he waved to the waitress.

Erin closed the folder and Hammond waited to answer while the server took their orders.

Once she was gone, the Agent resumed, "Again, it's not that simple. Antonio was shot at on the morning of January twelfth when he was scheduled to testify in front of a Grand Jury."

Erin gasped, "Dear god, is he all right?"

"Yes, but his handler Detective Miguel Sandoval from Narcotics required medical attention. He was working with the SVU on the case and because of the assassination attempt; ADA Casey Novak was fifteen minutes late arriving at court and lost her application for remand. The Judge ruled the DA's office had no proof of Connors' complicity in the shooting and released him until trial."

"There's my tax dollar at work," scoffed Lewis.

"When Connors went to leave Novak directed Detectives Stabler and Benson to re-arrest him for the murder of ADA Alexandra Cabot. Luckily, Judge Preston was a friend of Alex's and remanded him for arraignment."

"Bugger, I can see where this is headed," remarked Erin as the meals arrived.

Hammond smirked, "You'd be right. When I was notified, I went to see Captain Cragen at the 16th Precinct to find out why he didn't call me before his detectives arrested Connors. I informed him that I would be called to testify at Connors' trial and would refuse to commit perjury. Cragen was shocked by my statement; he didn't know Alex Cabot was still alive."

"Well you did request Stabler and Benson remain quiet about WitSec," pointed out Erin.

"I didn't expect them to keep their word. Cragen tore his two detectives a new one and made mention of the fact they had signed affidavits charging Connors with murder knowing full well the victim was alive and wilfully committed perjury."

"I'm assuming they didn't expect their ADA to ask for the arrest in open court."

"That's correct. They both knew it would have put Cabot at risk to divulge the fact she was still alive."

"That's quite the mess," noted Erin between bites of her sandwich. "What do you need from us?"

"I need to take Captain Cragen to see Cabot."

"Okay, I'll arrange it by three this afternoon."

"Do you want me to clear it with your boss?"

"I am the boss at the moment, Bradford is on leave."

"Well that saves us some time then."

"It does and as a thank you, you are paying for lunch."

"It's a small price to pay Deputy Taylor."

-0-

Hammond parked the silver GMC Yukon in the drive and all the passengers alighted from the vehicle then approached the front door.

Erin hung back and allowed the other two men to climb the stairs first. Her heart sank when Alex opened the door and said, "What's happened ... is it over?"

Cragen stepped forward and hugged the friend he thought was deceased for the past sixteen months. They both cried for several minutes before Alex gained some semblance of self-control and led them inside.

Erin remained in the background and made coffee for everyone. When she entered the living room carrying a tray, Cragen was explaining the details of the Connors case. Unnoticed, she placed the beverage and condiments on the low table.

Retreating from the room, Erin fetched a bottle of water then sat down in the vacant armchair several minutes later.

Alex was sitting in the other one and Hammond and Cragen were perched on the couch. Alex was looking at a photo of Liam Connors, "I always wondered what he looked like. I always looked for him in the strangers I saw and hoped he hadn't found me. Now I know who to look for." She put the police mug shot down on the table, "I have wanted my would-be killer to pay for what he did to me, but it is against all I believe in as an Attorney to have him tried for a murder he didn't commit."

Cragen sighed, "I hope you understand why I've come here?"

"I can't expect you or anyone else to commit perjury. The court will have to be informed that I am still alive."

"It's wrong," protested Cragen. "The bastard should pay for what he did to you and for what he took from you and others."

"He will pay Donald; I insist he be charged with my attempted murder."

Hammond objected, "No, you can't do that. That would mean returning to New York and testifying. You would be placing yourself in danger."

Alex clenched her fists, "It used to be my job to persuade victims of crime to face their attackers and I believe it's time I did the same thing."

Cragen leaned forward, "It would be pointless for you to testify, you can't identify your shooter; no one can."

"Donald, you know that I would be classified as a missing witness if I didn't, then the case would be lost."

"We can still pin Connors for four murders. He won't walk free," pointed out Hammond.

"You're basing that statement on the willingness of an eight year old to testify, even after he's been shot at."

"Alex, if you go anywhere near the Courthouse, you'll be at risk of being killed," argued Cragen.

Alex stood and glared at both men, "Do you expect me to allow Connors to take my conscience too? The bastard took my home, my career, my lover and finally my mother. Because of him, I couldn't even attend her funeral. He's not taking any more, I won't let him."

Excusing herself, Alex went to the bathroom.

Erin got up and offered, "I'll go check on her."

Hammond rose up from his chair, "Stay with her Deputy and return to New York in the morning. I'll meet you at the Newark hangar."

"Understood Agent Hammond, I'll make the necessary arrangements." Without further ado, Erin walked the two men to the vehicle then went back inside the house.

Alex was standing in the hallway, "Do you think I'm doing the wrong thing?"

"No, I'd do exactly the same thing if I were in your position. We'll fly back in the morning; just give me five minutes to organise the flight and a detail from the airport."

"Of course, you have a job to do."

Erin ignored the jibe and reached for her cell phone.

Ten minutes on, she joined Alex on the couch, "Everything is arranged. You'll be staying at a safe house until you have testified."

"Thank you Deputy Taylor."

"There's no need to thank me."

Alex countered with a snide remark, "I know Deputy Taylor; it's your job."

"Obviously you're angry right now, but I'm not the enemy."

"Why did you run out on me the last time you were here?"

"Honestly, I didn't want to hear about your date and I had no right to be jealous."

"Why didn't you call me again?"

"I took a break from the internal struggle between duty and you. Besides, you were moving along nicely and I certainly wasn't in a position to interfere with that."

"I thought we were friends?"

"We were, but it was unprofessional of me to have any form of relationship with you."

"Thank you for finally telling me that."

"I'm sorry."

"I am too, how is Lewis?"

"He's really good."

"I was relieved when he recovered from his injuries."

"So was I."

"I guess I better start on dinner."

"You don't have plans?"

"No, not any longer, I cancelled them earlier."

"Sorry about that."

After a quiet meal, Alex went to bed and Erin stayed in the living room until her watch alarm woke her at six-thirty.

-0-

**Manhattan District Attorney's Office**

**1 Hogan Place, New York**

**Thursday 17****th**** February, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Olivia and Elliot waited in Casey Novak's office and prepared themselves for the ass kicking they knew they were about to receive.

On cue, Casey strode through the doorway and fired her first salvo, "You pair should have trusted me with the truth. Shit, how can we work together if you don't trust me?"

Olivia got to her feet, "Look Casey, we're real sorry, but we made a promise to Agent Hammond."

Shot two fired, "Christ, you left me blowing in the wind in court."

"Shit Casey," said Elliot. "Will we need legal representation?"

"I bloody well hope not," replied Casey as she moved behind her desk. Her face dropped when she looked at the two people who suddenly appeared in the doorway.

The two detectives turned to see Agent Hammond and Alex.

"Oh dear god, Alex," cried Olivia.

Elliot jumped up, "There was no need for you to come back."

Grinning brilliantly, Alex quipped, "I had to come save your three asses."

"I hate to break up this happy reunion, but we are due in court in ten minutes," declared Casey.

Erin, Lewis and four other Deputies formed a circle around Alex as she exited Novak's office. The detail escorted the former ADA to the Courthouse and along with Hammond, secured her in a holding room to the side of the courtroom.

Erin left the room and quietly slipped into the back row of the courtroom. She remained standing close to the door and surveyed the room. Her eyes continued to scan for any unusual movements or body language.

Momentarily, Judge Lois Preston asked the prosecutor, "Have the people a new indictment for the defendant?"

Novak stood, "We have Your Honour. Under indictment 72404, the defendant Liam Connors is hereby charged with attempted murder."

Defence Attorney Roger Kressler sprang to his feet, "This is an outrage. My client was arrested on murder one, where is that charge?"

"The people withdraw it Your Honour," replied Casey.

"No doubt due to insufficient evidence," scoffed Kressler. "Ms Novak, how many more fake charges do you intend tossing my client's way?"

Judge Preston interjected, "Who is your complainant in the new indictment Ms Novak?"

Casey calmly replied, "Former Manhattan Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot."

Erin observed as Connors looked around the room, his face detailing his shock.

The Judge was no better as Hammond ushered Alex into the courtroom via the side entrance.

Kressler immediately protested, "Your Honour, I insist Detectives Benson and Stabler be arrested immediately."

"On what charge?" demanded Judge Preston.

"The detectives committed perjury by filing a false instrument charging my client with ADA Cabot's murder."

Novak sprang to their defence, "Your Honour, the detectives hands were tied in this matter. Ms Cabot's life would have been placed in jeopardy if the truth was known at that time."

"Mr Connors has been imprisoned unlawfully, so that adds a charge of false arrest," objected Kressler.

"Your Honour," began Casey. "The defendant would still have been placed on remand on a charge of attempted murder of a city official, so his liberty has not been unfairly hindered."

Judge Preston nodded her head, "I agree and find no underlying violation has been committed against you client's rights Mr Kressler. The defendant is to remain on remand and there will be no charges brought against Detectives Benson and Stabler." The Judge raised her chin to Alex as she banged her gavel, "Twenty minute recess."

Erin watched closely as Lewis and the other Deputies took up strategic positions around the room. She also noted Detective Stabler approaching a dark haired man at the door and overheard him say, "Has something happened to Antonio?"

"No, but we do have an issue," replied the man Erin assumed was Detective Miguel Sandoval.

Observing meticulously, Erin stood firm as Elliot neared Hammond and Alex. The DEA Agent motioned to her that they needed to exit the Courtroom. Erin directed her Deputies to proceed with escorting their asset from the area with haste.

Once the group were in the hallway, Hammond informed then they were to return to Novak's office.

-0-

When the detail arrived outside office 206, Sandoval was already inside with Antonio and the ADA, so Alex stepped past the doorway and joined them.

Erin approached Hammond and enquired, "What's going on?"

"The boy is frightened and Detective Sandoval thinks it would help if Alex talked to him."

"I hope he's right," reflected Erin with a frown.

After a short conversation, Detective Sandoval departed with Antonio along with the two DEA Agents assigned to protect the young boy.

Alex appeared moments later and Erin and her team went into action and transported her to the safe house. Detectives Stabler and Benson had requested to be part of the protective detail and Erin had consented. It allowed her to free up two of her Deputies and ensure they were well rested for the following morning.

Once Alex was settled, Elliot took the first shift inside the house while Erin, Lewis, Craig and Turner took up covert external positions.

-0-

During her last check-in, Erin found Elliot and Alex playing backgammon. Glancing at Alex, Erin watched as she ran long fingers through her blonde hair. The former ADA had dyed it back to its natural colour the morning they left Wausau. Erin felt a tingling up her spine and bid the two friends a goodnight.

Going outside, Erin neared Olivia as she got out of her car, "You have four fresh Deputies around the perimeter and they will be relieved at 0600 hours. The detail will leave for the courthouse at 0800 hours. Have a good night Detective Benson."

Olivia smiled deeply, "Thanks for allowing me this time with Alex."

"I am aware of how important she is to you, but I warn you, she has changed."

"Seriously, how could she not with all that has happened?"

"Sad but true, goodnight."

"Bye."

-0-

Olivia spoke briefly to Elliot before he left the house. She secured the door and went into the living room. Standing by the couch, she just stared at Alex for a moment before saying, "I suppose Elliot won."

"Yes, every single game. I wish I could open the windows and smell the city aromas."

"It hasn't changed," said a nervous Olivia as she sat down beside Alex.

Blue eyes focused on brown, "I get so homesick for the hustle and bustle of New York's night sounds that I often whistle the Mr Softie song. It's so quiet in Wisconsin."

"So that's where you live? Have you established any friendships?" Olivia was dreading the answer and stopped herself from cringing.

"A couple, especially my next door neighbours. Uhm, I started dating a work colleague back in November."

"I'm glad you've found some happiness Alex."

"It's nothing serious Liv, more of a means to forget my life back here. Jenny is a wonderful woman, but she's certainly not the love of my life. When we make love she calls me Emily and I have to stop myself from blurting out my real name."

Olivia grimaced, "Ouch that hurts."

"Oh god I'm sorry Liv that was insensitive of me."

"It's fine and I know how hard it is to pretend to be someone else."

Alex changed the subject, "I'm having trouble forgetting I'm no longer a prosecutor now that I'm back here. I wish I knew more about Connors and how he thinks."

"I may be able to help you with that," offered Olivia as she passed Alex a folder. "You didn't get that from me."

Alex opened the file and stared at Olivia, "It's Connors' criminal record."

"I know nothing."

Reading the contents, Alex glanced sideways at her ex-girlfriend every now and then to find her watching intently. When she was done, Alex handed back the dossier then stood. Holding out her hand to Olivia, she pleaded, "Take me to bed and remind me how it feels to be Alex Cabot."

Reaching for the trembling hand, Olivia followed the blonde into the bedroom.

-o-


	8. Chapter 8

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 8

**Supreme Courthouse Complex **

**60 Centre Street, Manhattan**

**18****th**** February, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Erin was once again standing by the double doors of the courtroom while ADA Novak questioned Alex. When Erin had arrived at the safe house hours earlier, she was informed during the changeover that the light had gone out twenty minutes after she left the previous night and there had been no signs of movement.

The seasoned Deputy had no doubt that Alex and Olivia had slept together and initially, had felt the pang of jealousy, but it eased swiftly and was replaced by resolution. Erin was committed to the fact her job was what she needed to concentrate on and she did. Although, she had to admit she was taken aback when Alex couldn't look her in the eye when Erin escorted her to the car. Ignoring the conflicting feelings, she ensured the witness arrived on time at the courthouse.

Deputy Taylor was impressed by the confidence Alex displayed on the stand and that continued when Kressler commenced his examination. Alex was calm, but obviously trying to subtly push Connors' buttons in the hope of igniting a response from him.

It was working, especially when she questioned his character while replying to Kressler's inquiries. As she pushed the boundaries and suggested Connors aim was inadequate, the defendant's anger rose and he suddenly got to his feet.

Erin moved down the aisle as Connors yelled out, "YOU'RE NOT SAFE. THEY KNOW YOU ARE HERE. YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN SAFE IF YOU'D ONLY STAYED DEAD."

Kressler objected as Court Officers rushed in to control the defendant.

The Judge ordered a recess and directed Alex to step down. She did and strutted out of the Courtroom with an air of confidence Erin had never witnessed before. The Deputy Marshal and Hammond raced after her and the trio were met by Olivia outside and the detective held Alex's hand for a brief moment.

Detective Sandoval approached with Antonio and the young child greeted Alex and they spoke for a short time before the blonde told him how proud she was of him in deciding to talk to the Judge.

Antonio admitted to being scared, but he was eager to proceed when Alex told him she had been frightened too when she faced the _"Ghost"_ and confessed she felt much better now it was over.

For the first time since meeting Alexandra Cabot, Erin finally permitted herself to admit what she had suppressed for so long. She had fallen in love and it was a pointless emotion.

Her internal musing was interrupted when Alex advised Antonio, "I'll be sitting in the back row, just look for me if you get worried."

"Okay Alex."

-0-

As the Court Officer took Antonio to the witness stand, Erin saw the look on Connors' and Kressler's faces. They both wore an expression of pure defeat as the courageous boy took his seat.

After Antonio's testimony, Novak announced the people rested and Kressler called several witnesses for the defence. Once closing arguments were delivered two days later, the Jury retired to consider their verdict and Elliot and Olivia escorted Alex back to the safe house while Erin and her team followed behind at a discrete distance.

Olivia stayed with Alex the entire time and Erin found herself back at the office and handing back command to Bradford. She gave him a full report on the day's activities before starting to clear her belongings from his office desk.

"Leave them there Erin," directed Bradford.

"I beg your pardon sir?"

"I was going to wait until the morning, but as the trial has gone into the deliberation phase, there won't be much opportunity to make arrangements."

"You mean Cabot will have to be relocated again as soon as possible."

"Yes and I'd like to move her now, but she deserves to be there for the verdict after being brave enough to return."

"I couldn't agree with you more sir."

"You know, you are officially off duty, so stop calling me sir."

Erin chuckled, "It's a hard habit to break."

Bradford grinned briefly then added, "We will be relocating Antonio Montoya also."

"Okay James, that makes sense."

"You will be responsible for Cabot and Lewis will take on Antonio's case. I'll be calling him tonight with the news. Because of the threat made against Cabot in court, you will be assigned to her 24/7 until further notice. Due to the high risk circumstances, you will be travelling to Alaska."

Erin grimaced, "Wow that is going to be fun."

"Your cover is you'll be the new Sheriff in Eagle River."

"What about Cabot?"

James went to the bottom drawer of his desk and withdrew a half full bottle of scotch and two tumblers, "We weren't able to organise employment for her yet, but in two months' time the local Magistrate's position becomes available."

"Well you've certainly been busy your first day back."

"That's why they pay me the higher wage." He poured out two measures and handed one to Erin.

"Are we celebrating something?"

"Yes." James raised his glass, "To Alex Cabot and Antonio Montoya, two courageous souls."

"Here, here," responded Erin before downing the warm, golden liquid.

Bradford refilled the glasses then announced, "To Supervisory Deputy United States Marshal Erin Taylor."

"What?"

"You've been promoted as of tomorrow. The order came through about an hour ago, so congratulations."

"Gee, I didn't expect this so soon."

"The job you did in Houston and Utah didn't go unnoticed, plus you've proven you can handle the responsibilities of higher duties these past four weeks."

"Cheers to me," countered Erin before taking another drink.

Bradford followed then declared, "There are two more pieces of news."

"I don't think I can drink anymore and still be able to drive home," jested Erin.

Laughing for a second, James explained, "I'll be taking a transfer to Los Angeles at the end of the year and you'll be talking over my job here."

"I don't know what to say except thank you."

"You've earned it Erin. Now the last bit of info concerns your assignment to Alaska."

"Now I'm worried."

"You and Cabot will be posing as a couple, in fact, you are married."

"Oh no, that's not going to work," protested Erin with a shake of her head.

"Why not, she's gay and so are you?"

"True, but Alex and I can barely speak to one another."

"Well you will have ample time to remedy that issue."

"Was this your idea James?"

With a smile, James answered, "Guilty and the reason behind it is simple. You and Cabot are good looking and going to a place not vastly populated with single women. You won't want half the men in town knocking on your door. Very few people know about Cabot's sexual orientation, so it's a good smoke screen for anyone looking for her."

"I see your point, but what if something happens between us?"

"Then leave it out of your reports. It's how I met my wife."

"That's a relief and I need to get going."

"Before you do, drop into the tech lab and have Freddy take your photo for a new ID. Cabot's new identification and licence are ready to be picked up."

"Okay, will do."

"Oh Erin there is one last thing."

"Yes sir, uhm James?"

"You will be issued a new vehicle and driving to Eagle River from the courthouse. New clothing and essentials will be in the SUV when you take delivery."

"Got you, see you tomorrow and thanks again James."

"You're welcome and have a good night."

-0-

**Safe house, unknown location**

**0810 hours 21****st**** February, 2005**

**Chung Chung**

Erin spoke with Olivia the following morning while Alex was in the shower and noticed the older woman had been crying, "Are you all right?"

"No, not really. It was hard enough to say goodbye to Alex the first time and it's twice as difficult this time around. I know Alex will be gone longer and she insists I find someone else."

"It's sound advice Olivia. As long as Velez is breathing Alex will be under threat. I'm aware how difficult it is to let go, but past experience taught me it will only play with your mind if you don't."

"Did you ever meet Jenny?"

"No I didn't."

"Alex told me it isn't serious."

"Under the circumstances it's bloody impossible to form strong relationships."

"She won't be going back to Wisconsin, will she?"

"No Olivia, I'm afraid it's too much of a risk to return there. We will be leaking information suggesting Alex has been relocated overseas."

"It's comforting to know everything is being done to protect her and Antonio."

Alex exited the bathroom and nodded to Erin, "Deputy Taylor."

"Miss Cabot, I bought you croissants for breakfast, enjoy."

"That was kind of you. Liv, can you help me in the bedroom honey?"

"Sure."

Erin knew the request was for her benefit and as she left the house, she wondered how she was going to survive the trip to Alaska, let alone live with Alex for a significant amount of time.

**-0-**

**Supreme Courthouse Complex **

**60 Centre Street, Manhattan**

**1008 hours 22****nd**** February, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Liam Connors stood beside Kressler as Judge Preston addressed the Jury foreperson.

"On the first count of the attempted first degree murder of Antonio Montoya, what is your verdict?"

"Guilty."

"On the second count of the attempted first degree murder of Alexandra Cabot, what is your verdict?"

"Guilty."

"On the third count of murder in the first degree of Elena Brevet, what is your verdict?"

"Guilty."

"On the fourth count of murder in the first degree of Jason Brevet, what is your verdict?"

"Guilty."

"On the fifth count of murder in the first degree of Mary Montoya, what is your verdict?"

"Guilty."

"On the sixth count of murder in the first degree of Sergio Montoya, what is your verdict?"

"Guilty."

Agent Hammond leaned into Alex and said, "It's time for us to go."

Erin moved in and escorted Alex into the hallway. The SVU detectives filed out of the Courtroom and Captain Cragen remarked, "We'll meet you back at Casey's office Alex."

"See you there."

Erin brought her wrist up to her mouth and spoke into the mike, "We are on the move."

_"Roger that, vehicle is secured," _came the reply from Lewis.

Hammond, Erin, Craig and Turner ushered Alex down a back stairwell that led to the Judges' car park. Lewis was standing beside a dark blue Ford Expedition with the two front doors open. He handed Alex a long black wig and Erin a baseball cap.

Familiar with the routine, Alex put on the hairpiece and pushed her blonde hair up under the skull cap. Seconds later, she hugged Lewis tightly, "Take care Lewis."

"You too Alex."

Erin embraced her friend, "You keep your head down and that's an order."

"Yes Boss. Antonio is already at a safe location and being moved within the hour."

"Look after him Lew and I'll call you as soon as I can."

"Drive safe Erin, bye."

After shaking the other Deputies' hands and Hammond's, Erin got behind the driver's wheel and ten minutes out of the city, she finally spoke to Alex, "You'll find your new identity in the small black bag on the rear seat."

Alex leaned over the centre console and grabbed the case, "So who am I this time?"

"Alex Taylor."

"Who now?" gasped Alex with surprise.

"Alexandra Faith Taylor is your new name."

Opening up the bag, Alex retrieved her new driver's licence and read the address, "Alaska, I'm going to be living in Alaska?"

"Yes, we will be domiciled in Eagle River, Alaska."

"We?"

"You are now in the high risk category Alex and will be under 24/7 protection."

Alex threw up her hands in disbelief, "With you?"

"Yes with me."

"This will be fun," grumbled the blonde. "We can hardly tolerate each other's presence as it is."

"You will adjust."

"Explain why I have your surname?" demanded a seething Alex.

"For all intents and purposes, we were legally married in Aspen two years ago."

Alex's complaint was bitter, "Oh hell no, this is unacceptable."

Keeping her eyes on the traffic, Erin shook her head in frustration, "Look, I'm not too peachy keen on the idea either."

"You'll adapt," snapped Alex sarcastically while crossing her arms against her chest.

Erin refrained from making further comment and turned the radio volume up instead.

-0-

A beaming Olivia waltzed into Casey's office and placed a bottle of wine on the desk, "Well, I think it's time to celebrate."

"Now that's an excellent idea," agreed Sandoval.

Cragen smiled at Olivia, "Alex did a real snow job on Connors; he never saw it coming."

"She's the best prosecutor I've even known," declared Olivia proudly.

Elliot was talking with Casey when he heard the sound of footsteps in the corridor, "That will be Alex now."

Everyone turned towards the door and Hammond appeared.

"Where is Alex, is she behind you?" questioned Elliot with a furrowed brow.

"I'm sorry folks she's unable to make it. Marshals are already relocating her and Antonio. She wanted me to say goodbye on her behalf."

"Well that just fucked up the party atmosphere," announced Fin deadpan.

-0-

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" asked Erin as she pulled off Interstate 80 in Youngstown, Ohio and parked at the bowsers of the Chevron gas station to refuel.

"No, I'm good."

Looking at the GPS monitor, Erin announced, "All right, we'll stop at a hotel in another four hours' time."

"Whatever Deputy Dawg," countered Alex.

"You should take that show on the road," suggested Erin as she opened her door. "You're bloody hilarious and I'm having a frightfully hard time trying not the split my sides laughing."

"Bite me."

"No thanks, I might end up with rabies or the mange."

"Fuck off."

Erin stopped herself from trading further insults. It was all the pair had done since Alex found out about her new destination and identity.

After paying for the gas, Erin returned to the SUV and tossed a chocolate bar and bottle of chilled water to Alex.

Alex drank and ate in silence while Erin sang along to an old Bee Gees song playing on the radio.

When the tune ended, Alex commented, "You have a nice voice."

"Did you just compliment me?"

"Yes, it must have been a moment of weakness on my behalf."

Grinning, Erin said, "I'll take it."

"I'm acting like a brat," conceded Alex. "It's a wonder you haven't shot me."

"The thought crossed my mind about six hours ago."

Alex giggled softly, "We've only been on the road for six hours."

"You sure about that, it feels more like twenty," taunted Erin.

"Trust me, I've been keeping track."

"You were really superb when you gave your testimony in court. I haven't seen that much gavel banging in a long time."

"I like to bring a little cheer to proceedings."

"It must have felt unusual for you to be back inside a courtroom."

"It did and I realised just how much I've missed it."

"I'm really sorry Alex."

"I believe you are and I apologise for my behaviour. None of this is your fault and it was wrong of me to take it out on you."

Bobbing her head, Erin enquired, "Did you get the chance to sort things out with Olivia?"

"We agreed it may be some time before it was remotely possible for me to return to New York and we spent most of the time saying goodbye."

Even though it hurt to say so, Erin told Alex the truth, "She still loves you."

"I know, but I convinced her to move on. Olivia will eventually let go, she is just stubborn."

"I like her; she's a good detective and a wonderful person."

"Yes she is, oh shit."

"What is it?"

"My job and Jenny, I've just left them all behind without explanation."

"It has been taken care of."

"How and when?"

"I called Irene Calder last night and told her you had decided to return to Tulsa to be with your ex. Your work was notified this morning that you had gone back home to care for your cousin who had been in a car accident. Your letter of resignation was faxed to your boss an hour after the call."

"What about Jenny?"

"She'll receive a typed letter from you in the next couple of days."

"Oh all right, so why are we going to Alaska?"

"It's remote and isolated."

"Do I get another mind numbing career?"

The right corners of Erin's mouth arched up, "Actually, the new one is more befitting your field of expertise."

Blue eyes widened, "Really?"

"You'll be the new Magistrate in two months' time."

"Well that definitely is more exciting."

A huge grin graced Erin's face, "I'm glad you are thrilled."

"It may be the only thing to keep me sane. What will you be doing besides keeping an eye on me?"

"I'll be taking over as the state appointed Sheriff in a month's time."

Alex chuckled then confessed, "I have a weakness for a woman in uniform."

Warm shivers ran down Erin's spine, "Oh, I'll keep that in mind."

"Erin."

"Yes Alex?"

"Thank you for agreeing to allow Olivia and Elliot to babysit me."

"You're welcome and I know it meant a lot to them."

"Yeah, it did to me too."

-0-

After paying for a room in Perrysburg, Ohio, Erin parked the Ford and rushed Alex into the room. "You can have the shower first while I grab our overnight bags," she suggested.

"Thanks and I hope this place has room service, I'm famished."

"They do Alex, just order what you want."

It was a little past eleven when Erin finally slipped into bed.

"Goodnight," said Alex from the other double bed.

"Pleasant dreams Alex."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"When was the last time you had a date?"

"The time I visited you and took you to the concert."

Alex sighed heavily, "That was a nice night and I really enjoyed it."

"Yes, I did too."

"What about before then?"

"Over three years ago."

Alex was stunned by the reply, "Holy shit, how long has it been since you've had sex?"

"Three years."

Sitting up in bed, Alex asked, "How does that work for you?"

"It doesn't."

"Oh," mumbled Alex as she lay back down. "That's awfully sad."

"Why do you say that?"

"Erin, you are gorgeous and have an incredible body. Do you get offers?"

"Of course I do, but I've already told you I prefer to date first."

"Don't you get frustrated?"

Erin wasn't in the mood to continue with the conversation, knowing it was futile, "Go to sleep Alex."

"Well I like sex," declared Alex off handily.

"You made that point abundantly clear at the safe house."

Alex couldn't help herself and the words just kept on tumbling out, "Olivia is an exceptionally talented lover."

"Why in heaven's name are you telling me this?"

"I have no idea."

"Alex, shut up and sleep."

Alex did and Erin shook her head in bewilderment while pushing down the heat of jealousy that was scorching her senses.

-o-


	9. Chapter 9

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 9

**Eklutna Park Drive **

**Eagle River, Alaska**

**1814 hours Friday 25****th**** February, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Erin drove up to the house at the end of the road that was to be their new abode and Alex joked, "It's a fixer upper I see."

"It's not so bad once you get inside," explained Erin as she pointed a remote at the garage door and parked inside once the mechanism stopped. "The garage is heated."

"That's good to know. I may end up sleeping out here when we have a lover's tiff."

Erin alighted from the vehicle and immediately grabbed several bags from the rear compartment and entered the house giggling.

Alex followed her with four pieces of luggage and stood beside Erin and took in the open planned first storey, "Wow, this is not what I expected to find inside."

The kitchen was modern and equipped with the latest European appliances and a centre wooden galley. The living room was sunken and featured a large fireplace with logs stacked neatly on either side. The L-shaped black leather couch was new and Alex could smell its scent.

"This is all new Erin; even the polished wood floors are unmarked."

"I gather the prospect of living here just took an upward turn."

"I'll hold my opinion until I see what's lurking about upstairs."

"Well, be sure to take a broom with you in case there's a polar bear hibernating on the bed or spiders in the closets."

Alex turned her head and leered at Erin with an expression of utter horror, "You are joking right?"

"No I'm not. Bears often come indoors looking for food and shelter. As for the spiders, it's been a while since anyone used this place, so a few may be hiding in the other rooms."

"Do you have any idea where a broom would be and just so you know, I hate spiders?"

"You'll find one in the laundry room, second door to the left past the stairs. Would you rather take my gun?"

"Now I know you are lying."

Erin winked, "How can you be sure?"

"The lower left corner of your mouth arches up slightly when you try to stop yourself from laughing."

"I guess I better practice masking that then. In the meantime, I'll start the fire and organise some dinner for us. By the way, the house was fumigated last month."

Alex's shoulders relaxed, "That sounds perfectly fine to me and I'll start taking the bags upstairs." The blonde was halfway up the steps when she asked, "Which bedroom is mine?

"There's only one, second door to the right."

With a cheeky smirk, Alex posed the question, "So you'll be sleeping in the garage then?"

"No, I'll be utilising the couch."

Going into the spacious bedroom, Alex was gobsmacked by the view on offer from the windows. There was a beautiful panorama of snowy mountains, white fields and clear blue sky. Tossing the luggage onto the king size bed, Alex sorted through the assortment of clothes and underwear and divided the items into the two chests of drawers and walk-in wardrobe.

When she was done, Alex looked in the other three rooms and discovered and office complete with the latest computer and security technology. The bathroom was decorated in dark green marble tile and gold plated fittings as well as a spa bath and a clear glassed shower cubicle. The next room was smaller and filled with a cache of various weapons and stocks of ammunition.

By the time Alex returned downstairs, she had a few questions for Erin. She found her inside a fully stocked pantry to the left of the kitchen.

"I'm making a beef and tomato pasta, is that okay with you Alex?" announced Erin as she backed out of the large room.

"That's fine."

"There is a bottle of red wine breathing on the counter if you are interested."

"I am; what about you?"

"I'm on duty 24/7 Alex and can't imbibe alcohol."

"Of course you are my hero," taunted Alex as she went to the bench. She poured herself a generous glass and sat down on a stool to watch Erin cook. "What kind of place is this?" she asked between sips.

"It's a safe house."

"Erin, there's enough guns upstairs to start a war."

"We are five miles from our nearest neighbours and have to be prepared for unexpected visitors."

"Honey, you and I can only carry so many weapons between us."

"The rest are for invited guests."

"Jesus Erin, this house is straight out of a Bond movie. It's fully supplied and furnished, is it always like this?"

"Yes it is. It's ready to be used at a moment's notice and a Deputy was here yesterday to ensure everything was functional. The Armoury door should have been secured before he left."

"You know your way around here, so I assume you have been here before."

"I have."

Blonde eyebrows rose, "With other WitSec participants?"

"Yes, on six other occasions."

"Does the Marshal Service own this house?"

"No, it's lent to them when required and available."

"Do you know the owner?"

"Yes I do and would you like garlic bread with dinner?"

"Yes please and this wine is very nice."

"It comes from the Hunter Valley in Australia."

"You know, I imaged us having to live in some old run down shack and freezing our asses off."

"That was the good old days," jested Erin with a dimpled grin.

Alex laughed then inquired, "So where is the owner if they aren't here?"

Erin retrieved a small frozen loaf of bread from the freezer and placed it in the oven, "You're looking at them."

Blue eyes bulged, "You … this is your house?"

"It was my father's and I redecorated it a couple of years ago. I often spend my holidays here in seclusion if the place isn't being used."

"Erin, I'm totally shocked."

"Why is that?"

"This is a wonderful home and you allow complete strangers to live here, that's very charitable."

"I first offered it up a few years back because of the location and the fact no one can turn up without being seen."

"You are full of surprises Deputy Taylor."

"I have a few more."

"I bet you do," countered Alex with a hint of sassiness.

Erin turned off the boiling pot of noodles then drained it.

Putting down her glass, Alex leaned over and asked, "What pet name would you like me to use for you in case the neighbours come visiting?"

"I'm sure you'll come up with something appropriate when the time is right."

The cheeky and playful banter continued throughout the course of the meal and Alex partook of another two glasses of wine.

She was in good spirits and completely at ease when she joined Erin on the couch, "I know that you were reluctant to talk about your personal life back in Wausau, but is there any chance you might change your attitude here?"

"We'll start going over our new background information tomorrow."

"You didn't actually answer my question and you seem a little more open with me."

"In answer to the query, I don't know and yes I am more comfortable here."

"Is it because you are in familiar surroundings?"

"I guess so and the fact we are isolated."

"Will you teach me how to handle a handgun?"

"Why do you want to learn?"

"You never know, I may have to avail myself of the war room someday."

Erin grinned broadly, "Is that what you are going to call the armoury?"

"Yes, I think it best describes the room. I noticed all the security equipment in the office, so I guess I better familiarise myself with that too."

"It would help, especially if I am not here."

"Are there motion sensors outside?"

"Yes Alex."

Alex smirked back at Erin, "I like the fact I have my real name back."

Erin got to her feet and avoiding any further discussion of a personal nature, "I'm just going upstairs to check on the alarm system."

"I'll come and watch how you operate it."

-0-

After a lesson on disarming and arming the system grid, Alex asked, "So everything works off the satellite?"

"Pretty much so and if we experience a power outage there is a battery backup system in the utilities room that is located in the garage. We also have a generator at our disposal if required."

"It's really well set up," noted Alex.

"It has to be. The last time I was here on a job, Lewis and I were protecting a government official from overseas."

"You have a fairly exciting job, don't you?"

Erin secured the room and headed towards the stairs, "There is never a dull moment, but I can do without the injuries."

"You have been hurt twice in the time I have known you. Have you been hurt before?" inquired the blonde as the pair descended the steps.

"No, not really, just a split lip or graze here and there."

Settling back on the couch, Alex probed for more information, "Is it true a Marshal will take a bullet for their witness or asset?"

"Yes it is, just like the Secret Service. It is our duty to protect at all costs and before you ask, I took one four years ago to the vest."

"Ouch."

Erin put her feet up on the coffee table and stretched out.

"Do you miss not having someone to come home to?"

"No Alex, I don't usually allow myself the time to contemplate that scenario."

Alex let out a gentle laugh, "I'm sure that will change now."

"Not really, I'll still be busy for the majority of time."

"Well I hope you don't plan on neglecting me or I'll have to ask for a divorce."

Erin tittered at the joke, "I'll keep that on my list of things to do."

Alex yawned behind her raised hand, "I think I'll head up to bed and if you find it uncomfortable on the couch, you are welcome to share the bed with me."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll be fine down here. I've slept on it before."

"Don't forget it's important for you to get a good night's sleep too."

"Are you nagging me already?" quipped Erin playfully.

"Very funny, goodnight," replied Alex while getting up.

"Sweet dreams Alex."

-0-

**Eklutna Park Drive **

**Eagle River, Alaska**

**1027 hours 26****th**** Saturday February, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Erin passed Alex a thin gold wedding band and explained, "That's for appearances."

"No problem, do you have one?"

"Yes I do. All right, pop quiz, who proposed and where?"

"I popped the question during our first year anniversary while dining in our favourite restaurant."

"Very good, what is the name of the restaurant?"

"It is Captain's Catch on the boardwalk at Atlantic City."

"Date?"

"February third, 2002."

A sly smirk appeared on Erin's face, "You get a gold star for that."

"I'd rather some chocolate."

"Bottom shelf in the pantry," instructed Erin as she got up from the dining table. "I ordered some for you."

"That was a wise move; it pacifies my desire to kill during PMS."

"Why do you think I got it? I remembered how cranky you got in Wisconsin."

Alex's look of embarrassment was followed by an apology, "Oh sorry about the last time and for yesterday. I was a little feisty."

Collecting all the contents of the folder, Erin handed it to Alex, "That's for you and feisty is an understatement."

"I'm just trying to be ladylike and not swear."

"You did enough of that yesterday."

Alex jumped up and walked into the pantry. She returned with a block of confectionary, "You got my favourite. You do have a good memory."

"It's called observation."

Alex opened the packet and popped a square of milk chocolate into her mouth. She closed her eyes and groaned loudly with pure delight, "Oh my god, this is so good."

Erin took one look at the blonde and dropped the china mug she was carrying to the sink. The sight and sound of Alex in unadulterated rapture was enough to awaken her long suppressed desire for the woman.

"Oh god," husked Alex in a deepened tone.

Bending down, Erin began picking up the larger pieces of shattered porcelain.

Alex looked down at the flustered Deputy and smiled. As she walked past her, Alex leaned down and ran a hand through brown locks, "I like your hair longer, it makes you look like Jennifer Garner from the television show Alias. All sexy and kick ass and so yummy."

Too flabbergasted to reply, Erin continued to stare at the floor and Alex was busy in the gym room behind the garage by the time she regained some semblance of composure.

Checking the time, Erin knew Lewis would have rotated off the protective detail covering Antonio, so she called his cell phone.

_"Hey Erin, how's it all going?"_

"Good, have there been any signs of detection your end?"

_"No, everything is secure and the boy and his cousin's family are all adjusting well to the requirements."_

"That is jolly good news. I'll check in with you again next week."

_"No worries."_

"Uhm Lew, before I go, do I look like Sydney Bristow?"

_"Are you talking about the chick from Alias?"_

"Yes, that's the one."

_"You're more muscular, but yes you do, especially when your hair is longer."_

"Oh okay, talk to you soon."

_"Oh no you don't, not so fast. What made you ask that question?"_

"Someone pointed out the resemblance to me."

"I'm thinking it could only be one person and girl, you are in deep shit."

"Thank you for your well informed and eloquent assessment, but it's totally unnecessary, goodbye." Closing the phone, Erin busied herself with cleaning the weapons in the armoury.

-0-

The subsequent two weeks consisted of Alex learning how do use a Glock and the operation of the security system. Erin avoided spending time around Alex except when necessary and as she prepared to begin work as the Sheriff the following Monday, Alex came into the office and flopped into the chair adjacent to Erin's.

"Is there something you need?" enquired Erin while putting down the Sheriff's procedural manual.

"Sorry to interrupt your study, but I'm bored."

Erin grinned at the pouting blonde, "You sound just like a petulant child."

"I've run out of things to do. The washing and housework are done."

"Well I appreciate your hard work, but don't you have a book to read?"

"I've read them all, along with the Magistrate's regulations. I'd drive into town, but you'll have to go with me."

"That's true, so I better throw on a jacket. We need to pick up groceries anyway."

Alex jumped up and kissed Erin on the head, "Thank you, I'll go rug up."

Erin shook her head and went downstairs to dress for the cold weather. She walked into the garage and warmed up the Ford's engine and Alex climbed into the vehicle seconds later.

"Would you like to have lunch while we are out?" asked the passenger as she buckled up.

"Sure, it will be a nice change of scenery," answered Erin while reversing.

"Maybe we could put those two snow mobiles in the garage to use this afternoon?"

"Do you know how to ride?"

"You forget my background of growing up with winters spent in the snowfields of Europe."

"It's easy for me to forget you're a little Princess," taunted Erin as she armed the perimeter sensors with a remote.

"Snap," whispered Alex before giggling.

-0-

Erin opened the passenger door for Alex and took hold on her right hand.

Alex allowed herself to be helped out of the SUV and squeezed the hand gripping hers.

The couple strolled into the supermarket and went directly to the stationary section. Erin released Alex's hand and kissed her lightly on the cheek, "I'll go fetch a cart and make a start on our list while you browse."

"Okay sweetheart," acknowledged Alex for the benefit of the locals in close proximity. She selected three novels and two magazines before catching up to Erin. Looking at the near full trolley, she asked, "Are you planning a party?"

"No babe, just stocking up in case we get snowed in by the storm tonight."

"What storm?"

"Tom the butcher just informed me all about it."

Alex giggled, "Well you certainly can't beat local knowledge."

"Is there anything else you wanted?"

"I need some conditioner and cotton tips."

"Okay, that's in the next aisle."

Alex slipped her fingers into the back pocket of Erin's jeans and pressed into her back, "I'll cook tonight sweetheart."

Erin was too busy controlling her racing heart rate to answer. She pushed the cart forward and hoped she didn't break before the couple got home.

-0-

The temptation to fall into a genuine relationship with Alex continued for Erin and she found herself quite relieved when Deputy Marshall Nathan Willis arrived on March nineteenth to protect Alex until she commenced work on the second of May.

The relief was short lived when Erin realised Willis would be using the couch and she would have to bunk in with Alex. The problem was solved that morning when Erin responded to a break in at Tattler's Camping Store.

After lifting fingerprints from the cash register, counters and door handles, Erin purchased an inflatable mattress from business owner Gabe. Returning to the office, she processed the prints and by 1000 hours, had her suspect arrested, interviewed and on his way to arraignment.

Afterwards, Deputy Sheriff Martin Simpson drove Randall Smyth to the Anchorage Correctional Complex where he would stay on remand until sentencing in two weeks' time.

Erin drove home when her shift ended at five and set the bed up in the office before speaking with Alex. She met her in the hallway as she exited the room and Alex shook her head at her.

"Is the prospect of sharing a bed with me that distasteful?"

"No, but it wouldn't look too good in Willis' report."

"You can trust me not to jump you."

"It's not you I don't trust Alex."

As the brunette passed by, Alex smirked at the comment and hoped it wouldn't be much longer before Erin woke up and saw what was in front of her.

Erin exhaled and held onto the thin string of resistance as she descended the stairs and went to the downstairs bathroom.

-0-

Deputy Willis returned to Eagle River June twenty fifth and Erin left for a three week vacation. She departed for the airport in a cab before Alex arrived home from the Courthouse and evaded the goodbye.

After settling back into her apartment, Erin went over to Lewis' for dinner two hours later. Millie and the boys were ecstatic to see her after five months and Tyrone stayed by her side until he had to go to bed.

While Millie was putting the boys to bed, Lewis took the opportunity to talk shop, "How is Alex doing?"

"Really good and she is enjoying being amongst the law books again. Being able to argue about legal matters has revitalised her."

"I'm glad to hear that Erin."

"How did the relocation go for Antonio and the Delgado family?"

"There were no issues and Martinez is with them 24/7 until further notice."

"Good, Antonio deserves some stability and normalcy in his life."

Lewis nodded in agreement, "You still holding out on Alex?"

"Of course I am and you know I won't step over that line."

"Just checking, but I bet you are tempted."

Erin sighed deeply, "Every bloody day Lewis. Sometimes I forget we are just playing roles and nearly react as if it's real."

"My advice is you do what will make you happy."

"Breaking away from protocol will not make me happy."

"Well suck it up girl and get on with the job."

"That happens to be the plan I intend following."

"You busy tomorrow?"

"No not really, just a Tactical Firearms assessment in the morning."

"Great, Watkins and Christianson are playing golf with me at one. You can join us if you like."

"That sounds good to me."

"Anyone for coffee?" inquired Millie when she entered the living room.

"None for me thanks Mill," answered Erin. "I need to be going; I have an early start in the morning."

-o-


	10. Chapter 10

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 10

**Eklutna Park Drive **

**Eagle River, Alaska**

**2220 hours Sunday July 17****th****, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Erin returned to Alaska and discovered the temperature wasn't the only thing to have gotten colder. She was greeted by Nathan and given an update. That took all of two minutes then he packed his belongings and departed in his GMC Sierra.

Going to the bedroom, Erin tapped on the closed door, "Alex, are you still awake?"

"No I'm not, so go away."

Erin turned the handle and found it locked, "Can you please open the door?"

"No, I'm asleep."

"I'd like to say hello to you and I bought you a gift from Manhattan."

"You didn't bother to say goodbye to me before you left, so why say hello and it's not procedure for a Deputy to buy a primary a present."

"Oh come on Alex, this is childish."

"I can't hear you, I'm asleep."

"Grrr," complained Erin as she took her bag downstairs to the bathroom and showered. She got comfortable on the air mattress in the office ten minutes later, then proceeded to flay around for some time before eventually finding sleep.

-0-

Waking at six thirty, Erin heard the shower running in the bathroom upstairs, so she raced into the bedroom to retrieve a uniform, underwear and her work boots. Going downstairs, she completed a quick thirty minute run on the treadmill before showering and dressing for the station.

Alex was eating a muffin at the kitchen counter when Erin walked up to the pantry. "Just nod if you are still refusing to talk to me," directed Erin as she withdrew an energy bar from the bottom shelf.

Alex dipped her head twice and swapped the muffin for a cup of coffee.

"Your present is on your bed and I'll be back at seven thirty to take you to work."

Erin climbed the stairs and entered the office. She checked her e-mails and listened for Alex on the steps. The sound never came and Erin endured a silent six minute drive into town when the pair left the house.

Parking in front of the Police Sub-division, Erin observed Alex scurry out of the vehicle and into her office next door. "Bloody hell," she cursed while getting out and heading inside the station.

Ten minutes passed before Martin Simpson arrived and reported on the activities of the past three weeks.

-o-

At lunch time, Erin left Martin in charge of Deputies Reed Moore and Faith York while she purchased a bunch of flowers from the supermarket two blocks down then visited Alex's office.

As she stepped inside, Erin was greeted by court clerk Penny O'Hara, "Well hello Sheriff. It's nice to see you back in town. I hope your father is feeling better."

"Hi Penny and he's fully recovered from his bout of pneumonia."

"That's pleasing news. If you're looking for your wife, she is in a meeting with Attorney Clarke."

"Oh okay, I won't bother her then. Can you please give her these from me?"

"I will and that explains her surliness in court this morning."

"My fault I'm afraid."

The auburn haired woman in her mid-twenties grinned, "She missed you terribly."

"I missed her too, I'll see you later."

"Bye Sheriff Taylor."

Erin stopped outside the door and realised she really had missed Alex and her words weren't just a hollow reply. Deciding to take her walk around town early, Erin radioed Martin and advised him of her change of plans.

-0-

Alex glared at Tony Clarke as the forty five year old, dark haired man waffled on about why he was late for his ten o'clock court appearance. "Counsellor, they invented the cell phone years ago, you should have called my clerk and advised her you were running late."

"Yes Your Worship."

"I'll see you at two sharp," instructed Alex as she stood and moved towards the door, indicating the meeting was over.

"I'll be there."

Opening the door, Alex instantly spotted the red roses on Penny's desk, "Is your husband in the dog house again?"

"No, but apparently your wife is."

Clarke chuckled as he left the building.

"The Sheriff told me she missed you," added a smiling Penny while handing over the flowers.

For a brief moment, Alex wished that were true. She knew Erin was only covering for the fact there was tension between them. "I'll put them in a vase," she said before going into the small break room.

When she came back, Penny commented, "I wish my Joe got that sparkle in his eyes like your wife gets when she talks about you."

"She did?"

"Of course she did, she loves you madly."

Alex grinned broadly at the news, "Yes she does."

-o-

Opening the car door for Alex later that afternoon, Erin beamed when the blonde said, "Thank you for the roses."

"I don't like it when we fight Alex."

Penny locked the office door and called out, "FOR GOODNESS SAKES, KISS AND MAKE UP YOU TWO."

Alex wrapped her arms around Erin's neck and pressed her lips to the brunette's. The kiss was swift and Erin pulled back to look into blue orbs.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"No, it means we're being watched."

Erin leaned in and captured Alex's mouth in a heated kiss and tight embrace that didn't stop until she heard Penny's footsteps retreat. "I suppose that was a decent show," she snapped while walking around to the driver's side.

Alex remained quiet for the trip home and once Erin parked the car, the Deputy went straight to the downstairs bathroom.

Walking upstairs to the bedroom, Alex gasped when she saw the five garment bags spread out on the bed. Reading the Donna Karan labels on the bags, she unzipped the closest one. Inside was a tailor made black pants suit. The second contained a light grey skirt suit and the third a camel hair overcoat. Opening the fourth, Alex found five button down shirts in pink, dark blue, sky blue, yellow and lilac. The last bag held a navy blue and white pin striped pants suit. In front of the pillows were five shoe boxes that bore the names Jimmy Choo and Prada. Two contained high heel boots and the other three a pair of grey, black and navy blue kitten heels.

Alex turned around to find Erin standing in the doorway, "Why did you buy me all this?"

"I wanted you to have something nice to remind you of who you really are."

"This isn't protocol Erin."

"No, it's a friend giving a friend a gift to make her feel better about herself. I saw how happy you were to be involved with the law again and wanted to witness that confidence and arrogance you get in a courtroom."

Tears filled Alex's eyes, "Erin, I don't know what to say."

"There's no need to say anything."

"How did you afford all this?"

"I own my apartment and this place. I don't have anything else to spend my money on, so I have a healthy bank balance."

"There has to be over five thousand dollars' worth of items here."

"Alex, just accept it and don't be concerned with the cost."

"Thank you."

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't wait to say goodbye to you."

"Why didn't you and why didn't you tell me you'd been promoted? I had to find out from Nathan."

Pain gripped Erin's chest, "Because none of this is real. I'm your guardian and yes, I'm your friend too, but I can't allow myself to fall into the trap of thinking you and I are anything more than that."

Alex stormed over to the Deputy, "Fuck your protocol and ethics. I feel more than friendship for you and you know it. I lie awake in that bed at night and pray for you to come to me."

"Answer me this Alex, what if I step over that line and we are together for a period of time then you are free to resume your life in New York, what becomes of us? Would you be willing to openly live a life with me?"

Alex hesitated for one brief moment.

"There's your answer. I would rejoice in being open about you wherever we were and being here and pretending the way we have been, is bloody breaking my heart. When you kiss me, I want to know it's genuine and not part of a role we are forced to play."

Fury rose in Alex and she squared her shoulders, "Don't you think I want the same thing?"

"Alex, you loved Olivia for three years and hid your relationship like some kind of dirty secret. Only a handful of people were aware you were a couple."

"That's true, but that was before all this happened, before I met you."

"Are you saying you would be truthful about your sexuality if you returned to New York?"

"Yes. Jesus Erin, what more do I have to do to make you understand how much you mean to me? I've flirted with you non-stop since we arrived here and I got upset when you left and didn't even call me once."

Erin finally let go and reached for a crying Alex. She pulled her close and made an admission of her own, "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"You."

"I'm not aiming to hurt you Erin."

"Everyone I've ever loved has either left me or died."

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here with you."

The confessions ended when Erin's phone trilled, "It's Martin, I have to take it."

"Go ahead."

Detaching the cell off her belt, Erin answered, "What's up Martin?"

_"I'm at Providence Hospital with Luke. He fell out of the tree in the backyard while playing and broke his arm and leg."_

"Blimey, is he all right?"

_"He's in surgery now having his leg pinned, but will be okay."_

"I'm relieved to hear that Martin. Don't come into work tomorrow and take as much time as you need. If you and Emma require anything, let me know."

_"Thanks Erin, I really appreciate it."_

"You are welcome and I'll visit the hospital in the morning."

_"Okay, bye."_

Erin told Alex what had happened then said, "I need a shower then I'd like to take you out for dinner and a movie."

Alex cheerfully pointed out, "That will be our third date."

"Yes it will."

"By the way, you can use the upstairs bathroom."

"Don't you want to use it?"

"Yes, but I want to call Penny and reschedule the ten o'clock hearing for tomorrow morning to two, so I can go to the hospital with you."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For having this conversation without getting too angry."

A brilliant bright smile spread across Alex's face, "Your calmness must be rubbing off on me."

"Perhaps and we can continue this talk later."

"I look forward to it and I want us to work things out."

"I do too Alex."

-0-

The anticipated discussion was put on hold for the night after Erin was called out to an assault after dining at Johann's Restaurant. Alex rode to the incident with Erin and remained in the car while the Sheriff dealt with the matter.

By the time the couple arrived home, both were exhausted and retired to their respective beds for the evening.

-0-

**Eklutna Park Drive **

**Eagle River, Alaska**

**1100 hours Tuesday 19****th**** July, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Erin dropped Alex off to her office then continued on to the Fuller property out on Beaujolais Drive. Mark Fuller had called Erin while she was driving out of the hospital parking lot and complained about a wolf lurking around his place and terrorising his dairy cattle.

When she arrived at the farm, Erin collected the rifle from the rear compartment of her truck and ambled over to the dairy shed. She found Mark talking to one of his workers, Rod Turk.

"Good morning chaps," she said in greeting.

"Hey Sheriff," the two men chorused.

"So what makes you think you have a wolf visiting Mark?"

"Just before dawn I heard this commotion down at the barn. The cows were making a lot of noise, so I grabbed my rifle and went for a look. There was barking going on and I spotted a wolf running through the paddocks when I turned up. I also found paw prints in the dirt."

Rod huffed, "You should have shot the pest."

"Rod," said Mark. "They are a protected species, that's why I called Sheriff Taylor; she has the authority to put the pest down."

"Mark, I don't believe it was a wolf."

"Why not, it was white."

"Let's go have a look at the prints, shall we."

Mark led Erin down to the back of the barn and she knelt to examine the tracks. When she straightened up, she followed the prints to the fence line.

Mark stayed by her side with interest, "So why don't you think it's a wolf?"

"If one was hunting for food it would have stalked your herd quietly and singled out the smallest cow. It would have brought it down, not have a stroll through the barn, besides, wolfs don't bark, they howl or growl. Your culprit is a domesticated dog and by the way both incoming and outgoing tracks lead to and from the side fencing, I'd say it's one of your neighbour's animals."

Mark's forehead furrowed, "Ross owns a bunch of dogs, so I guess that's possible."

"I'll go have a quiet word to him about keeping his dogs at home. My guess is the dog was just having a good look around and you managed to scare him off without trying."

"Okay and sorry to call you all the way out here for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing and it's not that uncommon for wolves to be hunting for food this time of year."

"Well anyway, thanks for your trouble Sheriff and I suppose I still have a lot to learn about the area since moving here last winter."

Erin smiled at the likable man, "I'll see you later."

"Will you and your wife be attending the dance Saturday night?"

"I haven't discussed it with Alex yet."

"It should be a good turn out and would be a great opportunity for you to meet a few more of the locals."

"It would, so I guess I'll see you there."

-0-

Erin was in the bedroom dressing in track pants and a white tank top when she saw movement outside the balcony doors. She ran to the top of the stairs and yelled out, "HEY ALEX, COME UP HERE QUICK."

Putting down the knife she was using to prepare dinner with, Alex ascended the steps and found Erin out on the balcony looking through a pair of binoculars.

"Is someone here Erin?"

"We have some migrants passing through." Erin pointed to the far fence line, "Right there." She watched the expression of joy on Alex's face and swore she had never seen her look so beautiful before. Erin handed her the binoculars and stepped to the side.

"Oh Erin, they are magnificent." Alex took a closer look at the two adult black bears and their cub as they ambled along.

Erin moved in behind Alex and draped her arms around the 24 inch waist, "They will be on the move back to their den after storing up their food supply for the winter."

Alex leaned back into Erin, "When do they hibernate?"

"Between November and March for the female and the males usually become active again in late January."

"Thank you for sharing this with me."

"It's nice to be able to Alex. Have you heard about the dance Saturday night?"

"Yes, Penny won't shut up about it."

"Would you like to be my date?"

"I would," answered Alex as she lowered her arms and rested them on top of Erin's. "This feels lovely."

"Yes it does."

The blonde turned around, "I better get back to cooking dinner."

"Just wait; there is something else I'd like to show you. Turn around."

Alex did and watched in silence as the sun started to lower and create a spectacular light show, "It's beautiful."

Erin murmured into the back of Alex's ear, "So are you."

Alex's skin rose up with goose bumps and she sighed, "This is so much better than Wausau, thank you."

"Alex," whispered Erin in a shaky voice.

Alex ran a hand over Erin's, "I know you're not ready."

Tears stung the back of Erin's eyes, "I don't know why I can't let go."

"It will be okay and although it is frustrating, I admire your loyalty to your job."

"Maybe my heart and head will work it out soon."

"Time is on our side sweetheart."

"Alex, look to your right."

"Are those caribou or moose?"

"Caribou."

"I'm going to have to buy a camera. It appears to be a busy track."

"It is and we can look for a camera tomorrow."

"I better see to dinner."

Erin kissed Alex's ear, "I'll give you a hand."

-0-

A tipsy Alex opened the refrigerator and reached for a bottle of water, "Do you want one babe?"

Erin secured the side door and walked into the kitchen, "No thanks, I'm off to the shower. All that dancing made me sweaty."

"You're a good dancer," voiced Alex while heading towards the staircase.

"So are you, but you've had more practice then me."

"One of the necessities of high society, does that bother you?"

"What, the fact that you're blue bloodied?"

"Yes."

"No Alex and you wear it well."

"It used to bug Olivia at the start, but then she got used to it."

"Do you still miss her?"

Alex climbed the stairs, "Only occasionally. It was her you made to promise to, wasn't it?"

"Yes, she asked me to take care of you."

"She is a wonderful woman."

Erin turned towards the hallway while Alex entered the bedroom.

The light in the bedroom was still glowing when Erin passed by fifteen minutes later. She knocked on the door and waited.

"Come in."

Erin stepped inside, "I just wanted to thank you for an enjoyable night."

"I should be thanking you, it was your idea," responded Alex from her position in bed.

Erin rubbed the back of her neck and tried to ease the knot, "Martin invited us over to his place for dinner next Saturday."

"I really like him and his wife Emma."

"I do too and I'll let him know on Monday."

"Is your neck giving you trouble?"

"I must have slept awkwardly on it last night; it's been in a kink all day."

Alex sat up, "Come sit over here and I'll massage it out for you."

"Thanks."

Alex pulled back the covers and Erin sat on the edge of the bed. Moving onto her knees, Alex positioned herself behind Erin and with deft thumb strokes; she gradually worked out the knot.

"You have good hands Alex that feels much better."

"I'm glad I could help."

Erin got to her feet and turned around, "Goodnight."

"You could always save yourself from further neck pain by sleeping here."

"Okay, but no hogging the blankets."

Once Erin was settled in the king size bed, Alex turned off the lamp, "Goodnight Erin."

"Pleasant dreams Alex."

-0-

Erin continued to share the bed with Alex as well as take her out at least once or twice a week. The friendship between the two women strengthened as the months of August, September, October and November made way for December. Snow fall became a daily occurrence as was the drop in temperature.

Months previous, Erin and Alex had chopped enough wood to last the winter cold and Alex took a well-earned holiday from work when the courthouse closed for the festive season.

Erin woke on Christmas morning to find Alex had already gotten out of bed. After showering and dressing, she raced downstairs.

Alex was sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace and sipping from a mug. She was deep in thought as Erin stood behind the five seater lounge and gently traced her fingers through golden tresses.

"This is the hardest day for me too," confessed Erin with a sob.

Alex reached up and interlocked their hands, "You know me too well. I miss my family Erin."

Leaning over, Erin pecked blonde hair, "I know honey and I wish you could be with them."

Squeezing tight, Alex let go and stood, "I do too."

"Your present is under the tree."

"Oh, when did you sneak that in?"

"I took the opportunity when we got home from Martin's last night."

"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten me," taunted Alex while going to the Christmas tree.

Erin scoffed, "No, I was keeping it safe from your prying eyes. I caught you peeking under the tree yesterday."

Alex carefully moved aside the presents for the Simpson and O'Hara families and located two gift wrapped boxes bearing her name.

Erin went into the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea. She grabbed a pancake from the stack Alex had prepared earlier and returned to the living room.

Alex was standing beside the window and looking out towards the snow covered hills. She turned to Erin, "Thank you for the presents."

"Why do you look like you are about to cry?"

"Erin, I'm confused."

"What about?"

"Us."

"Alex, that's the last thing I want to do. Talk to me and tell me what is troubling you."

Alex sat down beside Erin, "At times I feel so close to you and when you buy me an expensive watch and diamond earrings, I long to tell you how I feel."

"I know I've made it difficult for you and I apologise for not finishing the conversation we started months ago."

"Erin, it's starting to hurt to be around you and not be able to touch you."

Erin's heart stopped pumping as the expression of agony on Alex's face broke down the last of her defences. Putting down her cup and plate, she stood then straddled Alex's thighs. "I can't bear to hurt you," she declared before cupping her right hand behind Alex's head. "I love you and want to be with you. I want you to touch me any time you want."

Tears fell unchecked from Alex's eyes, "You've given me the best present ever. I've loved you since we arrived here and can't imagine my life without you."

"I don't want a life without you."

Erin seized Alex's lips in a tender kiss and savoured the softness of the blonde's mouth on hers. Relishing the freedom to allow her love for the woman in her arms to flow, Erin moaned. She trembled when Alex sucked on her bottom lip and ran hands under her shirt.

The couple exchanged kisses for over twenty minutes before Erin leaned back and locked onto dilated eyes.

"We only have an hour before our guests arrive and I need to check the turkey."

Alex smiled, "Is that your way of saying we don't have time?"

With a smirk, Erin replied, "Yes unfortunately."

"I've waited eighteen months to make love to you, so I suppose I can wait until tonight."

"It's been a little longer for me, but for now, I need to get to work in the kitchen."

"I'll make the eggnog and you can open your present."

"I think I need to kiss you more."

"Merry Christmas sweetheart."

"A very Merry Christmas to you too babe."

-0-

Alex twirled the diamond and gold pendant that was falling loose around Erin's neck and inquired, "How did you manage to buy my presents?"

Erin rested against the counter edge, "I purchased them when I was on leave. What about you?"

"I called Lewis from my office and enlisted his help then sent him some money."

"That was rather resourceful of you darling."

"Thanks and dinner was really nice, but I'm glad we're alone."

"I'll finish putting away the leftovers if you want to go up and shower," suggested Erin.

"Okay honey."

Erin goosed Alex and cheerfully warned her, "You better not start without me."

"Well, I'm used to starting and finishing without you," teased the blonde as she neared to stairs.

"I promise to make up for that."

"I hope so," uttered Alex as she ascended the steps.

-0-

To Erin's great amusement, Alex was sound asleep and naked in bed when she entered the bedroom. Stripping off, Erin went to the bathroom and showered.

Once she was comfortable in bed, she extinguished the light and curled into Alex's back.

Alex stirred awake and rolled over to face Erin, "I'm sorry I'm tired."

"Shush baby, it's been a long day. Go back to sleep."

Nuzzling into Erin's neck, Alex declared, "You feel so good."

"So do you Alex."

"Mmm, I love you."

Chuffed by the drowsy admission, Erin replied, "I love you too, goodnight."

Alex let out a soft snore and Erin smiled. Content with disclosing her love for Alex, Erin slept soundly for the first time in a long time.

-0-

Erin reached for the gun under her pillow when she heard the perimeter fence alarm sound. Jumping out of bed, she directed a startled Alex, "Get dressed and lock yourself into the gun safe. Don't open the door unless I give you the password."

Alex followed the instructions as Erin quickly dressed then rushed into the office. Looking at the monitors, she located an image of the western section of the fence that had collapsed under the weight of the overnight snow fall. Turning off the alarm, she went to the armoury and shouted, "MARY POPPINS."

The door slid open and a gun toting Alex remarked, "God lord that got the adrenalin pumping."

"It's supposed to babe. Go watch the cameras and follow me while I go mend the fence."

"Honey, it's four o'clock in the morning, can't it wait?"

"No, we can't afford to leave a breach. If for any reason this happens to be a ruse and I go down, I want you to follow all precautions and phone the station for help. Reed is on duty tonight and only six minutes away."

"All right Erin, but please be careful."

"I'll put my vest on then ride a ski over to the fence. If anything happens, promise me you'll act accordingly."

"I promise."

Erin quickly kissed Alex before running downstairs to gear up and grab the necessary tools and supplies required to fix the railings.

Making her way into the office, Alex sat in the chair and observed as Erin came into view on the snow ski. The headlights shone along the snow covered field and Alex wrung her hands with nervous anticipation.

Erin spotted the breach as the lights beamed onto the two foot section of fallen wire and wood. She turned towards the camera and gave Alex a "thumbs up" signal. Setting to work, Erin shovelled the snow away from around the structure then rewired the sensor and fencing.

Finally, she nailed in a new wooden top railing and checked its stability. Satisfied with her craftsmanship, Erin gathered the broken pieces and packed them into the compartment on the ski. Once the tools were collected, she made her way back to the house.

Alex switched on the alarm and went downstairs to get a drink. She popped her head into the garage and found Erin putting the equipment back into the cabinet. "The alarm's been activated honey."

"Great and I'll clear off all the other railings later."

"Aren't you going back to bed?"

"I have to make a call to HQ and explain the breach. It won't take long, I don't want them calling here and asking all kinds of questions."

"Wouldn't they have seen you on camera?" reasoned Alex.

"Yes, but they'll need verbal confirmation it was actually me." Erin pulled off her jacket and hung it up before going up to the office.

Five minutes later, she crawled back into bed and Alex wrapped an arm around her and yawned.

Snuggling in, Erin praised her, "You did really well."

"I had a good teacher."

Chuckling, Erin replied, "Go to sleep, you can barely keep your eyes open."

"Goodnight honey."

"Pleasant dreams Alex."

-0-

**Eklutna Park Drive **

**Eagle River, Alaska**

**0700 hours Monday 26****th**** December, 2005**

**Chung chung**

Erin left Alex to sleep while she showered. She was rinsing off the soap suds when she heard Alex enter the room.

"Have you got enough room in there for me?"

"I think I might be able to squeeze you in."

Alex slid back the screen door and Erin took one look and lost all cognitive thought. Five foot ten of blonde beauty was gloriously on display and Erin knew one kiss from the woman would send her into a tailspin and straight to an orgasm. Her eyes roamed over the broad, slim shoulders and sculptured arms then across the 34 inch bust.

Erin lingered there for a moment to admire the pert B cup mounds and small, stiff nipples. Lowering her eye line, she took in the slender waist and flat stomach before gazing upon the short, thin vertical line of blonde curls.

"Oh dear heavens above Alex, you are so exquisite."

"Once I shower, I'm all yours," replied the grinning goddess.

"In that case I need to get out or I'll ravish you."

"You can do that some other time; I want our first time together to be in a bed."

Erin stepped past the temptress and grabbed a towel, "I'll wait for you in there."

Alex kept the screen open and watched Erin dry herself. Her libido was in top gear as the brunette ran the cloth over compact breasts then down along rippled stomach muscles.

"Oh god Erin, you are so chiselled," declared Alex while her eyes took in the cut of Erin's iliac furrows running along her hips.

Erin looked up at her admirer, "Do you like that?"

Sucking on her bottom lip for a second, Alex gulped then answered, "Yes, very much so. Your physique is magnificent."

"So is your Alex. We are basically the same size."

"You're more toned and defined than me."

"Not really, you've built up your muscles nicely since we've been here."

"It must be the extra gym sessions." Alex looked on as Erin dried off her lower regions. "Do you shave?" she inquired as her body shivered and her mind wandered to X-rated images.

"No wax."

"Mmm, I like it."

"If you don't stop gawking at me I'll need another shower," taunted Erin as she hung up the bath sheet.

"Honey, is that a bruise on your back?"

Erin turned and glanced in the mirror, "Oh that was from the other day when I slipped on some ice on the sidewalk."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Babe, it didn't hurt and I forgot it was there."

Alex's face softened, "Erin."

"Yes?"

"Are you sure about all this?"

Leaning up against the counter, Erin stared at Alex, "Yes and I'll be handing in my letter of resignation in the New Year."

Alex dropped the shower gel, "What?"

"I'll be resigning at the end of next week."

"Why would you do that?"

"I'll be breaking every rule there is concerning WitSec, not to mention Marshal Protocol."

"Hold on a minute," began Alex while turning off the water. "Don't you think we should discuss this before you go tossing away your career?"

"What's there to talk about? If I engage in a relationship with you then I can't stay here as your protection and will have to make application to join you as your girlfriend. Hopefully the hierarchy will allow it."

Alex reached for a towel, "Why does anyone but us need to know about our relationship? Erin, we are posing as a married couple, there is no reason to tell anyone."

"I'll know Alex."

"I'm not going to allow you to resign because you feel you have to disclose your love for me. Why can't we just continue the charade until we can return to New York?"

Erin's eyes filled with tears and her heart ached, "Alex, I can't lie about our situation."

Alex finished drying off and angrily pulled on her robe, "Wake the fuck up, you lie every single day by pretending to be someone you're not."

"That's different and you know it."

"No I don't. We are living as a happily married couple doing jobs we are both over qualified for and playing all lovey dovey in front of people who have become our friends. There's your lie Erin. The only one truth is that we love each other and if you tell your boss the truth there is the big possibility you'll be shipped off to some bum fuck place in god knows where."

Alex stormed out of the room and down the hallway.

Erin dressed and followed after her. She walked into the bedroom and stood by while Alex finished putting on her clothes.

With heaving shoulders, the blonde turned to Erin and pleaded, "Why can't we continue with just us knowing?"

"Alex, it's our private life we are talking about and I'd like to at least be truthful about the one aspect that I can control."

"Fine, have it your way and there is nothing to report to the office. We are not going to have any kind of relationship other than Deputy and asset. So there goes your conflict of fucking interest."

"Alex, please don't feel that way."

"Just like you pointed out, it's the one thing I do get to control."

"You're being unreasonable."

"No, I'm being honest. I refuse to take the risk you will eventually blame me as the reason you gave up your career. This is just the final straw of this whole god awful mess and you, Deputy Do Right, can get out of my room. I don't need your protection at the moment."

Unwilling to continue the hurtful argument, Erin backed out of the room and went downstairs. She knew it was a mistake to have fallen in love with Alex under the circumstances and there was only one thing she could do to stop the pain in her chest.

-0-

Giving in to heartache, Alex sat on the side of the bed and bawled. She recalled the conversation she and Erin had had long ago about being open and realised she was doing the complete opposite to what she had said back then. Alex knew it was a different situation and neither of them could afford to reveal the truth. By denying their love, it guaranteed they would stay together in Eagle River. That in itself, was the only solution.

Erin stoked the fire and added two small logs. She sat on the couch for some time before climbing the stairs and e-mailing James Bradford at home. Going to the doorway of the bedroom, she looked in on Alex. Her heart tore in two as heavy sobs wracked the blonde's frame.

Silently, Erin went and knelt in front of Alex and wrapped her arms around Alex's thighs. Placing her head on top of the blonde's knees, Erin wept.

After the passing of several minutes, soft caress fell upon her left shoulder and her body shook with uncontrollable misery. No words passed between the couple for over an hour until Erin's ringing phone shattered the silence.

Standing up, she withdrew her phone from the pocket of her pants then sat down beside Alex. She reached for her trembling hand as she answered, "Hello, Taylor speaking."

_"Erin, James Bradford."_

"Yes sir."

_"This is not an official conversation, so you can drop the formalities."_

"Okay James."

_"I just finished reading your e-mail."_

"I didn't know how to proceed and remembered you'd mentioned how you met your wife."

James chuckled, _"So you need my advice?"_

"Yes, it seems I've landed myself in quite the mess."

_"Do you love her?"_

"Yes, I love her deeply."

_"Is the feeling mutual?"_

"Yes."

_"There is no need for you to give notice Erin. You are in the unique position of being seen as a couple, so use that to your advantage. Have your emotions for her jeopardised your task of protecting her?"_

"No, in fact the opposite, I'm more diligent than I've ever been."

_"Then I suggest you do what I did twenty five years ago. Keep your mouth shut as far as HQ is concerned and marry the woman for real once she is no longer at risk."_

Erin grinned at Alex, "I believe I'll take that advice."

_"Good, by the way, my transfer has been rescinded until further notice, so I'm still your contact."_

"That's excellent news for me and I really appreciate your help James."

_"You're welcome and just remember you'll be relived again January thirtieth for your six month break. I'll be sending Lewis as your replacement for the two weeks, so you'll be able to stay there if you want."_

"Thank you and I'll take up that option."

_"I thought you would, goodbye Erin."_

"Goodbye James."

Erin put her phone on the side table and squeezed Alex's hand, "I sent Bradford an e-mail outlining my dilemma and offered to quit."

Alex smiled through her tears, "I gather from the conversation he advised against that course of action."

"Yes, he actually met his wife Renee through WitSec 25 years ago."

"So what are you trying to tell me?"

With features softening, Erin answered, "I love you and don't want to lose you, so I keep that fact a secret just between us for the time being."

"Oh so you've come to your senses then?"

Erin chuckled at the brazen comment and leaned over to kiss Alex on the neck, "I have indeed."

Alex fell back onto the bed and dragged Erin with her, "So we finally get to make love?"

An enormous grin appeared on Erin's face, "James suggested I marry you for real once the threat against you is over." She placed a hand under Alex's head and locked onto her eyes.

"Is that the best you can do as a proposal?"

"Oh, I can do much better, but not right now and I'm really sorry for upsetting you."

"You're forgiven, but can we promise not to allow either of our careers to interfere with how we feel?"

"I promise darling."

"Mmm, have I ever told you how sexy your accent is?"

"Actually you haven't."

Alex pulled Erin closer, "Well it is and I'm very happy with your decision."

"So am I Alex, so am I."

"Please make love to me sweetheart."

Erin responded by capturing Alex's warm lips in a slow, tender kiss. She groaned richly when Alex took her right hand and moved it to the sash of the robe.

As tongues duelled for dominance, Alex slipped her hands under Erin's shirt and lifted it up along her back.

Erin sat up and got off the mattress. She swiftly divested herself of clothing and said, "Alex, move back up the bed babe."

Alex did and welcomed the feel of Erin as she straddled her thighs. The brunette reached down and untied the sash then opened the robe. She stopped and gazed at glistening pools of blue, "I love you Alexandra Grace Cabot. Will you be my wife in marriage when the time is right?"

"Yes I will darling and I love you so much."

Erin's eyes filled with tears as Alex pushed the robe off and dropped it over the side of the bed. The droplets fell as the brunette lowered herself onto Alex's body, "I apologise for anything I may do wrong from this moment on, it's been some time."

Alex moaned as she parted her legs and Erin's wetness mingled with hers, "Somehow I don't think you'll forget anything."

Erin's lips sought out Alex's and as the kiss ignited, Erin slowly pushed into Alex.

"Oh sweet lord," mumbled Alex in between kisses. "That feels so damn good."

Adjusting her position slightly, Erin opened herself and pressed her swollen clitoris against Alex's. With deep kisses, she thrust a little faster and Alex dug her nails into hard shoulder muscles.

Erin set a steady pace before smooching her way to Alex's right ear, "Is this good for you?"

In reply, Alex arched her back, "Yes, it's wonderful."

"I want you to tell me what you like."

Alex's fingers travelled down Erin's back and clutched her buttocks, "I like what you are doing."

"Oh heavens, I do too."

Erin lowered her lips to the flesh of Alex's lobe and suckled.

Alex's grip tightened and her breathing deepened. She pulled Erin closer and the brunette rocked back and forth faster.

She kissed down Alex's slender neck and felt the wetness between her labia increase when Alex pleaded, "Mark me baby."

Erin settled her mouth on her lover's collar bone and sucked the skin between her lips, bruising the flesh then soothing it with a gentle swipe of her tongue.

"Yes," cried Alex as her body tensed and her back reared up once more. "Oh dear god Erin ... yes … oh sweet Jesus."

Seizing Alex's lips in fiery kiss, Erin almost cried when tremors took over both their bodies and took them on a journey together. Alex hungrily kissed Erin back as her climax subsided.

Moments passed before Erin made her way down to Alex's chest and teased the rigid right nipple on display with her mouth. In turn, Alex grabbed onto Erin's head and felt the stirrings of another orgasm rise.

Erin savoured the taste of Alex's skin for a while before running the blade of her tongue over the slightly darker and pebbled areola. Alex arched up in an attempt to gain some kind of contact with Erin's torso. To her dismay, Erin hunched her body up and away from her centre.

With delicate pecks, Erin traced along Alex's ribs then encircled her navel.

Alex was ready to explode as a deft tongue slowly swirled along her skin. "Oh Erin," she whispered.

Erin inched downwards and swished her tongue and lips over the small clod of short, drenched blonde curls.

"Yes baby, that' so good," praised Alex as her hands clutched the bed covers. She twitched when Erin ran her mouth over her labia and inserted her tongue between engorged lips.

Erin shuddered as she tasted the sweet essence of her lover. Tiny ripples of pleasure washed over her as she lapped up the fluid and she came unstuck when Alex sat up and gripped her head.

Devouring the wetness, Erin slipped her tongue inside the opening and was rewarded with a gush of liquid and a loud cry from Alex three minutes later. Licking upwards, Erin slowly made her way to Alex's heavily panting chest. She rested her head under the blonde's chin and wrapped her right arm across the flat belly.

Alex was still shaking sporadically and her breathing laboured as she managed to lift her hand to gently caress Erin's lower back. She cussed when Erin's phone rang, "Fuck, not now."

Reluctant to move, Erin begrudgingly rolled over and grabbed the cell phone from the bedside table, "Erin speaking."

_"Sorry to bother you Sheriff,"_ answered Deputy Reed Moore. _"But a fight's broken out at Tips Bar over on Old Glenn Highway and I need backup."_

"How many patrons are involved?"

_"About thirty at last count, York and Simpson are on their way."_

"Okay, I'll be there in fewer than ten. Stay out of the place until all hands are on deck."

_"You got it Sheriff."_

"Sorry babe, I have to run. There's a brawl in town," explained Erin as she got off the bed.

"I'll fetch a uniform while you shower."

Taking a moment, Erin kissed Alex, "Thank you."

In less than three minutes, Erin was heading for the garage door, "Don't forget to turn the sensors back on once I'm clear of the gate."

"I won't baby and be careful."

"I'll call when I can and blimey woman," remarked Erin before grinning foolishly then kissing Alex goodbye.

"I didn't do anything."

"Oh yes you did, now be safe my love."

"I love you Erin."

"I love you too."

-o-

Erin met her three Deputies outside the bar and noted, "We are hopelessly outnumbered here, so we go in and show ourselves but do not engage anyone or try to break fighters apart. Let them tire each other out before we start separating them."

Faith, Reed and Martin all retrieved their batons and nodded.

Gripping a bullhorn in her left hand, Erin opened the door to the loud noise of crashing furniture, shouting and breaking glass. Surveying the room, she quickly counted thirty two men in various stages of fisticuffs. The bar owner Billy Tip was hiding behind the bar and raised his head momentarily before getting out of harm's way again.

Lifting the loud hailer to her mouth, Erin calmly announced, "Hey fellas, this is not the true Christmas spirit. You have two seconds to stop or we'll start breaking it up for you."

Surprisingly, most of the men desisted and stepped away from one another. Ten diehards continued to trade punches as Erin directed, "Go on lads, get out of here and go home to your families."

"Let's finish this up," she said to her Deputies.

All four circled the fast tiring males and Erin put down the bullhorn. She and the Deputies grabbed the back of the shirt of the fighter nearest to them and dragged them backwards.

"Stand by the counter," instructed Erin as she grappled another by the collar. "You're a bloody disgrace the lot of you."

"Jack started it," protested the man Erin currently had a hold of.

"I don't care; go stand over with your mates."

Two men remained in a clinch and Erin sidled up to Jack Gibson and reefed his arm back into an elbow lock.

"Are you deaf you big git?" she inquired.

"GET OFF ME," yelled the six foot two hulk defiantly.

Martin grabbed his other arm and walked him backwards to the bar counter with Erin.

"Sit down," Erin tranquilly ordered.

The ten patrons sat on the stools and held their hands to the various body parts that had been injured.

"Billy, how much damage do you reckon has been done?"

The stocky proprietor straightened up and looked around the room, "About the same as last time Sheriff."

"Rightio gents you heard the man; empty out your pockets and hope you come up with five hundred dollars between you."

Each man placed fifty dollars on the counter and Reed collected it. He handed the money over to Billy and stepped back.

Erin nodded and addressed the brawlers, "I don't care how this scrap started because it always seems to happen whenever you ten so called mates get together for a drink. I know you've just come off the trawler, but don't you think it would be nice if your families got to spend a little more time with you?"

Her comments were met with a series of nods and quiet agreement.

"Billy, are you satisfied or do you want them arrested and locked up?"

"I'm good Sheriff Taylor."

"Okay chaps; this is your last warning. Next time I'll charge you and put you in jail. Now clean up this bloody mess before you go home." Erin motioned for her Deputies to take a seat while they oversaw the tidy up.

"Billy, pour us four of your best sarsaparillas, my treat."

The barman laughed heartily, "I have to hand it to you Sheriff; you have a unique style."

"It saves on the paperwork and time for us and you're not left out of pocket for the repairs."

As Erin and her offsiders enjoyed their drinks, several patrons returned to lend a hand.

-0-

Walking into the kitchen, Erin found Alex at the stove. She hugged her from behind and planted a soft kiss on her neck, "It smells good babe."

"Thanks for calling and telling me you were on the way home."

"You're welcome and I'll just go change. I won't be long."

During the meal, Erin told Alex about the bar fight and Alex laughed at the outcome.

"This place is going to miss you as Sheriff."

"I'll miss it too, but that may not happen for some time."

"I know, Erin. Have you ever thought about children?"

Brown brows crept upwards at the out of the blue question, "You mean have them personally?"

"Yes."

"Not really Alex. Although I have to admit it would be nice to have a couple running around some day."

With a shrug, Alex changed topic, "When will I be left on my own?"

"You won't be; there will always be someone here."

Tears formed in blue eyes, "I'm worried that you will leave and not come back."

Erin stood and went to Alex. She knelt at the side of the chair and took hold of her hand, "We're engaged, so I won't be going anywhere. James' transfer was pulled, so he'll ensure you stay my assignment and Lewis is my relief next month and I can stay here for my break."

Alex's smile widened, "Phew, that's good news."

"Tell me, do you want children?"

"Yes, maybe in a few years. Will we be able to do that if I am still here?"

"We'll work it out babe. There will be times when I will have to leave, but only for a day or two when I am required to attend my physical and firearms proficiency testing."

"I understand and we are going to be just fine."

"Yes we are darling."

Alex got to her feet, "Do you want to help me with the dishes and have an early night?"

Straightening up, Erin embraced her, "I promise everything will be all right."

"I believe you."

-0-

Erin was holding onto soft blonde hair and digging her heels into the mattress as she prolonged her orgasm. Alex had held her on the periphery for some time and she wasn't ready to fall just yet. For the first time in nearly four years, Erin was once again experiencing intense ecstasy as Alex's mouth and tongue orally manipulated her.

Alex grazed her thumb over the stiff clitoris and slid her tongue up along the shaft and hood in a lazy rhythm.

"Oh bloody hell," whimpered Erin. "Alex ... now babe."

With the flat of her tongue, Alex pressed onto the hood and pushed it back then flicked the exposed tip languidly.

Erin fell into the sensation and her body tensed as fireworks ignited into bright shards of white behind her closed eyes. Her release spurted from her and Alex groaned loudly as she gathered it on her lips.

"Please don't stop Alex," implored Erin as a second climax built. "I need you."

Alex continued with faster strokes and held Erin's hips down as her body started to lift and tremble.

"ALEX!" screamed Erin before going rigid then laying perfectly still.

Crawling along the mattress a short time later, Alex draped her arms around Erin and softly kissed her clavicle. The gentle pecks turned to sucks then Alex marked the area with her teeth.

Erin gasped as she felt the sharp pain followed by the light brush of a tongue, "I love you so much Alex."

"Mmm, I adore you. How do you feel?"

"I am very satisfied and loved."

Alex purred, "So am I baby." Sitting up, she reached for the covers and pulled them over her lover. She settled on Erin's chest and sighed contently.

"I'll go stoke the fire once I have control over my legs," offered Erin with a giggle.

Amused, Alex tittered against warm skin, "I can't believe you held on for all that time."

"After waiting for so long, I didn't want it to end."

"So you never masturbated once the entire last four years?"

"No."

"Have you ever done it for a lover?"

"Yes I have, but not since my last girlfriend."

"When was that?"

"Five years ago."

"Wow, you really do have incredible will power. I go insane if I can't release the tension."

"I have noticed your spirited frustration a few times over the years."

Alex kissed Erin's throat, "You were the cause of most of it."

"I recall you saying something about liking sex."

"I do, particularly with you. You're very accomplished in that area."

"You're extremely proficient yourself Alex."

"I have to warn you about my appetite."

"I kind of figured it was high."

"It is and how do you know?"

"When you were at the safe house for Connors' trial it was fairly obvious."

"Olivia and I complimented each other well."

Trying not to giggle, Erin suggested, "So I guess that means the pressure is on me to perform."

"Of course it isn't."

"When you are in a relationship, how many times a week is normal for you?"

Without a hint of embarrassment, Alex answered, "Twice a day, so fourteen or more."

Erin whistled, "That many, who would have thought."

"Do you think that is excessive?"

"No, if you factor in morning and night, that's pretty average."

"What about you?"

"I can't remember that far back," taunted Erin with a glint in her eyes.

"I like being able to discuss sex openly with you."

"I do too Alex and I never want you to think there is no subject we can't talk about."

"Thank you sweetheart."

"Excuse me babe, I need to use the bathroom and see to the fireplace. Do you want anything while I'm up?"

"A bottle of water would be good."

"Coming right up my lady."

Alex sighed as Erin left the warmth of the bed, so she got up and changed the linen. She was fluffing the pillows when Erin rushed into the room all excited.

"Put on your robe honey, we have visitors," explained a very naked Erin before dressing in boxers and a tank top.

"Who is it?" asked Alex while putting on her dressing gown.

"They're outside on the porch," replied Erin as she took Alex by the hand and led her downstairs.

When the couple reached the back door, Erin pulled aside the window blind, "See, there are a couple of little buggers by the railings."

Alex looked at the two small ground squirrels and smiled, "They're so cute, but how did they manage to find a bowl of peanuts on our porch?"

"Maybe your girlfriend snuck out there with one."

"I think my girlfriend is awesome for feeding them."

Erin snuggled into Alex's back and wrapped arms around her midriff, "We better pick up a ten pound bag of nuts from Safeway's tomorrow."

"Are you expecting more company?"

"Once the word is out, we'll be party central."

Alex laughed loudly at the reason and rotated, "You are so funny sweetheart. I remember when I couldn't even get a smile out of you."

"Ah yes the good old Wisconsin days."

"You were so stringent and always reminding me it was your job to keep your distance."

Caught up in the memory, Erin smirked, "How could I forget when all I wanted to do was rip off your clothes and ravish you on the kitchen table."

"I wouldn't have objected," teased Alex as she slipped her hands inside Erin's shirt.

"Oh really then hold on love, I'm about to make my number one fantasy come true."

Alex giggled as Erin picked her up and carried her to the dining room. She groaned richly when she was placed on the table and kissed soundly.

-0-

Seventy minutes elapsed before Erin stepped in behind Alex in the shower and snaked her arms around her lover's waist, "Are you ready for fantasy number two?"

"Oh sweet lord yes Erin."

"By the way my darling, you're going to find your quota for sex is in for a serious increase."

"Oh happy me," declared Alex before Erin suckled on the hollow of her throat.

-o-


	11. Chapter 11

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 11

**Eklutna Park Drive **

**Eagle River, Alaska**

**1159 hours Monday 9****th**** January, 2006**

**Chung chung**

Penny looked up from her desk when the door opened and grinned devilishly at the visitor, "Well good morning Sheriff Taylor."

"Morning Penny, how was your festive holiday?"

"A lot of fun and Joe actually enjoyed himself for a change."

"Las Vegas does have that effect on most people. Is Madam Magistrate in her chambers?"

"Yes she is and I'm going for lunch. I'll be back in an hour." Penny winked then collected her bag and overcoat.

"Thanks Penny, I owe you one."

"You can by me a drink at the dance Saturday night."

"You got a deal."

"Don't forget to lock the door behind me."

Erin walked the bubbly clerk to the exit then secured the lock. Seconds later she knocked on Alex's office door before opening it.

"Oh hello sweetheart," said a surprised Alex. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Hello babe, I have a spare hour and thought I'd drop by for fantasy number six." Erin took off her all-weather coat and draped it over a chair. She removed her parka and placed it on top of the jacket.

Anticipation caused Alex to gulp, "Oh honey, are you planning on making love to me on my desk?"

Erin's voice lowered, "Yes and in your chair followed by your filing cabinet."

"Good god Erin, I really do like your spontaneity and imagination."

"I'm happy to hear you say that because I have several more ideas."

Alex pushed back her chair and started to unbutton her silk shirt, "I love you, now come here Sheriff Sexy."

-0-

By the time Lewis arrived in Eagle River, Erin and Alex had managed to work their way through twenty listed fantasies. Lewis brought a DVD of messages from Tyrone, Joseph and Millie as well as a letter from Tyrone. Erin cried when she read how much Tyrone and Joseph missed her and laughed when Tyrone wrote how he had asked his father for a puppy to help him get over his sadness.

Alex held Erin's hand the entire time and suggested, "Why don't you go back for a few days and visit. I'll be fine and you are supposed to be on a break."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes sweetheart. I want you to go have some time with the boys and Millie."

Erin caressed the side of Alex's face and lovingly confided, "I love you and thank you for understanding."

Lewis cleared his throat and made a point, "Hello, I'm still in the room and it's about time you two sorted things out."

Erin turned to her best friend, "Sorry about that Lew, we've been on our own for so long we forgot you were here."

"You're forgiven and I'll organise a flight for tomorrow for you."

"Thanks and I'll stay for a week."

"You got it and the boys will be so thrilled to see you. That wife of mine will be pretty excited too."

-0-

Once Erin returned from New York and Lewis had left, she fell into a contented domestic life with Alex. When Valentine's Day arrived, Erin took Alex out to dinner at the local Italian restaurant followed by a speedy dash home to bed.

Two hours went by before Erin sprang out of bed and disappeared into the closet.

Alex was sitting up and propped up in front of her pillows when Erin came back, "What are you up to?"

Erin handed her a gift wrapped box and beamed, "Happy Valentines love."

Pursing her lips, Alex chided, "I thought we agreed on no presents."

"We did, but I owed you this one."

Alex's smile broadened when she unpacked a jewel box. She leaned into Erin and enquired, "You bought me an engagement ring?"

"Open it and find out."

Lifting the lid on the blue velvet case from Tiffany's, Alex's jaw dropped at the sight of two thin gold wedding rings and a three diamond setting ring, "Oh baby, they are wonderful."

"The bands are for when we officially wed." Erin removed the engagement ring and took hold of Alex's left hand, "I think it's time you wore this." She slipped the ring onto Alex's wedding finger and her next words were stifled by Alex's mouth claiming her lips.

-0-

The following morning Alex passed Penny a file and explained, "That's the Ferguson case due at ten."

Looking at the outstretched hand, Penny gasped, "Holy crap! That's a gorgeous ring. How come you've been hiding such a magnificent piece of jewellery?"

Alex blushed brightly, "Erin gave it to me yesterday."

"Why didn't she give it to you after you proposed?"

Alex answered with the lie Erin had told her to use, "She did, but I lost one of the stones some time ago and Erin finally had it replaced while visiting her father."

"Well she did a marvellous job. That's some serious chunk of stone."

"Three carats combined," bragged Alex without a hint of shame.

"I better get Joe to hang out with Erin more often and learn something about what women really want."

Alex giggled and patted her friend on the shoulder, "My wife is an expert in that field."

"Are you two planning on having children?"

"We hope to start in the next couple of years."

"You'd be awesome parents."

"Thank you Penny. What about you and Joe?"

"We have a five year plan, so hopefully they'll be an O'Hara offspring in two years' time."

"That sounds perfect."

After a brief conversation on motherhood, an ecstatic Alex returned to her office and prepared for the next court appearance.

-0-

Erin entered Arby's with a lunch order from the station and spotted Jack Gibson's wife in line at the counter, "Afternoon Julie."

"Hey Sheriff, I'd like to thank you for what you did for Jack back on Boxing Day."

"It was nothing."

"You saved his job, so that's something. His skipper told him he was on his last chance this shore leave and by not arresting him, he's finally woken up to himself."

Erin grinned at the news, "That's awfully good to hear."

"One beer a day he's down to and the kids are seeing more of him."

"Jack's a tough working man and it's easy to see how he fell into the trap of playing hard."

"Well you and your Deputies have this town's respect and that can only benefit us all."

"Thanks Julie and I'll pass on your kind words."

Glancing outside, Julie passed comment, "Looks like we are in for another storm tonight."

"I think you are right Julie and you're up."

-o-

Erin dropped off lunch to Penny and Alex before going to back to the station. After eating, she checked the weather forecast then phoned Alex with an update.

_"Magistrate Taylor speaking."_

"Hello babe."

_"Oh Erin, thanks for leaving lunch in the fridge."_

"You're welcome love. Listen, a pretty fierce snow storm is heading this way in about four hours. Will you be done by four o'clock?"

_"Yes sweetheart, my last hearing is at three. Do you want to get home early?"_

"Yes, I'd like to remove the snow off the fence before the next fall."

_"I'll give you a hand."_

"I knew you would. Can you give me a call as soon as you are ready to leave?"

_"Okay and can you pick up another bag of peanuts for our little family?"_

"Can do and that little family now consists of ten squirrels, two porcupines and four snowshoe hares. The back porch is a proverbial zoo these days."

Alex chuckled, _"Yes, but they are all so cute."_

"You're the cute one. Oh, are we okay for fruit for the family?"

_"Stocks are getting low, so you better grab extra."_

"Rightio love, see you soon."

_"Hey Sheriff Taylor."_

"What?"

_"I love you and you were so incredibly sexy this morning."_

Erin laughed loudly into the phone, "I love you too, bye."

-0-

Erin continued to fall deeper in love with Alex every day and their bond grew stronger. The porch menagerie also grew in population as did the number of hutches Erin built as shelter for the smaller animals.

As winter was replaced by spring, the occupants disappeared and Erin found herself missing them. Alex ribbed her endlessly and suggested they get a puppy to fill the void. Erin agreed and they drove out to Mike Patterson's property on Side Hill Lane to take a look at his four week old litter of Malamutes.

Alex instantly fell in love with the smaller male puppy and after the sale was complete, it was agreed the pair would return in four weeks' time to pick him up and take him home.

The couple were discussing names when Erin suddenly pulled off to the side of the road when blinding pain hit her left temple.

"What is it sweetheart?" asked an alarmed Alex.

Grabbing at her skull, Erin cried out in agony, "It hurts Alex."

"ERIN," shouted Alex, now in a panic.

"Help me babe, please," beseeched Erin as a darkness misted over her.

"Erin my darling, please come back to me," pleaded Alex in an emotionally strained tone.

Struggling against the blackness that engulfed her, Erin crawled her way towards the sound of her beloved's voice. "Alex," she murmured as the dark slowly began to fade. "Alex love," she rasped painfully against the lump in her throat.

"Ssh baby, don't try to talk," soothed Alex's words.

Erin finally mustered enough strength to open her eyelids. Her body felt heavy and she couldn't move, but she did feel the soft caress against her brow and tears began to fall from the corners of her eyes as Alex's bright blue orbs pushed past the blurriness.

"Relax Erin; the doctor is on the way."

Erin's forehead furrowed in question.

"You've been in an accident darling, but you are going to be all right now."

The fuzziness ebbed and Erin looked to the side and recognised hospital furniture. She turned her head to glance at Alex when she heard a strangled sob. The blonde's face was awash with tears and Erin slowly lifted her right arm. She touched Alex's wet face and choked out, "Love you."

"Oh god Erin, I love you so much." Alex clasped onto her girlfriend's hand and the weakness in Erin's muscles forced the limb to drop.

Confusion clouded her mind as she yielded to the draw of sleep.

-o-

**Room 6504**

**Mount Sinai Medical Centre **

**One Gustave L. Levy Place**

**Fifth Avenue, Manhattan**

**1245 hours Sunday 29****th**** October, 2006**

**Chung chung**

Erin woke to the sound of people chattering. She recognised two of the voices as Alex and Lewis. Opening her eyes, she realises she was now sitting up in bed and the discomfort in her throat was now replaced by a soreness. She looked at the two people she loved the most and tried to focus on talking.

"Alex," she said roughly. "What happened to me?"

Three heads turned towards her and Alex beamed while approaching the bedside.

"This is Doctor Blaine and he will explain everything to you."

Offering comfort, Alex held onto Erin's left hand as a middle aged, dark haired male stepped closer.

"Erin, I know this is all very confusing for you at the moment, but we need to take things slow."

"Is it possible to have a drink, my throat is dry?"

Alex picked up a plastic cup with a straw off the roll-away table and placed it to Erin's lips, "It's iced water honey, just take little sips."

Erin followed the direction until the scratchy sensation eased. Tilting her head back, she said, "Thank you babe. Why am I so weak and what are you doing in Anchorage Lewis?"

Lewis grimaced at the question, "Hey sweetness, let the doctor tell you."

"What's the last thing you remember Erin?" enquired Doctor Blaine.

Erin glanced down to Alex's hand and was relieved to see the engagement ring, but was mystified by the absence of her wedding band. Looking closer, she noticed Alex's hair was cut in a more feathered style in front and she was wearing rectangle shaped black rimmed glasses. Her mind wandered as she tried to recall the last time she had seen Alex wear glasses instead of contact lenses.

"Erin," repeated the doctor.

"Uhm, yes?"

"Did you hear my question?"

Erin closed her eyes and remembered the last words, "Yes, you asked me what my last memory was."

"Good, that's very encouraging."

"Alex and I were driving home from Mike Patterson's property after purchasing a puppy. I experienced a sharp pain in the left side of my head and pulled over. I asked Alex to help me and after that everything went black until I woke up before. Baby, where's your wedding ring?"

Alex stroked the back of Erin's hand with her thumb, "Sweetheart, just concentrate on what Doctor Blaine is saying."

"Okay sorry, I'm all over the place and finding it difficult to focus."

"That's to be expected under the circumstances."

Erin once again looked down at Alex's hands and saw how thin her own wrist was. Running her eyes along her arm, she noted her wasted muscles and panicked. She tried to get up, but her arms were unresponsive.

"Bloody hell, what's wrong with me?" she demanded in despair.

Doctor Blaine watched as the heart rate and blood pressure started to rise on the monitor, "Relax Erin, you need to settle down or I'll have to sedate you."

"ALEX!" screamed Erin before taking slower breaths in an effort to cease the questions bombarding her brain. "Am I paralysed?"

"No," replied the doctor in an encouraging tone. "You've been in a coma and your muscles have been inactive except for daily physiotherapy to stave off atrophy."

The news stalled Erin's thought process momentarily before she spoke, "Say what, a coma, for how long?"

"Nine months."

"Fuck," uttered an astonished patient before squeezing Alex's hand for reassurance. "Where am I?"

"Mount Sinai Hospital."

"New York?"

"Yes."

"Did I get transferred down here from Province?"

"No, you've been here the entire time."

Befuddled, Erin mumbled, "I don't understand."

Lewis placed a hand on Erin's shoulder, "You were in an accident and hit by a truck sweetness."

Panic was replaced by disillusionment, "What?"

Lewis continued with the explanation, "You were visiting with Millie and the boys when the four of you went ice skating in the park down from our house."

"I don't remember that."

"Tyrone was ahead of you on the pond when an out of control transport truck came crashing through the railings. You rushed to Tyrone and pushed him out of the way."

"Shit, is Tyrone all right? Please tell me he's fine."

"He is sweetness, but he's been worried about you. Millie's been bringing him and Joseph here every night to read you a bedtime story."

Tears dribbled down Erin's face, "I love those kids. So if I got hurt back in January, it must be October then?"

"That's correct," answered the doctor. "You suffered extensive trauma to your head when it struck the ice and the impact of the truck broke just about every bone in your body."

Erin looked to Alex and instantly cried harder.

The Neurosurgeon resumed his summary, "For the first three months you were in a full body cast while the fractures to your skull healed as did the other surgical procedures."

"There was more surgery?"

"Your spleen and appendix were ruptured and had to be removed. Your neck and spine sustained trauma and extensive bruising, but luckily, weren't fractured."

"What about my legs, will I be able to walk again Doctor?"

"With a fair amount of therapy, you should regain full mobility Erin."

"Blimey, there's something to look forward to. Why was I in a coma for so long?"

"Your brain wasn't ready to wake up your body until today. You had an awful lot of healing to do," explained Blaine.

"Mary Mother Margaret, so the past four months I've been dreaming about never occurred?"

"I'm afraid not Erin. I want to run a full series of tests on you, but it can wait until the morning. I think you've been through enough for today, so try to rest and I'll check in with you later."

With a smile of relief, Erin was full of gratitude, "Thanks for putting me back together Doctor Blaine."

"I had two teams of surgeons working alongside me and we can discuss it more in detail later."

"Okay, bye."

Once the doctor and nurse left the room, Lewis bent down and kissed Erin on the right cheek, "Welcome back sweetness, you've been missed."

"Shit a brick Lewis, I've so much to catch up on. Everything is just a bloody blur."

"You worry about that later; you just have to relax for a while."

"Who organised for you to be here Alex? Are you staying at a safe house?"

"Uhm no Erin, we'll discuss it after you have had a nap."

Rolling her eyes, Erin responded bluntly, "Babe, I've been asleep for nine bloody months, I'm not tired. Lewis, pull up a chair and tell me how you got the authority to have Alex brought here."

When Lewis was settled, he began with the particulars, "A month ago DEA Agent Hammond contacted Bradford."

"Hang on," interrupted Erin. "Alex, you've been here at the hospital for a whole month?"

With sparkling eyes, Alex replied, "Yes honey, I would have been here the entire time if allowed."

Erin smiled sweetly at the blonde, "Thank you babe. Go on Lewis, what does Hammond have to do with this?"

"He had news and paperwork for Alex. Nathan Willis was minding Alex at the time and was advised Agent Hammond was on his way to Eagle River."

"Not another bloody trial?"

"No," answered Alex. "It was better news than that. Velez had been shanked to death in prison and Connors extradited back to Ireland to face several counts of murder."

"Oh darling, I'd hug you if I could, that's just fantastic. So you've been out of WitSec for a month then?"

"Yes Erin and living in your apartment until I finalise the paperwork to have my money and apartment signed back over to me."

Erin turned to Lewis with a coy grin then back at her girlfriend, "I gather you discovered I rented out your apartment."

"Yes I did and I'm very grateful to you. I just need your signature to transfer ownership to me."

"I'll do it once I can manage to write."

Glancing at his wristwatch, Lewis checked the time, "I hate to leave, but I have to pick up Millie and the boys."

"I except to see them tonight," instructed Erin.

"I'll bring them by after dinner as per usual."

"Oh Lewis, is Bradford still in charge?"

"Yes and will be visiting you tomorrow."

"Right you are, see you later and I love you."

"I love you too, bye."

Lewis kissed both women farewell and Erin asked for another drink.

Once she was finished, she slowly reached for Alex's hand, "I bet I look ghastly."

"You are beautiful," answered Alex with fresh tears in her eyes.

"They shaved off my hair, didn't they?"

"Yes honey, Doctor Blaine had to perform a craniotomy to repair the bleeding and remove the splinters of bone embedded in your brain. Your hair is actually growing back nicely; it's at the sporty, spiky stage."

"Bloody hell, I probably look like a frigging butch truck driver."

Alex tittered for a second, "No you don't and I've never seen you look butch."

"What about when I wore a Sheriff's uniform?"

"Oh well, okay I'll concede that one."

"Do I still resemble Jennifer Garner or am I more like Rocky Balboa?"

Alex's laugh was one of pure delight, "Jennifer and the shattered bones in your face healed really well after surgery. You're still my gorgeous Erin."

"Thank you and I couldn't help but notice I am rather on the skinny side."

"We'll work on that together honey."

"Sounds like a good plan. What day is it babe?"

"It's Sunday the twenty ninth of October and the time is 1:35 in the afternoon."

"So we didn't buy a malamute puppy you wanted to call Gideon?"

"No baby."

"But we did have the native animal zoo on the back porch?"

Alex grinned at the question, "Yes that was real."

"Oh the poor buggers won't have us there to feed them this winter."

"Don't worry; Penny and Joe have been keeping an eye on the hotel for us."

"That's one less thing to think about. I'm really sorry for putting you through all this Alex."

"Erin, you saved Tyrone's life. If he'd been hit he wouldn't have survived. I am so proud of you and every moment I have spent here has been worth it. I'm just so pleased to see you awake and talking. When you regain some strength, I'll show you the drawings Tyrone and Joseph did for you."

"Thank you love, so if I didn't return to Eagle River, how did you end up with your engagement ring?"

"Lewis took it out of your property and gave it to me when he visited in March. Apparently you bought it the morning of the accident and it was in your coat pocket."

"Blimey, in my dream it was much more romantic than that."

"Do you remember all your dreams?"

"Darling, until today I thought that was my life."

Alex pressed her lips to Erin's hand, "Were we happy?"

"We were ecstatic Alex and we even planned on having children in a couple of years' time."

"Well that can still come true, so can the puppy."

"It was so real Alex."

"Did we make love?"

"All the time and we had my list of fifty fantasies to re-enact."

Chuckling, Alex scoffed, "That can happen when you are back on your feet and that may explain the spike in your heart and pulse rate."

"I'll look forward to that. Will you be here tomorrow for my tests?"

"I'm sorry baby, I'll be at work."

"Work, you have a job?"

"Yes I'm back at the DA's Office as Bureau Chief for Trials and Investigations. I started two weeks ago."

"Oh Alex I'm so unbelievably happy for you and a little more than proud."

"I couldn't have done it without you."

"It was a team effort. I like your hair and those glasses are as sexy as all hell."

Smirking, Alex tittered briefly, "Don't be going there, I've missed you terribly."

"Well I can't say the same thing because you and I were going at it like two little snowshoe bunnies were I was."

Groaning, Alex remarked, "Jesus I'm so glad to hear your humour again."

"I suppose you are now top shareholder of Duracell."

"Close to it sweetheart," answered Alex deadpan.

"You'll be able to toss out that vibrator when I regain full use of my limbs."

"Okay, now is the part where we change the subject."

"You could always lock the door and sit on my face. At least I can control my mouth and tongue."

"Good lord Erin, don't tempt me."

"I'm serious babe; I know how frustrated you get."

"You know, there is something totally wrong about the whole suggestion."

"Yes, but let me know if you change your mind. I'll be appearing here day and night with twice weekly matinee performances."

The laughter from Alex was raucous, "I'll get back to you."

"Have you spoken to Olivia and Elliot since you returned?"

"No, I've gone to pick up the phone a hundred times, but the thought horrifies me."

"Does it make you relive being shot?"

"Yes and all the crap that followed."

"What about us?"

"Sweetheart, you and I are the only good part of WitSec."

"Have you been open about who you're engaged to?"

"Of course I have. I made that promise to you and have held up my side of the deal."

Erin grinned devilishly, "I love you Alex and thank you."

"Role playing in Eagle River prepared me well."

"Speaking of Eagle River, what story was used to explain our departure?"

"You accident was a good cover and I left to look after you full time."

"You would have stayed even if I never woke up, wouldn't you?"

"Damn straight I would have and once my money was released, I would have called in the best specialist money could buy."

"That's very sweet, but I think the medical staff and doctors here have been pretty amazing. Just out of curiosity, how much is my future wife worth?"

"My trust account has around twenty million."

"Oh shit, I better organise your will."

"Don't make me laugh Miss Money Bags. My new Last Will and Testament lists you as sole benefactor until we have children."

"You didn't have to do that."

"Why not, you did."

"Of course, you would have checked when I was first injured."

"Actually I didn't, your boss James did. When it appeared like you may not survive surgery, he contacted me after speaking to your lawyer and informed me I was named as your next of kin and beneficiary of your estate."

"I did plan on telling you, but I've been a tad busy in my make believe world."

A giggled escaped from Alex's pursed lips, "You know it's very hard to be cross with you."

"That's a bonus love."

"I was curious about your obvious ready supply of cash and knew the U.S. Marshal Service wasn't handing out extra money. When that fabulous ring turned up, I did a little digging into your background."

"Oh no Alex, you found out about my time as an exotic dancer in Brunei."

"No smartass, I read a newspaper article from the London Times about an unnamed nineteen year old female whose family and friends were executed by Shawn McGill back in 1991."

"I swear I was going to tell you all about the media coverage when I gave you the ring, but apparently my plans were derailed by a wayward truck. By the way, what was the cause of the accident?"

"The hydraulic braking system failed on the truck and the driver lost control."

"What happened to the driver?"

"Wade suffered a few cuts and bruises. He visits you once a week to check on your condition."

"That's thoughtful of him."

"Yes and as to the previous matter, I'm not upset about you not telling me everything. I was however, surprised to read you had a huge compensation figure awarded to you by the court."

"A Barrister acting on behalf of my parents' and Nick's estates argued Scotland Yard, MI-5 and the FBI failed to protect me and the others once they learnt of McGill's release from prison. They fell short when they didn't act upon the threats made against dad and Nick during the trial and throughout his incarceration."

"They had a valid argument honey."

"Hence the reason nine million pounds were put into a trust fund for me."

"It didn't compensate for your loss though," reflected Alex with a frown.

"Nothing would ever come close to that as you well know."

The blonde nodded with understanding, "Would you like me to check if you are able to eat solid food?"

"That would be great and I assume I'm hooked up to a feeding tube of some sort."

Alex stood and let go of Erin's hand, "It's in your stomach. You also have a catheter, colostomy bag and a couple of cannulas attached to both arms."

Realisation hit hard as Erin's eyes brimmed with tears, "How close was I to dying?"

"Close enough that James had a plane on standby for me."

"Oh darling, that must have been hard on you."

"It was the toughest thing I've ever endured Erin. James snuck me down here two days after the surgery and I stayed by your bedside for three days wearing that black wig. Lewis doesn't even know about it."

"I must thank James tomorrow."

"He's been brilliant Erin. If he hadn't flown me down here, I would have driven myself."

"James is a smart man and would have realised that."

"I've become close friends with him and Renee throughout this ordeal."

"I'm glad you weren't alone."

"I always had you in my heart. I'll be right back."

Erin practiced lifting her legs and arms while she waited and was relieved when she discovered she had limited movement in each extremity. She was perspiring profusely by the time Alex returned carrying two paper bags and drink containers.

"The good news is you're allowed to eat, but you have to take it slow."

"I can to that and thanks."

Alex put the packages on the table and moved it over the bed, "I got you chicken and vegetable soup plus a banana and honey protein shake."

"No wonder I love you so much, you know how to look after me."

"Well you have looked after me for years, so now it's my turn. Why are you all sweaty?"

Erin raised her right arm, "I've been working out a little."

Grinning broadly, Alex noted, "Trust you not to lie around."

"I only do that when I'm in bed with you."

"Thank you for the reminder," quipped Alex as she held the straw to Erin's lips. "Slow baby."

Erin placed a hand under the cup, "I can hold it babe; you go ahead and eat."

Sitting down, Alex started on a sandwich, "I have more good news for you."

"Go ahead love."

"Doctor Blaine is removing the PEG feeding tube in the morning."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to more surgery," jested Erin with a roll of her eyes.

"It's a short procedure and I can be here for it before I go to the office."

"I like that news Alex. Can you swap the drink for soup?"

"Sure, how are you feeling?"

"I'm starting to tire a little."

"When you finish eating you can have a nap."

"Will you be staying?"

"Most definitely, I've a book to read."

-0-

Ten minutes passed and Alex was putting the empty containers in the trash can. Erin was struggling to move over to the edge of the bed and Alex looked at her sternly.

"What are you trying to do?"

"Babe, can you snuggle with me?"

"I usually do honey."

"Do you really?"

"I've slept here with you every night for the past four weeks."

"That probably explains why I dreamt of you."

"I'd like to think so Erin. Would you like me to help you brush your teeth?"

"That would be great considering I'm planning on kissing the stuffing out of you."

"There's all the incentive I need," taunted Alex with a giggle.

Once Alex was comfortably cuddling into Erin's left side and the lights turned off, Erin asked, "How often does the nurse check on me?"

"It was every two hours, but now you're awake that's been changed to four. Besides, you are hooked up to enough monitors to wake the hospital if anything goes wrong."

"I hope they don't come racing in when my heart rate climbs."

Alex kissed up along Erin's neck, "Why is that?"

"Because having you next to me is making my blood boil."

"Are you saying you're aroused?"

"Very much so and I want you to kiss me."

"Sweetheart, remember how hard it was for me to stop after our first kiss?"

"I do Alex, it changed my life."

"Well it's worse than that now."

Erin gave a quiet chuckle, "I get the picture, but you need to stop kissing my neck before I climax."

"Oh sweet Jesus," whimpered Alex. "I think I just did."

Erin laughed throatily, "Do I smell or something?"

Alex rose up on her elbow and looked down at her partner, "Of course you don't."

"Then bloody well kiss me woman."

The couple traded tender smooches and soft caresses for over ten minutes before Alex felt Erin tire.

"Go to sleep darling," she coaxed. "I'm ready to sleep too."

"Alex, I love you so much and thank you for standing by me through all this."

"I never contemplated leaving you," replied Alex before crying silently. "I can't express how happy I am to have you back."

"Shush babe, please don't cry. When I can stand on my own two feet will you marry me?"

"Yes Erin I will. Oh god, I love you." Alex laid her head upon Erin's chest and continued to weep.

Erin gently stoked her trembling fingers through blonde hair until exhaustion stole her away.

-o-

Erin began physical therapy in earnest two days after surgery to remove the colostomy bag and feeding tube. The catheter was also discarded and Erin felt less encumbered. She was keen to regain her strength and walk again.

By the time Alex arrived at five-thirty, Erin was receiving a pain killer injection to her hip area.

"Nice tush," declared Alex while putting her portfolio down on a chair. "Has the patient been behaving today Mary?"

Nurse Mary Stewart pulled Erin's boxers back over her left hip and rolled her eyes at Alex, "What do you think?"

"I'd say she overdid it and is now suffering the consequences."

"Good guess Alex; I'll leave you to it."

"Thanks. So what do you have to say in your defence Deputy Taylor?"

Erin gingerly raised the back of the bed, "I'm in a rush to walk and make love to my beautiful and very understanding fiancée."

Alex approached the bed, "Is that your final summation?"

"I want to go home and sleep in a real bed with the love of my life. How am I doing so far?"

"I think you are too cute for your own good."

Erin pointed to her lips, "So I'm out of the shit then?"

Alex kissed Erin slowly and thoroughly before answering, "Aren't you always?"

"Yes darling and hello my brilliant Chief."

"Hello to you, so beside the pain, how did therapy go?" Alex unbuttoned her suit jacket and draped it over the back of the chair.

"First session this morning was really painful, but bearable. I got a little carried away with the hip and leg exercises this afternoon."

"Sweetheart, Doctor Searest said it would be a slow process for your muscles and tendons to get into shape. I want you to take it easy tomorrow."

"I promise and how was your day?"

A scowl preceded the reply, "Same as yesterday."

"Jim Steele is still full of shit then?"

"Yes and much to his chagrin, I gave him a formal warning for going behind my back and ignoring my instructions."

"Way to go Chief Cabot. It sounds to me like he doesn't like having a female in the position he expected to get."

Alex pecked Erin on the head, "Your intelligence is showing again darling. I'm going to take a shower."

Erin grabbed Alex's retreating arm, "Can I have a request?"

"It depends on what it is."

"I want to see your body. I miss looking at all of you."

Alex smirked and played along, "Do I get to see yours in return?" She was taken aback by Erin's retort.

"Forget it," she snapped while letting go. "I didn't expect a trade-off."

Alex grimaced, "Would you like to explain that remark?"

"No, it's self-explanatory."

Sitting on the side of the bed, Alex curled her left hand around Erin's neck, "I don't care that you've lost weight and muscle tone. I love you for what is inside, not how you look. My reply to your question was a simple response meant to tease you, not upset you."

Erin lifted her hand to Alex's face, "I'm sorry sweetheart that was uncalled for. I don't want you to see my body, I look awful. It was stupid of me to ask you to get naked when we both know nothing will come of it."

"Stop beating yourself up honey and take a deep breath."

"Thanks for the pep talk babe."

Alex gathered a pair of beige linen pants, fresh underwear and a light blue singlet shirt then entered the ensuite.

-o-


	12. Chapter 12

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review.

* * *

Chapter 12

**Room 6504**

**Mount Sinai Medical Centre **

**One Gustave L. Levy Place**

**Fifth Avenue, Manhattan**

**2214 hours Friday 3****rd**** November, 2006**

**Chung chung**

Alex arrived outside Erin's room after being kept late at the office by two of her prosecutors. Billy Desmond and Nick Potter had been arguing over witness depositions for the majority of the day and the disagreement ultimately escalated into a full scale declaration of war. Alex had ended up taking them out to dinner and plying them with alcohol. The problem was resolved by the time dessert arrived and Alex returned to the office to finalise the statements.

As Alex went to open the door, Mary approached, "Can I have a word before you go in?"

Stepping away from the entrance, Alex asked, "Has something happened?"

"Erin had to be sedated after therapy."

Blue eyes popped with panic, "Oh god, is she all right?"

"She will be, but her rehabilitation has had a major setback."

"She's been frustrated as it is. What went wrong?"

"Erin had a fall and fractured the tibia in her right leg."

"Damn it, I told her to slow down."

"It wasn't her fault Alex. There was a hairline fracture already in the bone and when Manny helped her up to the railings the weight cracked the bone further and she collapsed."

"Dear god, but why was it necessary to sedate her?"

"Erin became hysterical with frustration and wouldn't calm down. She's due to wake within the next hour, but Doctor Searest wants to avoid giving her another needle."

"I'll be with her when she comes to and hopefully be able to keep her settled."

"That's what I was thinking. Erin mentioned you'd be late and was anxious to see you."

"I had a situation at work I had to take care of."

"I'll tell the staff coming onto shift not to disturb you for the rest of the evening."

"Thank you Mary, I appreciate your concern."

"Erin missed dinner, so she should be hungry."

"I'll take care of that."

"I'll see you tomorrow Alex."

"Goodnight and thanks again."

Entering the room, Alex quickly showered then dressed in cotton boxers and one of her sweetheart's service polo shirts. She climbed in beside Erin and wrapped her left arm over her girlfriend's chest. "I love you Erin," she whispered before kissing her cheek.

Erin stirred underneath her and turned onto her left side.

Alex's eyes misted over when she felt the fibreglass cast on Erin's lower right leg. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she promised, "We'll get through this baby. We've been through so much on our own and together we'll be stronger."

Heavy sobs came from Erin and Alex soothed her with gentle kisses and soft caresses along her back.

It was some time later when Erin spoke, "Did Mary tell you what happened?"

"Yes and you need to concentrate on getting better and not having a tantrum because things that you have no control over happen. Your accident today was a tiny fork in the road and is manageable."

"I know Alex."

"Good because I refuse to stand by and watch you fall into depression. You are a strong person and can overcome this obstacle."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence, but I got angry because I'll be in a cast for at least eight weeks."

"We will work it out Erin."

"Did you fix the problem at work?"

"Yes and I apologise for not being here earlier."

"It's fine and I'm glad you missed the floor show; it wasn't pretty."

"I'll be here for your session tomorrow and Sunday."

"I'll try not to break the other leg."

"Good plan, are you hungry? Mary mentioned you missed dinner."

"There's chocolate and fruit in the basket James brought."

"I'll fetch you some fruit."

"I'll take two bananas, an apple and a kiss from a sexy blonde."

"That's a reasonable request that I'd be happy to fulfil."

-0-

Seven weeks of physio saw the removal of Erin's cast and her lower leg fitted with a plastic air brace. Her first steps using the walking rails were tentative and she relied heavily on the strength she had regained in her upper body. Even though her leg muscles had toned up after the extensive therapy, they were wobbly under the weight as she stepped out along the cushioned floor.

As the eighth week came to an end, Erin's frame began to resemble its former structure, and with the added support of the brace, she was discharged from hospital on Christmas Day.

Alex drove her home and carried the bags inside while Erin hobbled along on her crutches. Manny was hopeful she would be able to walk unaided minus the brace within the next two weeks.

Erin stood in the entryway and looked at her living room, "Wow, you did an excellent job on the tree babe."

"Joseph and Tyrone helped me and they are looking forward to seeing you tonight."

"Alex, are you sure you are happy to live here?"

"Sweetheart, I really like your place and it will be two months before my apartment is remodelled and decorated."

"You're the boss."

"Yeah right," scoffed Alex as she headed for the main bedroom.

Erin followed and gingerly settled on the bed. Putting her crutches up against the nightstand, she started to unbutton her overcoat.

Alex was busy unpacking toiletries in the bathroom and yelled out, "BABY, DID YOU WANT TO DO YOUR EXERCISES FIRST OR TAKE A NAP?"

"I've started my exercises."

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute."

"Don't rush love; I've already got the brace off."

It was another five minutes before Alex exited the ensuite and walked into the bedroom. "Oh dear god," she mumbled almost incoherently.

Erin was lying on her back with both knees bent up against her chest and stark naked. She ignored Alex's slack jawed appearance and continued to stretch her tight quadriceps. Pushing her legs out straight, Erin flexed her calf muscles and pointed her toes towards the floor.

"Do you plan on joining me or just watch?" she finally asked.

Alex snapped out of her erotic daydream and went to the bed to help Erin with her exercises. Erin rolled onto her stomach and Alex straddled her back. The pair silently carried out the series of stretching and resistance moves like Manny had taught them weeks ago.

When they were done, Alex got to her feet while Erin moved onto her back. She finished with several forward stretches then reached for her crutches.

Alex hadn't moved from her spot the entire time, "Do you need help in the shower?"

"No thanks babe, I'll leave you some privacy to be alone with your vibrator."

Alex shook her head and glared at her girlfriend, "Erin, you do realise I don't even own one and it's just a joke."

With a sly grin, Erin responded, "I know Alex, but it's always good for a laugh."

"I'm not laughing; it's nearly been a year."

"Sweetie, have a look in the front pocket of my duffle bag and read the report."

Alex's brows furrowed with confusion, "Oh okay."

Erin headed to the bathroom and Alex retrieved the doctor's discharge report. Seconds later she rushed into the ensuite and confronted Erin, "Why didn't you tell me what Doctors Blaine and Searest said yesterday?"

Opening the screen door of the shower, Erin grinned brightly, "I was saving it, Merry Christmas Alex. Now get in here and help me, so we can go to bed and make love."

-0-

Alex was overly tender and mindful of Erin's limitations when the couple settled into bed. She took her time to kiss and caress every inch of the scarred flesh and Erin cried silently at the reverence bestowed upon her by the woman who stood by her with an unconditional love.

As Alex positioned herself above Erin's kiss bruised lips, she held her breath while she lowered her core to an eager mouth. The gentle touch of her lover's lips sent shock waves of pleasure through every nerve ending in Alex's body and tears of pure rapture fell unashamedly from her closed eyes.

Erin placed her left hand on the dip of Alex's back and gently stroked the warm skin. Her right hand lay on Alex's right hip and delicately urged her into a slow cadence back and forth across Erin's tongue.

As Erin's body trembled with tiny reverberations, she concentrated on satisfying Alex's needs. Her tongue strokes broadened and the tempo sped up to some extent.

Alex groaned as Erin continued to lap up her essence and she smiled against swollen flesh as Erin again responded to her touch once she lowered her own lips to her lover's labia.

The two women rode the crest of climax together some time later and Alex collapsed forward and onto her side, careful not to put any weight on Erin's frame. She turned around and settled her upper torso across Erin's chest while her left arm lazily stretched over Erin's right breast as her fingers wrapped around the brunette's bicep.

In reaction, Erin kissed the top of Alex's head and hummed.

Alex thought it was the cutest resonance she had ever heard, "That's the sound of utter contentment."

"Oh, I'm very content darling. You were simply wonderful."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No Alex, you were awfully heedful."

"I missed this closeness Erin."

"I did too, once I became conscious."

Alex chuckled loudly, "I nearly passed out before."

"Would you like to try again?"

"Oh yes please baby."

-0-

Several hours later, Erin stretched her legs again and Alex softly massaged the taut calf muscles then asked, "When do you want to get married?"

"How does February sound?"

"That doesn't leave us much time to organise things."

"How elaborate a ceremony do you want?"

"I don't want to draw any media attention."

"Why is that?"

"Sweetheart, you have to protect your identity, remember."

"Oh yes, I'm still in Sheriff mode and completely forgot."

"You were a damn good Sheriff Erin."

"Thank you and you rocked as a Magistrate."

Alex giggled for a second, "What about an April wedding and a honeymoon at Eagle River?"

"That sounds perfect."

"I don't want a huge service," admitted Alex.

"How about we invite just close friends and your family?"

"Mmm that is very private and suits me fine."

"Do you at least want to wear a gown?"

Alex ran fingers through Erin's collar length hair, "I'd like to, what about you?"

"Ah uhm, I never wear dresses. In fact I don't even own one, but if you want me to don one, I'll do it."

"I think I'd enjoy seeing you all girly girl."

Erin responded with a chuckle, "All right then and I wouldn't do this for just anyone."

The index finger of Alex's left hand slowly traced the outline of the scar on Erin's chest, "I truly appreciate your sacrifice."

"Oh don't mention it."

A silence fell across the room while Alex continued to caress the numerous fading blemishes on Erin's otherwise flawless flesh. When she reached the one on Erin's left thigh, she inquired, "Where would you like to have the ceremony?"

Pulling back from her sleepy state, Erin reached down and stroked Alex's hair, "How about a really ritzy hotel so our guests can stay overnight?"

"That sounds ideal, now go to sleep baby."

"Could I persuade you to join me?"

Alex's mouth found its way to Erin's hip and all thoughts of slumber were forgotten about by both women.

-0-

On January twenty sixth Erin swapped her brace for a walking cane and by the ninth of February she was walking freely. Her therapy ceased and the happy couple moved into Alex's three bedroom apartment at 235 West 78th Street. Erin rented out her place and the pair continued to finalise arrangements for a civil union. Initial plans were discarded when inquires drew a disappointing blank. The ceremony was eventually booked at the Waldorf Astoria for Saturday August twenty fifth. Invitations were sent out to fifty guests in March and Erin began the arduous task of finding the proper gown. Alex had no such trouble and had a dress chosen by the end of April.

-o-

James and Renee arrived for dinner on April twenty eighth and while Alex commandeered Renee in the study to fawn over the dress design, James sat with Erin in the living room.

He pulled an envelope from his shirt pocket and handed it over, "That's your official reassignment, but I'll save you the trouble of reading it."

"Let me guess? I have to complete a refresher course at the Academy."

James grinned, "Yes, you'll be starting a four week course in Brunswick on Monday."

"Well I guess Alex will have to come visit me in Georgia on the weekends."

"Looks like it and afterwards, you'll be heading up your own four member Fugitive and Apprehension team."

"Do I get to pick the team?"

"Already done, you'll have Lewis, Randall, Fletcher and Martinez."

Smiling, Erin nodded, "I can't complain about that, thank you James."

"After reading your psychological and physical assessments, I thought you'd prefer the fresh outdoors for a change."

"You got that right and I really do appreciate everything you and Renee have done for Alex."

"She was devastated Erin, but she never gave up on you or the belief you would pull through."

"Her inner strength is amazing." Erin laughed, "I even have her running ten miles with me in Central Park at six every morning."

"I hate to burst your bubble, but Alex has been running that distance for over a year."

"That would explain the absence of whining then." Erin stood up from the armchair, "I better check on dinner. Do you want a beer?"

"Sure, Renee is driving tonight."

"Coming right up."

-o-

**U.S. Marshal Service Southern District**

**500 Pearl Street, Manhattan**

**Suite 400**

**1043 hours Friday 17****th**** August, 2007**

**Chung chung**

Deputy Marshal Taylor looked up from the file she was reading behind her desk when she caught movement in her peripheral vision. "Agent Hammond, what can I do for you," she said in greeting as she stood and shook the tall man's outstretched hand.

"It's good to see you again Deputy Taylor and I'm glad to see you have fully recovered."

"Thank you for the flowers you sent."

"You're welcome."

"So what brings you here?" enquired Erin while perching herself on the corner of her table.

"Some unfinished business," replied Hammond as he withdrew an envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket. "This was delivered to my office this morning by courier."

Erin read the name on the front and her left eyebrow rose, "It's for Alex?"

"Yes, her mother's lawyer sent it."

"Bloody hell, she's been gone for some time. I wonder why it was delivered now."

"I gather it will be explained in the letter."

"I'll give it to Alex tonight and thanks for dropping it in personally."

"It was my pleasure and I'll see you next Saturday for the wedding."

Smiling, Erin said goodbye, "You will and thanks again Jack."

-0-

Alex was busy in the kitchen when Erin arrived home. She turned off the stove and greeted her in the hallway. "Hi honey, how did work go?" she asked while slipping an arm around Erin's midriff.

"Hello, dinner smells scrumptious and it was a busy day full of paperwork and a very interesting visit by Jack Hammond."

Blonde brows crawled upwards, "What did Jack want with you?"

Erin pulled Alex in for a kiss then answered, "We can discuss it after we've eaten. I'll just go have a shower and freshen up."

"Make it a quick one, dinner's ready."

"So I better not drag you in there with me then?"

Alex took Erin by the hand and reasoned, "It is reheatable honey."

-0-

"So tell me what Jack had to say?" asked Alex as she snuggled onto Erin once she'd settled on the couch.

Erin reached for the envelope on the coffee table, "Your mother's lawyer sent him a letter. It arrived this morning and Jack hand delivered it."

Alex took one look at the satchel and her eyes filled with tears, "It's mother's handwriting. She must have written it before I went into WitSec."

"I don't know babe," responded Erin as she wrapped her arms around Alex.

"She's been gone for nearly three years; this is all a little surreal."

Erin pecked Alex's head, "There's no need to rush love, take your time."

Taking a deep breath, Alex opened the envelope, "It's dated a month before she passed away." Alex turned the pages upwards, "Read it with me Erin."

"Okay."

**_My Dearest Alexandra,_**

**_If you are in possession of this letter, I wish you great happiness _**

**_and love for your wedding day._**

"Holy shit!" exclaimed a shocked Alex. "She must have known I was alive."

"Yes darling, I'm so glad she did."

Erin wiped away her tears and Alex placed a hand on her forearm before continuing to peruse.

_**I received a visit from Agent Hammond yesterday. It was a routine **_

_**follow up to see how I was doing. When the topic of you was raised, **_

_**he was evasive and uncomfortable. I have sat through enough board **_

_**meetings to know when someone is being dishonest. I deduced you **_

_**were in protective custody and had in fact survived the attempt on **_

_**your life by that despicable man Connors.**_

_**I was so relieved by that prospect and I wanted to locate you **_

_**desperately, but knew there was a chance I was still being watched **_

_**by people in Velez's employ. I didn't wish to put you at risk, so **_

_**ceased my endeavours to find out more on your whereabouts.**_

_**I miss you dearly my beautiful daughter and wish we could see each **_

_**other one last time before I pass from this world. My time is short **_

_**and I wanted you to know before you wed that I have always loved **_

_**you and been extremely proud of you.**_

_**During my last check up with Doctor Crosby I was informed I had **_

_**untreatable lung cancer. I am not saddened by this news, as I know **_

_**I will see your father again.**_

_**I have been fortunate to have loved and been loved in this life and **_

_**my best wishes to you and your bride on your special day. **_

_**Have a wonderful life Alexandra.**_

_**Be happy my darling.**_

_**Love always,**_

_**Mother**_

_**P.S. Yes I knew you were gay and was waiting for you to confide in me.**_

_**My darling, you are to contact Barney Stills as soon as possible.**_

_**Your father and I will be watching over you until we meet again.**_

Erin dried her tears and hugged Alex as she wept for her lost mother and the opportunity to speak to her one last time.

"She would approve of you," Alex finally decreed.

"My parents would have adored you Alex."

"Wow, this is just so amazing. Can we go to bed?"

"Sure, but who is Barney Stills?"

"He was mother's lawyer," replied Alex as she got up and headed towards the bedroom.

Erin turned off the television and lights before setting the security alarm. Alex was already in bed with her eyes closed when Erin joined her. She snuggled into Alex's back and kissed the nape of her neck, "How come you are wearing pyjamas? Are you cold babe?"

"No Erin," came the short reply.

"All right then, I suppose a goodnight kiss is out of the question too?"

"I'm not in the mood," snapped a preoccupied Alex.

"I know you are upset, but why are you pissed at me?"

"The letter just brought back all the hurt and anger."

"I understand all that, but why is that impacting on us?"

"I have carried around the guilt of not being able to attend my mother's funeral all this time and thinking she died with the belief I was murdered. Why didn't she give me the letter sooner?"

"She explained why. She didn't want your safety jeopardised."

Alex sat up and pulled away from Erin, "Another fucking lie told on my behalf without anyone conferring with me. When do I get to control my life?"

Rising up on her elbow, Erin responded, "I thought you had been doing just that for the past year. Funny, but haven't you been doing exactly what you wanted?"

"I thought I was ready to be open amongst all my old friends and contacts, but all I can think about is getting shot and what I lost. I want my old life back."

Erin's heart tore into a hundred pieces and she climbed out of bed. Without speaking, she entered the walk-in robe and dressed in blue denim jeans, combat boots, white tank top and a Marshal's navy blue polo shirt. Pulling on a jacket, Erin exited the closet carrying her ready bag. She looked at a crying Alex and calmly stated, "I should have known better than to believe I was ever in your league. Return to your high society life Alex, I'll not stand in your way. I hope you find your peace and I apologise for holding you back all this time." Steeling herself against the urge to fall apart, she raced out of the room and the apartment.

When she arrived at her car, Erin pulled out her cell phone and climbed in behind the driver's wheel.

_"Hey Erin, how you doing?"_ answered Lewis.

"Listen; there's been a change of plans with the Lowry case."

_"Why this late? The team is due to depart in an hour."_

"That hasn't altered, just the fact I'll be joining you."

_"But we'll be gone at least three days and don't you have a rehearsal to go to on Sunday?"_

"Not anymore Lewis, I'll see you in twenty."

-0-

When Erin walked into the office and greeted her team, Lewis grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her into the conference room.

"Do you want to explain what is going on?"

"Not really, let's just say the wedding is off and leave it at that shall we?"

"Oh hell no, you need to tell me what happened," demanded Lewis.

Erin sighed then explained the situation.

"Good god, so you just left?"

"Yes, Alex didn't want to talk and I got tired of hearing about how unsure she was."

"It sounds to me like she has a few issues to deal with."

"I think she may have stopped counselling prematurely, but she did make it clear a life with me is not what she wants."

"I really don't know what to say."

"Don't sweat it Lewis, it's done and I refuse to dwell on it. Now we have some work to do, so let's get to it."

"Okay, but I'm here for you if you want to talk."

"I appreciate that, but I don't want to discuss it again."

"You're the boss."

-o-

**Albuquerque Police Department**

**800 Louisiana Boulevard Southeast, Albuquerque**

**0212 hours Saturday 18****th**** August, 2007**

**Chung**

Peter Randall, thirty four and dark haired, pulled the Chevrolet Suburban into the parking lot of the Albuquerque Police Department and the Marshals piled out of the vehicle with their gear in hand. Once the team had liaised with the Police authorities, Erin contacted the local Marshal Service and informed them they were conducting a fugitive retrieval in their jurisdiction. Forty two year old Jason Lowry had originally fled New York six months earlier when he skipped bail on a charge of trafficking drugs and a BOLO had been issued for his arrest.

Investigations had led to Lowry residing in Albuquerque for the past three weeks with his second cousin Richard at an address in Alta Monte. An initial search of Richard Lowry's farm house proved fruitless, but a neighbour did confirm Richard and his visitor were headed to Rio Rancho for the weekend.

Due to the lateness of the night, Erin decided to postpone the forty minute trip until the morning, allowing the team to grab some sleep and nourishment. Booking into the Barcelona Suites Hotel at 900 Louisiana Boulevard Northwest, Erin went to her room and ordered dinner before taking a long shower.

Once she'd eaten, Erin settled into the double bed and cried herself to sleep.

She cursed loudly when her phone rang twenty two minutes later. Turning on the lamp, she read the caller ID then answered, "Hey Renee is everything all right?"

_"Sorry to call at this hour, but Alex just left here and you really do need to call her."_

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

_"Erin, James and I had to pour her into a cab. The woman is plastered and highly emotional."_

"Did she tell you what happened?"

_"Yes and she is beside herself with worry and remorse, not to mention guilt."_

"She said that?"

_"Yes."_

"Then why didn't she phone me?"

_"Honey, she is shattered over the fact you left her and she basically had a breakdown. James has organised an appointment for her with his Aunt Rhonda the Psychiatrist for the morning."_

"Oh bloody hell, that doesn't sound good."

_"Alex needs you Erin, but is too pigheaded to tell you that herself."_

"I'll speak to her Renee, but the wedding is cancelled."

_"I understand."_

"Hopefully it's only temporary until Alex feels better. Thanks for being there for her."

_"Don't mention it; I just want you two to work it out."_

"We will, talk to you soon."

_"Bye."_

Erin ended the call and waited ten minutes while she regained control over her rampaging emotions before phoning Alex.

_"Oh Erin baby,"_ cried an inebriated Alex. _"I'm so sorry I hurt you."_

"Its fine and I'm glad you are getting some professional help."

_"I thought I was over the trauma, but I guess I was wrong."_

"I'm sorry you are going through this."

_"You are too and I can't apologise enough. I need you sweetheart and I want to make it right between us again."_

"Alex, you are doing the right thing by seeing Rhonda."

_"Do you hate me?"_

"Of course I don't. I love you with all my heart Alex and it hurts to know you are suffering."

_"I love you so much and don't want to lose you."_

Erin started to weep, "Do you mean that?"

_"Yes, it's the only thing I am sure of and please don't cry baby."_

"I know you have been to hell and back Alex, but I need you to sort out all your issues if we are to have any chance of making it through this latest setback."

_"I realise I have problems with my past and I need you to help me fix the broken pieces. I'll do whatever I can to have you back in my life."_

"I'm so happy to hear you say that."

Alex's voice dropped a decibel as she quietly admitted, _"Mother's letter really screwed with me."_

"It sure did, but you are on the right track now."

_"I called Barney after you left."_

"Do you want to talk about it?"

_"I have to sign paperwork relating to inheriting mother's estate."_

"How do you feel about that?"

Alex's reply broke with a sob, _"Sad honey, just so incredibly sad."_

"Oh babe I'm sorry."

_"When will you be home? I gather you went to Albuquerque with the team."_

"I did and I hope to be back no later than Sunday night."

_"Are we okay Erin?"_

"Yes, but I am postponing the wedding."

Alex cried louder and Erin joined her, _"Forgive me honey."_

"I already have, but I want us to wait until you feel better. I don't want you to have doubts and I should have taken more notice of your behaviour."

_"I truly love you and the way you love me."_

"Trust in that love Alex and go to sleep. I will see you soon."

_"I will and thank you for contacting me."_

"Goodnight and we will talk more when I come home."

_"Erin."_

"Yes darling?"

_"Did you mean what you said before you left?"_

"No Alex that was just my crushed heart talking."

"_I feel so much better knowing that and I never want you to think my words were anything other than the ramblings of a scared and angry individual."_

"I understand babe, now get some rest."

_"Be safe baby."_

"You too and remember I love you no matter what, bye."

Erin disconnected and bawled with sheer relief. She knew Alex had a rough road ahead of her and she would be right by her side every step of the way.

-0-

Alex woke when she heard movement in the closest. Sitting up, she watched Erin in the darkness as she placed her equipment in the drawer of the bottom shelf.

"Sorry I woke you," apologised Erin without looking up.

"Hello and I tried to stay awake, but it got so late."

Walking out of the alcove, Erin neared the bed and sat on the edge beside Alex, "How did your appointment go?"

Alex reached out and interlocked her fingers with Erin's, "I cried for fifty five minutes and have another session tomorrow morning at eight."

"So you'll be late for work?"

"No, Rhonda's office is only a block away." Alex squeezed Erin's hand, "I'm so relieved to have you home where you belong."

"I am too Alex. I'll just go get ready for bed."

Alex attempted to remain awake, but she was curled up and asleep when Erin slid in under the covers six minutes later. She stirred when Erin spooned into her back and mumbled, "Missed you."

Choking back tears, Erin replied, "I missed you too babe and I promise not to walk out on you again."

"Thank you honey and I'll talk to you instead of acting like a spoiled Princess."

"I just want us to be okay."

Alex turned onto her side and captured Erin's trembling lips. All the fear, hurt and anger dissipated for the time being as lover's reunited and became one.

-0-

For the next six months Alex continued her sessions with Rhonda and slowly made progress at letting go of her guilt and resentment. Her relationship with Erin strengthened and every week the couple had a date night.

Throughout that time, Alex became comfortable with displaying her affection for Erin in public and around her family members. The pair attended several fund raising functions together and Alex was at ease when introducing Erin as her fiancée to old acquaintances.

At the beginning of March, Alex suggested they commence organising their wedding and Erin was more than willing to oblige. The civil union ceremony was scheduled for May twenty fourth at the Waldorf Astoria and Erin managed to secure three weeks leave and arrange the house in Eagle River for their honeymoon. She wisely had a trip to Hawaii on standby just in case the house was needed by the Marshal Service at the last minute.

A week before the nuptials, Alex surprised Erin with a candlelit dinner followed by dancing at a women's club.

Alex closed the front door while an exhausted Erin ambled into the living room and glided her hand over the Steinway baby grand, "How come I've never heard you play Alex?"

"Too many sad memories," replied the blonde as she snuggled into Erin's back.

Pivoting, Erin locked onto eyes of blue, "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"Don't be honey, it's one of the few hurdles I need to jump over with Rhonda."

Erin wrapped her arms around Alex and effortlessly lifted her up onto the piano, "How about we make a nice memory of us?"

A flash of panic sped across Alex's features and Erin hauled her off the lid in one swift motion and carried her into the bedroom. Without a word, she undressed Alex and tenderly made love to her.

After Alex was sated, Erin kissed her lovingly then went to sleep.

-0-

Alex woke first the following morning and prepared breakfast. She placed a fruit platter on the balcony table then went to wake Erin. Her girlfriend was already up and taking a shower, so Alex returned to the living room to wait.

Erin finished drying her hair and smiled when she heard the gentle strains of piano waffling down the hallway. Once she dressed, Erin headed for the living area.

Alex was sitting in front of the television watching a video of her mother and her playing a duet. She looked up and held her hand out to Erin.

Erin sat beside a teary eyed Alex and noted, "I see musical talent runs in the family."

"Mother and I used to play for hours." Alex leaned over and kissed Erin on the cheek, "Thank you for last night. Breakfast is out on the balcony, would you like some juice?"

"Yes please love," answered Erin as she stood and followed Alex outside.

Alex poured two glasses and suggested, "Because it's late, I thought we could have something light then go out for an early dinner."

"That's a great idea."

"I want to discuss work with you."

"Sure babe, what's up?"

"I've been contemplating stepping down and taking up a position with the Appeals Bureau."

"Alex, if that is what you want to do then go right ahead. I know you haven't been happy with Trial and Investigation for a couple of months."

"You know me too well and I miss being in a courtroom. I feel I'm ready to face the challenge and go in a different direction."

Reaching across the table, Erin clasped Alex's hand, "I think you are too."

"The hours are 8 to 4, so I'll be done with all those late nights."

Erin brought Alex's fingers to her lips and softly kissed them, "That's a bonus babe."

"I can start on the sixteenth of June."

"You will be well rested after our honeymoon."

"I'm looking forward to three weeks of uninterrupted bliss."

"I love you Alex and thank you for telling me about the new job."

"I adore you and let's go back to bed."

-o-


	13. Chapter 13

TITLE: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – "Lost"

AUTHOR: D M Harper.

SUMMARY: When Assistant District Attorney Alex Cabot is forced into the U.S. Marshal's Witness Protection Program, she doesn't handle her new life according to plan and struggles to let go of the feelings she has for the woman she was forced to leave behind in Manhattan.

PAIRING: Alex Cabot & OFC.

RATING: M for Mature Readers.

DISCLAIMER: This story comes from the imagination. I, along with other Fanfic writers, do so for fun and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe on the copyright of Wolf Films Studio, NBC Television or USA Television. This entertainment does feature consensual sexual interaction between two females, so if you are underage or unable to view due to restrictions in your part of the world, be gone with you and take my sympathy with you. If you find such material offensive, too bad, so sad, you chose to enter this web site of your own free will, hence you have no one to whine to expect yourself!

A/N: Please take the time to review. Much appreciation to those of you who have, cheers!

* * *

Chapter 13

**Ballroom Waldorf Astoria**

**301 Park Avenue, Manhattan**

**1402 hours Saturday 24****th**** May, 2008**

**Chung Chung**

Erin stood alongside Lewis and James at the altar and nervously awaited her bride's arrival. After five years of trials and tribulations, she was finally marrying the love of her life and couldn't be happier.

Renee appeared at the back of the row of seats and slowly walked down the aisle. She was dressed beautifully in a cream strapless gown and Millie followed, similarly attired.

Erin's breath hitched when Alex came into view on the arm of her uncle Bill Hermann. She exhaled and took in the glow of her majestic looking bride. Alex's hair was curled and piled on top of head with twirls of blonde cascading down the sides. Her dress was sleeveless and the white satin material clung to her curves.

"Bloody hell," Erin whispered. "She's spectacular."

Lewis leaned in, "So are you."

Alex's smile grew wider as she neared her bride standing stoically at the altar in a Vera Wang designed Princess styled gown. As her uncle presented her to Erin, Alex took her place and remarked, "You're beautiful and I'm definitely buying you a dress."

Erin grinned foolishly, "I'm pleased you approve, but I'll leave it up to you to be the girl."

Alex tittered briefly, "We'll see."

The celebrant stepped forward and began, "We come together today to share in the unification of Alex and Erin. Two souls who met in love and now wish to build on that foundation by being joined in the presence of family and friends.

Alex reached for Erin's left hand and squeezed.

"Alex and Erin have written their own verses and I invite Alex to begin."

The blonde turned to her right and focused on tear filled eyes, "Erin, we began this incredible journey through necessity with you as my protector and we have faced many obstacles on our way to finding love. You have been my brightest light throughout the darkest of my days and your beacon of love has guided me over rough seas until I found my way home. You are my chevalière in shining armour and I will love and cherish you for all eternity."

Erin wiped the waterfall of tears from her eyes and framed the right side of her bride's face, "Alex, I can't remember a time when I didn't love you. My life began the day you walked into my world and your love has kept me safe ever since. You are my star in the sky, the moon in my night and the sun in my day. You give me my strength, yet you are my one and only true weakness. My love for you will survive long after we have both stood the test of time and I will forever be yours."

Tears streamed down Alex's cheeks as she smiled, "That was so beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

The sounds of sobs reverberated around the large room as the celebrant resumed, "During the short time I have known Alex and Erin while planning this special occasion, I have witnessed their unique and resilient connection. Together they have endured heartache, distance and life threatening injuries, but their deep love for one another has kept them bonded. Lewis, do you have the rings?"

Stepping forward, the best man handed over a gold band to Alex and Erin. Returning to position, he swiftly dried his eyes.

"Alex, repeat after me. I Alexandra Grace Cabot join with you Erin Lacey Taylor in this Civil Union as my partner in life. I commit to be with you as your support, and friend to love, respect and to cherish you throughout life's journey. Wear this ring as a symbol of my love."

Slipping the ring onto Erin's left wedding finger, Alex chuckled, "Looks like you're stuck with me now." She repeated the oath flawlessly and cried the entire time.

Erin was no better when she placed the ring on Alex's finger then they both giggled when Erin said, "Stuck like clue babe."

"With the power invested in my by the State of New York, I now pronounce Alex and Erin united as lawful partners in life. You may kiss the bride."

Erin stepped in and embraced Alex before tilting her back and kissing her passionately. In reaction, Alex wrapped her arms around her bride's neck and responded enthusiastically.

When Erin pulled Alex up and their lips separated, the celebrant announced, "I am delighted to present Alex and Erin Taylor-Cabot."

The laughing duo turned and faced their guests then walked down the aisle arm in arm to join the photographer.

-0-

Erin led her wife to the bridal table and they took their seats. A waiter appeared and served them a flute of Moet which the couple gratefully accepted then finally relaxed.

Leaning in, Alex kissed Erin on the side of the neck, "I loved your vows."

"And I simply adored yours my wonderful bride."

Tittering, Alex pecked the throbbing pulse, "You're stunning in that gown."

"So are you Alex and what's tickling your fancy?"

"Oh, I was just imaging how much fun I'll have taking it off you later."

"You're most welcome to that task my love."

The private chat was interrupted by James on the microphone as he commenced the speeches and the first of the three course meal was served.

-0-

Forty minutes passed and Lewis had the guests in boisterous laughter as he told the story of Alex and Erin's stubborn clashes then the room fell quiet when he recalled Alex's devotion to Erin during her lengthy stay in hospital. Lewis finished his speech with a hilarious telling of Erin's first protection case which resulted in her being left abandoned and naked in the middle of a small country town when the primary feigned car sickness. As the junior Marshal, Erin was directed to pullover at a gas station by her partner. The witness produced a gun while Erin's colleague was using the restroom and she was made to remove her clothes, drop her gun and car keys.

She was forced to handcuff herself to a pole and the primary drove off in the vehicle. When her partner returned, Erin ran into a nearby cornfield and dressed in the clothes off a scarecrow. A local farmer drove by and mistook her for an escaped mental patient and threatened to shot her with his shotgun until her offsider caught up to them, quelled the situation and called for backup.

Her arrival back to New York was welcomed with copious ribbing from her colleagues when it was revealed she had been made to strip because the subject wanted to wear her clothes.

Alex stopped giggling and asked Erin, "Did you catch him?"

"Yes, two hours later when he tried to buy a bus ticket to Chicago using my driver's licence."

"A cross dressing witness is a new one for me," joked Alex.

"It takes all kinds babe. Do you want another drink?"

"Yes please and here comes the second course."

-0-

Erin escorted Alex to the dance floor and the couple both cried as _"Songbird"_ was played by the DJ. Alex nestled into Erin's neck and huskily stated, "Oh I love you so much Erin."

"I love you too and we are about to be separated."

As Bill and James stepped forward, Alex let go of Erin, "I'll see you soon."

She didn't. It was over an hour before the brides met up again and another four before Erin led a tipsy Alex up to their hotel room.

Alex pushed Erin up against the wall once the door closed and moved in close, "Thank you for a brilliant day." She pressed her lips to Erin's and kissed her ferociously.

Within seconds, two wedding gowns, shoes and underwear were scattered on the floor and Alex was feverishly bringing her bride to climax. The consummation of their marriage continued throughout the evening and ended with Alex sprawled on top of Erin in bed and snoring softly.

-0-

Three weeks of marital bliss followed in Eagle River and their old friends were delighted to see Erin had made a full recovery. The honeymooning couple were elated with the news Penny and Joe were expecting their first child in the New Year and promised to stay in contact once they returned to New York. Martin Simpson had taken Erin's place as Sheriff and was doing a sterling job.

Whilst in Eagle River, the pair maintained the original cover story as the house would more than likely still be used as a safe house in the future and the happy twosome returned home on June sixteenth.

The next day Alex took up her new position with the Appeals Bureau and as the days turned into months, Alex and Erin's relationship grew sturdier. When they were separated due to Erin's work commitments, they racked up serious phone time with nightly conversations.

Christmas arrived and the couple spent the day with Alex's family and the evening with the Hopkins clan. New Years was celebrated in Paris with Lewis and his family and Millie spent the entire time thanking Alex for organising the trip.

Erin took great pleasure in showing Tyrone and Joseph the sights while Lewis, Millie and Alex checked out some local wineries. The trio returned to the hotel and immediately went to bed. Erin was left with the boys and took them out to dinner followed by tiring them out by playing video games in their room.

After putting them to bed, she went to her suite and chuckled as she picked up Alex's clothes off the floor. Her wife had left a trail leading from the doorway and into the bathroom.

When Erin climbed into bed, Alex didn't stir and had some serious explaining to do in the morning when a bellhop knocked on the door with a trolley containing six cartons of wine.

Erin tipped him with Euros after she helped him offload the boxes into the entrance way.

"Vows remarketer Madame," he said before leaving.

"De rien, au revoir," replied Erin before going into the bathroom carrying a bottle of water.

She stepped into the shower and hugged Alex from behind, "I gather by your intoxicated state last night you had a good time yesterday." She passed the bottle to Alex.

"I don't remember how we got back here."

"Lewis and Millie went straight to bed too."

Alex drank deeply before saying, "We went to this chateau and they had this brilliant red wine. Millie suggested we stay for lunch then the rest is a blur, but the wine was divine."

"It must have been; there are six cases of it outside this room."

"Oh god, I don't recall ordering any."

Erin reached for the gel and wash cloth, "As long as you had fun, then it was money well spent." Washing Alex's back, Erin then turned her attention to her own body.

"Did you have a good time with the boys?"

"We had a blast."

Alex rotated, "Would you like to have a baby?"

Stunned by the question, Erin grinned widely, "I'm happy to wait until you are ready."

"I'm ready honey and I don't want to leave it too late."

"You'll only be thirty three this year."

"Yes but I was thinking it is a good time to start our family."

"Gosh, I really haven't thought about it."

Alex pecked Erin on the nose, "It would be my gift to you."

"Oh that is very sweet, but maybe I should be the one to give you a present first."

"You said you didn't have maternal feelings."

"I've changed my view on all things maternal since we married."

"You've made me so happy and it's a wonderful offer." Alex drained the bottle and placed it on the shelf.

Tilting her head, Erin kissed her neck, "We can look into it when we get home."

"Okay Erin and thank you."

"I love you my little wino."

Alex tittered before kissing her wife solidly.

-o-


End file.
